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View Full Version : Westboro....in my town?

Tev
11-15-2009, 01:10 PM
So the Westboro Baptist Church, famed for their "God hates fags" message and protesting at soldiers' funerals was scheduled to be in my town yesterday to give a token hate protest against a documentary play detailing the life and death of Matthew Shepard. I was actually invited to partake in a "counter-protest" of sorts but turned down the offer as I feel giving this bunch of crazies even the tiniest shred of legitimacy is really the wrong way to deal with the problem.

Anyway, it must not have been that big a deal here because I've not yet found a single article in any of the local papers about the protest. On a somewhat enlightening note, I did find an article written by a guy who supposedly sat in with the group for one of their protests against comedian Ron White. (http://trueslant.com/harmonleon/2009/11/09/westboro-baptist-church-picket-obama-girls-and-blue-collar-comedy-tours-ron-white/) Fun stuff.

GO TO HELL FUNNYMAN

Tonight there are bigger fish to fry. “We’re going to picket a performer who’s in town,” Shirley Phelps beams.

“Really! Who?”

“Ron White.” she replies, referring to the star—along with Larry the Cable Guy—of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

“You mean Tator Salad?!?” I exclaim, mentioning him by nickname. I’m confused,and more than a little delighted. “We’re going to picket standup comedy!?” (Pause.) “Is Ron White gay?””

“He’s a filthy adulterer.” Shirley’s sister Abigail contributes as we plod past a schoolyard. “He’s the one who always has the bourbon.”

“Do you find Ron White unfunny?”

Shirley thinks for a moment. She smiles. “He’s got some funny stuff.”

“Then why picket his comedy show?”

“He’s got a pulpit,” she stresses. “We like him, but they all could be teaching God and the way of life. They have responsibility!”

“Tator Salad!?” I once again inquire out of disbelief. “Isn’t a comedian’s only responsibility is to get laughs?”

“They can do that and be faithful and sermon about the Lord.”

Shirley and I aren’t on the same page with numerous things—this being one of them.
TheWolf13
11-15-2009, 04:14 PM
They were here on Thursday the 12th and protested a memorial for soldiers being built in our area. There was a lot of uproar in the weeks preceding it and a large counter demonstration was organized by several local radio shows. On Thursday there were over 150 people at the counter demonstration and only 10 showed up from Westboro.

I think they are reaching a point where people don't even really care about their idiocy anymore.
Tev
11-15-2009, 04:34 PM
Well I just talked with one of the counter-protesters today. She said they had over 300 people waiting and when the Westboro group showed up, they didn't even get out of their cars and just kept driving. So I guess there was no protest, only a counter-protest.
Nikose Tyris
11-15-2009, 04:49 PM
How come I never get to have the really stupid ones come near me. :( Not even a PETA demo around here!
Tev
11-15-2009, 05:04 PM
Don't you live in Canada? What the hell is anyone going to protest up there? How cold it is?
Wigmund
11-15-2009, 05:15 PM
Best way to deal with stupid groups like the Westboro Baptists is to make them look like fools (not that much of a challenge).

Fayetteville did this when the KKK decided to hold a rally in town back in the late 80s or early 90s (I've heard this story several times from my grandfather), the city let them hold their rally because of free speech and all that - but the city also booked a CLOWN rally right next to the Klan rally. The clowns (with police protection) would wander into the Klan meet and unplug all their sound equipment. Klan hasn't been back in town since.
Bob the Mercenary
11-15-2009, 05:58 PM
Those tools. They came to a town near me to protest after a priest was murdered by a janitor. He was stabbed something like 33 times. Not that I know what they were protesting, since it was a simple "guy snaps, kills boss" murder scenario. And just to clarify, they were protesting the funeral not the, you know, guy who maimed him.

@Wigmund: That's so awesome. xD
Tev
11-15-2009, 06:15 PM
Well Bob, if their priest funeral protest was anything like their standard soldier funeral protests then they were protesting that since God hates gay people, he let the janitor murder the priest as punishment to the town that may or may not harbor people who are gay or help gay people. That's how these nut jobs operate anyway.
Marc v1.0
11-15-2009, 06:28 PM
Well Bob, if their priest funeral protest was anything like their standard soldier funeral protests then they were protesting that since God hates gay people, he let the janitor murder the priest as punishment to the town that may or may not harbor people who are gay or help gay people. That's how these nut jobs operate anyway.

I think I remember that part in the Bible. Something about..Love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek, he who is without sin, kill priests in towns that harbor gays.

Hm...that doesn't really look right...
Nikose Tyris
11-15-2009, 07:05 PM
Westboro doesn't beleive God is a loving God. They beleive he is a wrathful god and that everyone is right fucked.

No seriously. They think being giant assholes to everyone is the only way to get into heaven. Go watch their youtube releases.
Tev
11-15-2009, 07:12 PM
Westboro doesn't beleive God is a loving God.
To be fair, God was a pretty big dick for a very long time. He seemed to mellow out though after he knocked up that one man's wife. It's true that having a kid really changes a guy.
bluestarultor
11-15-2009, 07:53 PM
The WBC was supposed to come to my area to picket churches they thought were too gay-friendly a while back. I don't think it actually happened. Or at least they left my church alone. Then again, my contingency plan was to have my priest bless something mildly caustic so I could tell them they were being burned by our holy water when I splashed them with it. Nothing too powerful, just enough to itch and burn a bit. Then I'd have drowned out their pathetic little protest with a speaker system blaring quotes from the Bible that would take their shit down several notches. I'd also have been wearing some bitchin' shades the whole time. They then would have left in shame to great celebration.

As things are, I just have to comfort myself with the fact I'm so badass that they didn't even try anything. :cool:
Nikose Tyris
11-15-2009, 07:55 PM
To be fair, God was a pretty big dick for a very long time. He seemed to mellow out though after he knocked up that one man's wife. It's true that having a kid really changes a guy.

Don't fear God's love! He hasn't gotten anyone pregnant in over 2000 years.
Tev
11-15-2009, 08:01 PM
That's because God wears protection.
POS Industries
11-15-2009, 08:31 PM
The WBC was supposed to come to my area to picket churches they thought were too gay-friendly a while back. I don't think it actually happened. Or at least they left my church alone. Then again, my contingency plan was to have my priest bless something mildly caustic so I could tell them they were being burned by our holy water when I splashed them with it. Nothing too powerful, just enough to itch and burn a bit. Then I'd have drowned out their pathetic little protest with a speaker system blaring quotes from the Bible that would take their shit down several notches. I'd also have been wearing some bitchin' shades the whole time. They then would have left in shame to great celebration.

As things are, I just have to comfort myself with the fact I'm so badass that they didn't even try anything. :cool:
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/data2.jpg
Bob the Mercenary
11-15-2009, 11:31 PM
Don't fear God's love! He hasn't gotten anyone pregnant in over 2000 years.

http://www.ustream.tv/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/obama-official-photo.jpeg

And God had a great alibi for that first one. Namely that the Holy Spirit did it and he is both God and not God at the same time. I wish I could use that in court.

"Did you rape this woman?"
"Yes and no."
Mac
11-15-2009, 11:33 PM
I think Canada has said that WBC are not welcome here, but don't quote me on that.
Wigmund
11-15-2009, 11:58 PM
I think Canada has said that WBC are not welcome here, but don't quote me on that.

Kinda like how Britain banned Michael Savage because he's a complete fucktard?
bluestarultor
11-16-2009, 12:44 AM
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/posindustries/facepalm/data2.jpg

Did I mention the part where their sheer impotence before my awesomeness would have made them give up and disband? Also that I would have my own theme song for the occasion? You can't argue with a guy who has a badass theme song, after all. You get drowned out by the guitar. :cool:

By which I mean if it somehow wasn't clear, the entire thing was pure fantasy concocted out of boredom at the time.
MasterOfMagic
11-16-2009, 12:55 AM
Don't fear God's love! He hasn't gotten anyone pregnant in over 2000 years.
<picture of Obama>
So...are you saying God got Obama pregnant?

No, no, that can't be right...
POS Industries
11-16-2009, 01:01 AM
So...are you saying God got Obama pregnant?

No, no, that can't be right...
Yeah, Bob needs to really work on the whole reaction image bit.
Mac
11-16-2009, 01:11 AM
So...are you saying God got Obama pregnant?

No, no, that can't be right...

No no no.

Obama got God pregnant. Cause he's like totally awesome that way.

http://i38.tinypic.com/34zasxx.png
Nikose Tyris
11-16-2009, 08:11 AM
http://i38.tinypic.com/34zasxx.png

That'll do, pig. That'll do.
grthwllms
11-16-2009, 08:29 AM
Okay you guys are trying reaction images and you're failing miserably. So I'm going to give you the only reaction image you'll ever need.

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/5792/1255047313599.jpg

Incidentally it both applies to the subject of the thread, and every single one of you.

Except POS.
Bob the Mercenary
11-16-2009, 08:32 AM
So...are you saying God got Obama pregnant?

No, no, that can't be right...

I meant that God got Obama's mother pregnant. It wasn't a reaction pic.

Didn't mean for that to go over all you guys' heads.
Tev
11-16-2009, 05:32 PM
So if God is Obama's dad, then he's not Kenyan? That'll be a hard sell to the Birthers.
Smarty McBarrelpants
11-16-2009, 06:22 PM
Wait, Obama's illegitimate? Birthers dream!
MasterOfMagic
11-16-2009, 06:23 PM
I meant that God got Obama's mother pregnant. It wasn't a reaction pic.

Didn't mean for that to go over all you guys' heads.
Nah, I knew what you meant. I was just posting the first thing that came into my head because I thought it was rather funny.
Bob the Mercenary
11-16-2009, 07:33 PM
So if God is Obama's dad, then he's not Kenyan? That'll be a hard sell to the Birthers.

Yeah, but he still wouldn't be American.
Marc v1.0
11-16-2009, 08:50 PM
Yeah, but he still wouldn't be American.

Weird, I thought the location of your Birth determined that, not who your father was..
Bob the Mercenary
11-16-2009, 08:58 PM
Weird, I thought the location of your Birth determined that, not who your father was..

You are correct, and I am an idiot. :sweatdrop
bluestarultor
11-16-2009, 09:04 PM
Weird, I thought the location of your Birth determined that, not who your father was..

You are correct, and I am an idiot. :sweatdrop

Never mind that, his mother is an American citizen. He could have been born on the dark side of Europa and he'd still qualify as an American citizen. There are two laws, after all: law of the land, jus soli (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jus_soli), and law of the blood, jus sanguinis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jus_sanguinis). While not all countries do, America has both.
Marc v1.0
11-16-2009, 09:05 PM
Never mind that, his mother is an American citizen. He could have been born on the dark side of Europa and he'd still qualify as an American citizen. There are two laws, after all: law of the land, jus soli (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jus_soli), and law of the blood, jus sanguinis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jus_sanguinis). While not all countries do, America has both.

Which is why Birthers are the most retarded people in existance in this age.

Really.