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View Full Version : The Political Crazies Thread...


Tev
11-17-2009, 05:10 PM
Is there a chance we can maybe get like a temporary sticky to dump all the really funny stories about political extremists from either end of the spectrum. There's just so many fun stories about these people that pretty much just boil down to "hey, look at this bunch of crazies" that seem to be popping up in the news lately and while I do want to talk about them, poke fun at them, whatever, I do kinda feel bad about making a whole new thread just because this crazy person is slightly different from the last.

That all said, get a load of this crazy! (http://www.theonion.com/content/news/area_man_passionate_defender_of)
ESCONDIDO, CA—Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head.

"Our very way of life is under siege," said Mortensen, whose understanding of the Constitution derives not from a close reading of the document but from talk-show pundits, books by television personalities, and the limitless expanse of his own colorful imagination. "It's time for true Americans to stand up and protect the values that make us who we are."

According to Mortensen—an otherwise mild-mannered husband, father, and small-business owner—the most serious threat to his fanciful version of the 222-year-old Constitution is the attempt by far-left "traitors" to strip it of its religious foundation.

"Right there in the preamble, the authors make their priorities clear: 'one nation under God,'" said Mortensen, attributing to the Constitution a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, which itself did not include any reference to a deity until 1954. "Well, there's a reason they put that right at the top."

"Men like Madison and Jefferson were moved by the ideals of Christianity, and wanted the United States to reflect those values as a Christian nation," continued Mortensen, referring to the "Father of the Constitution," James Madison, considered by many historians to be an atheist, and Thomas Jefferson, an Enlightenment-era thinker who rejected the divinity of Christ and was in France at the time the document was written. "The words on the page speak for themselves."

According to sources who have read the nation's charter, the U.S Constitution and its 27 amendments do not contain the word "God" or "Christ."
From the rest of the article it sounds like his daughter is pretty sad that this kind of brainwashing is happening to her father. Personally, I think more money needs to go to our education system, especially in the area of Civics.

Smarty McBarrelpants
11-17-2009, 05:21 PM
Wait, "according to sources who have read the nation's charter"... the whole text is onlin and it's in English- why do thye need to consult outside sources for this one.
Cause I totally read it and there was God in it like 8 times.

Tev
11-17-2009, 05:25 PM
Because it sounds more valid if they say they had someone smart look into it. This irresponsible journalism swings both ways here.

Kepor
11-17-2009, 05:26 PM
It's the damn ONION.

Ryanderman
11-17-2009, 05:27 PM
You do realize your quoting an article from The Onion, don't you? That while anything written in said news source may or may not be true, the odds lie heavily on the side of complete fiction for the sake of satire?

Smarty McBarrelpants
11-17-2009, 05:27 PM
Hahahaha, I didn't even look at the link, just the quote. That'll teach me. I did think it was weird that he knew James Madison as one of the prime authors of the constitution cause it's not a name that gets trumpeted by right wing sources.

Tev
11-17-2009, 05:33 PM
Well yeah, it's the Onion, but it does a good job illustrating the point of all the crazy people we see in the news.

Also, this is the folly of clicking random links on Google News.
Damn this is what I get for reading things online without looking! I'm going back to CNNMSNBCFOX. At least those people are clear about thinking they aren't satire. >_>

Ryanderman
11-17-2009, 05:38 PM
That was the point of the article. To make up a crazy extreme to illustrate the absurdity of the more mundane crazies that actually exist.

Kepor
11-17-2009, 05:44 PM
Well, as far as real crazies go, there are the militia movements that have gained momentum recently.

Tev
11-17-2009, 07:41 PM
I've not heard of any militia groups getting more rowdy than normal......

Wigmund
11-17-2009, 08:20 PM
Political Crazy #1 is visiting my hometown for her book tour (http://www.arkansasonline.com/news/2009/nov/17/palin-plans-fayetteville-stop-book-tour/?news). I'm tempted to go by and see what kind of white trash greets her.

Magus
11-18-2009, 02:25 AM
Can anyone explain to me what exactly "going rogue" entails, anyway? Does it involve giving up all political relevance yet still making a hefty profit from an extremely poorly written book? I mean, for what purpose are we still talking about this woman? She resigned her governorship of Alaska, and claims that she is not aiming for a 2012 GOP nomination (sadly, as it would be a shoo-in for Obama to be reelected in that event). She appears to now have no political aspirations, and most, if not all, of her political opinions are, at best, patently ridiculous, especially when she is given the chance to attempt to outline them herself.

Can anyone explain what relevance she has beyond being the butt of jokes, and being the World's #1 Grandma to little baby Tripp? Oh, and her ability to go rogue. No one does it like her. No one.

EDIT: Then again, the entire basis for this thread was someone mistaking the Onion for a real news article instead of satire. Seriously, Tev, I know we all make mistakes, but that's like a Fox News-level mistake! Next you'll be using bloggers as your sources!

Tev
11-18-2009, 10:12 AM
EDIT: Then again, the entire basis for this thread was someone mistaking the Onion for a real news article instead of satire. Seriously, Tev, I know we all make mistakes, but that's like a Fox News-level mistake! Next you'll be using bloggers as your sources!
Yeah I've decided to take like a 3 week hiatus on posting the weird shit I see online to reflect on how the rabid need to share even the most off the wall thing I read is affecting my judgment. >_>

But to answer your other question, I think it's because people here can't get enough of the sheer absurdity that is Sarah Palin. She serves as a constant figurehead of what is wrong with the education and political systems in this country. At this point, if our over-hyped political journalism stays the course, Palin has pretty much cemented her role as a pundit for life. She could never run for a public office again and Fox News or CNN will still be asking "What did Sarah Palin think about X?" In reality, whatever she thinks about X will be pointless, but that won't stop them from asking.

Magus
11-18-2009, 02:10 PM
Hmm, we have to put up with Palin as a pundit but she never runs for a public office...

I'd say it's a sacrifice we as a country should be willing to make. We can always change the channel, after all.

Meister
11-18-2009, 02:41 PM
Is there a chance we can maybe get like a temporary sticky to dump all the really funny stories about political extremists from either end of the spectrum. There's just so many fun stories about these people that pretty much just boil down to "hey, look at this bunch of crazies" that seem to be popping up in the news lately and while I do want to talk about them, poke fun at them, whatever, I do kinda feel bad about making a whole new thread just because this crazy person is slightly different from the last.
Nope. If you feel bad about making a new thread for a topic because it's too similar to an existing one, that's a good indicator that said new thread isn't really needed and you shouldn't. The ability to recognize this is a natural gift, folks, and I couldn't in good conscience put you in a situation where you don't need to use your natural gifts.

Also! Closing because the OP doesn't have a news article. An Onion article might be valid when it's targetting a specific current news story but in this case it's more of a general phenomenon.