Basically every Hasbro board game ever made being turned into movies

[Bob the Mercenary]

Universal's date declaration positions "Battleship" to become the second film release from the studio's multiyear deal with Hasbro to turn its classic games into features. The studio previously set an April 11, 2011, release date for "Stretch Armstrong," with Steve Oedekerk about to deliver a script.

Aside from "Battleship" and "Stretch Armstrong," U is separately developing "Clue" with Gore Verbinski, "Monopoly" with Ridley Scott, "Candyland" with director Kevin Lima, and "Ouija" with Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes.

What? (http://weblogs.variety.com/bfdealmemo/2009/09/peter-berg-boards-battleship.html)

I mean, I can see a remake of Clue. And Candyland might be an interesting children's movie. Stretch Armstrong could be an alright action-comedy, depending on who they get as the lead. But, Monopoly?

"But Mr. Moneybags, you mustn't go. It's too dangerous."
"No my dear, I must. I have to...buy Boardwalk. It is my destiny."

Yeah, you're going to have to squeeze pretty hard to get a story out of that one. Not to mention Battleship. Hollywood has officially run out of ideas.

[NonCon]

If you don't think a Monopoly movie would be the best movie ever then fuck you.

Why are they making another Clue? Clue was great! Don't taint it with your lack of Tim Curry and whatever inferior, inane 'hilarity' you try to inject into it!

[Bob the Mercenary]

If you don't think a Monopoly movie would be the best movie ever then fuck you.

The entire game is a guy going around buying up property and paying his electric bill. Oh the tension.

[Julford Hajime]

If the Monopoly movie doesn't set new movie-length records, I will be disappointed.

I'm saying I better be getting a tent along with my tickets.

And seriously, no Chutes and Ladders? They picked Oiuja over C&L? That board game taught me all I needed to know about life!

[NonCon]

The entire game is a guy going around buying up property and paying his electric bill. Oh the tension.

You probably don't like Scrooge McDuck either.

Fucker.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

If they make the movie about basically him buying out every (or multiple) company(ies) around and show different interesting (or funny) ways about how he buys out each individual company (think Death note without the actual death note nor him killing anyone). If they do it that way, this could actually turn out pretty good.

~but~

Hollywood rarely puts that much thought into a game/video game/anime based movie. So I guess it'll more then likely end up sucking.

[tshadowdrag]

The entire game is a guy going around buying up property and paying his electric bill. Oh the tension.

You're upset because you came in last at the beauty contest again aren't you?

Anyway, I really don't see many feasible movies they could draw from the board games. I love the original clue, more so than the actual game. Stretch Armstrong could be something entertaining like that. Monopoly would be something to see in it as long as they can get something right in using the ways of buying properties, but would that be even appropriate in how the U.S. housing market is right now?

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

Think Wall Street but starring Mr Moneybags. How is that not awesome?

[Bells]

I think i should take advantage of the moment and write a Script for "Risk: The Movie"

I mean... it's a movie about a generic world wide war, how hard would THAT one be?

[synkr0nized]

I am going to be all kinds of angry if the Battleship movie does not involve ships being put into ridiculous square-based formations, roaring torpedo and cruise missile fire taken in alternating turns, tense moments where fire is incoming and the ship crews bite their nails off fretting over if it's their end, and giant red pegs being put in the damage sections of th...

You know, just go look at the Minesweeper movie trailer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHY8NKj3RKs), but then consider it being made as a Battleship one. That's what I want to see.

[Osterbaum]

That's exactly how I'd like the Battleship movie to be too. It would be so great.

[Corel]

If this film doesn't include a scene where the Naval's flagship is destroyed then a camera pan to a horror stricken General muttering "By God...You sunk my Battleship!" I will not be impressed.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

But, Monopoly?

"But Mr. Moneybags, you mustn't go. It's too dangerous."
"No my dear, I must. I have to...buy Boardwalk. It is my destiny."

Yeah, you're going to have to squeeze pretty hard to get a story out of that one. Not to mention Battleship. Hollywood has officially run out of ideas.

Here's a thought for Monopoly. Base it somewhat on the Richard Pryor flick, where RP had to buy all sorts of things in order to get the full inheritance. Now tweak the story, and Moneybags has 4 children. The one who can acquire the most land/utilities will get the full inheritance, along with everything purchased.

Yes, its a completely insanely stupid plot & nothing I'd remotely be interested in. However, it does seem like the sort of crap Hollywood might churn out.

And I wouldn't say that Hollywood has run out of ideas, but rather they've figured out that its a tad easier to sell existing properties, rather than come up with anything new.

SWB

[grthwllms]

If this film doesn't include a scene where the Naval's flagship is destroyed then a camera pan to a horror stricken General muttering "By God...You sunk my Battleship!" I will not be impressed.

Only the P.T Cruiser is left against the enemies Carrier and Submarine.

Crowning moment of awesome ensues as it dodges shell after shell, firing back and hitting every time.


Suddenly, after bringing the Sub down and destroying 4/5 targets on the Carrier, the Cruiser gets hit.

"....Sir! Where do we fire?!"

"....B2..."

The screen starts flashing back and forth between the Captain of the Carrier and the Cruiser, slowly getting closer to their eyes.

"SIR, WE MISSED!"

"OH SHIZN-"

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

[Bob the Mercenary]

If it does everything Grth just said, I will be satisfied.

[krogothwolf]

It's a Micheal Bay film?

[Magic_Marker]

If it isn't I'll be dissapointed.

[Bells]

Who owns the right to Solitaire? I'm thinking "Maverick Meets James Bond"

[grthwllms]

Who owns the right to Solitaire? I'm thinking "Maverick Meets James Bond"

"Do you expect me to play?"

"No mister Bond, I expect you to forfeit."

[Fifthfiend]

Seriously the best thing they could do for the Clue Movie would be to promote the hell out of their Clue Movie and have loads of interviews of their director and producers and people saying how everyone's gonna love the Clue Movie and do a huge goddamn premiere for the Clue Movie and then just show the good-ass old Clue Movie.

With I don't know, Digital Remastering. In 3D!!

[NonCon]

Fuck that, I want to have one of them mystery dinners at a fancy restaurant with the original cast. That would be leagues superior to any movie ever.

[krogothwolf]

You do realize a new Clue Movie would probably be destoryed because they would do it similar to CSI.

[Solid Snake]

It'd be pretty cool to sit down to watch a serious war movie with an epic opening sequence in which shit hits the fan and every nation in the world declares war on each other, and suddenly you see American soldiers landing in Canada to initiate hostile action, and the atmosphere's really tense as you hear explosions as you watch a unit infiltrate a government building in Toronto or something...

...And then the two forces collide and just stand there and roll dice. Magic dice that result in epic explosions. It's like die duels or something. "I rolled a six, bitch!" And then suddenly you'd see a massive nuclear explosion, and then the surviving defender would walk out of the mushroom cloud, undazed.

And all the units are wearing colored uniforms. Also, the Eastern United States has declared war on the Western United States, and there's all kinds of crazy alliances, including but not limited to Mongolia, New Guinea and South Africa fighting against Kamchatka, Southern Europe and Madagascar. Also, those crazy Kamchatkans would build a massive land bridge connecting it to Alaska in order to invade, Greenland would have similar teleportation devices allowing instant access to Europe and America, and a massive tectonic shift will result in Brazil's invasion into North Africa.

Australia would always win, though. And New Zealand wouldn't even exist. It'd have sunk to the bottom of the ocean before the story even began.

[POS Industries]

Wait wait wait:

"Monopoly" with Ridley Scott
This is going to be the most awesome thing ever. Rich Uncle Pennybags lording over a crooked multinational corporation in a gritty futuristic dystopia, driven to crush any and all competition, controlling the rail lines, the power and water, owning every piece of land and charging grossly inflated rental rates for anyone who dares even set foot within his growing empire. He's even rigged the beauty contests in his favor!

No jail can hold him, and the only thing free.... is the parking.

[Solid Snake]

Wait wait wait:


This is going to be the most awesome thing ever.

There just better be an epic scene in which Moneybags is arrested and the line "Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200," is spoken by the judge who sentences him to jail time.
I don't care how stupid it sounds. I don't care how serious the rest of the movie is. These sentences must be uttered.

[Mauve Mage]

Pfft. The Monopoly movie will involve a giant boot, a car, a top hat, and a scottie dog gaining sentience and going into a real estate buying war to outdo one another, only to discover their war has been planned and masterminded by a mysterious real estate tycoon and mob boss, codenamed Monopoly Man.



...if they don't use the "go directly to jail" line in the real movie, I will be so disappointed.

[Bob the Mercenary]

No jail can hold him, and the only thing free.... is the parking.

Win.

[The Gunslinger]

I would give two kidneys to see those movies... but not Clue. They should keep their filthy whore hands off of that.

[Magus]

Candyland will undoubtedly be a fairly straight-forward children's movie, so as far as that goes it will be hard to screw up.

Monopoly might be good if there is a plot device about 2/3 through where the antagonist (some other Monopolist) gets Mr. Moneybags put in jail and Moneybags has to escape, and the rest of the movie is fairly madcap as well. Mr. Moneybags drives the car from the game, has a Scottish Terrier for a pet, etc.

The first Clue movie was amazing and great, I don't know if they can do another one that'll be just as good...they should remaster the first one and re-release it on DVD (they'll probably do that anyway, so...)

[Julford Hajime]

No jail can hold him, and the only thing free.... is the parking.
Win.
Agreed. If this isn't the tagline, they're doing it wrong.

[Hawk]

It'd be pretty cool to sit down to watch a serious war movie with an epic opening sequence in which shit hits the fan and every nation in the world declares war on each other, and suddenly you see American soldiers landing in Canada to initiate hostile action, and the atmosphere's really tense as you hear explosions as you watch a unit infiltrate a government building in Toronto or something...

...And then the two forces collide and just stand there and roll dice. Magic dice that result in epic explosions. It's like die duels or something. "I rolled a six, bitch!" And then suddenly you'd see a massive nuclear explosion, and then the surviving defender would walk out of the mushroom cloud, undazed.

And all the units are wearing colored uniforms. Also, the Eastern United States has declared war on the Western United States, and there's all kinds of crazy alliances, including but not limited to Mongolia, New Guinea and South Africa fighting against Kamchatka, Southern Europe and Madagascar. Also, those crazy Kamchatkans would build a massive land bridge connecting it to Alaska in order to invade, Greenland would have similar teleportation devices allowing instant access to Europe and America, and a massive tectonic shift will result in Brazil's invasion into North Africa.

Australia would always win, though. And New Zealand wouldn't even exist. It'd have sunk to the bottom of the ocean before the story even began.


I would pay actual monies to watch this. This is the shit right here.

[The Gunslinger]

"If you own a home and I own the bank that loaned you the money, then I foreclose your house!" "You see, I have a competition in me. I, and no one else, must own all the hotels, even the very streets they stand on. Because when I look at these investors and tennents, I see nothing worth liking."

I really want Monopoly to be There Will be Blood but about real estate.

[TheSparrow]

Wow....Monopoly actually involved in something exciting (http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/monopolys-hidden-escape-maps-free-pows/story?id=8605905&partner=yahoo). So of course the movie wont be about this.

[Aerozord]

"Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200,"
I have actually used this in arguement before. It works with just about anything. Ultimate capstone to a verbal curbstomp. "Go directly do your room! Do not pass go! Do not collect $200!"


Stretch Armstrong I am actually happy about. I remember as a kid thinking this would make an interesting TV show. But only if it was completely off the wall

[Yrcrazypa]

The Monopoly movie is going to be a movie so long, that no one but the clinically insane will finish watching it. I've never played a full game of Monopoly, and neither has anyone else that I know. It all ends in tears.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

The Monopoly movie is going to be a movie so long, that no one but the clinically insane will finish watching it. I've never played a full game of Monopoly, and neither has anyone else that I know. It all ends in tears.

The trick is rampant side deals to up the stakes dramatically and can bring out really creative deals.
It did, however, create a situation once where there was two players left, one owned 95% of the property but the other had deals to not pay rent on 90% of those. It was....interesting.

[NonCon]

The trick is rampant side deals to up the stakes dramatically and can bring out really creative deals.
It did, however, create a situation once where there was two players left, one owned 95% of the property but the other had deals to not pay rent on 90% of those. It was....interesting.

This really is the only way to play Monopoly.

[Aerozord]

Monopoly is like Risk, eventually you realize you cant win and quit. You could play it out but it would be a waste of time.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

How do you not finish Risk? Risk is like Diplomacy for people with no time. Even world domination should take like 3 hours top (except that one game where we were having a 3-way proxy war in Asia with 100 armies each and no one with the balls to open fire). People try to stalemate Risk, if you play aggressively enough, however, people will smell the opportunity and join you in killing the stalematers.

[Aerozord]

Whenever I play Risk it always ends up being basically a cold war. No one attacking more then a coutry or two a turn, everyone biding their time to make their assults, which they do but then only taking maybe five territories before hunkering down. Three hours is like bare minimum for us

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

I have never lost a game of risk in my life and all I do is attack. Seriously if everybody is hunkering down, just attack someone before they get too settled and the other players should join you unless they are idiots.
There is only ever one player who is benefited by a long stalemate and unless that player is you (because your position is better or you vastly outproduce everybody else combined) you should attack.
It also helps to grow a beard beforehand to intimidate everyone else away from actually attacking you. Also make deals before the game starts so you can take half the board each before the other players know what is happening. Speed can actually be ridiculously useful in that game.


Getting more back on topic, I reckon Monopoly could be a crazy drugs movie. Basically a stressed out executive (Mr Moneybags) but instead of murdering people Gecko-style he lays himself out on coke to get his corporate edge. This would allow the introduction of the superior monopoly piece: the battleship- as his talking cartoon companion who breaches the wonders of unrestricted capitalism, only restrained by his good friend Woofy "The Dog" Bones who tries to convince Moneybags of the benefits of people and having a heart. But how can this scruffy old dog penetrate a heart of iron of an industrial powerhouse with his teeth too long and brittle? Will there be an all-singing, all woofing musical number to close it off? You better believe it.
If the battleship is only mentioned as like a portfolio interest of the main character or not mentioned at all I will be very upset :(.

[synkr0nized]

Whenever I play Risk it always ends up being basically a cold war. No one attacking more then a coutry or two a turn, everyone biding their time to make their assults, which they do but then only taking maybe five territories before hunkering down. Three hours is like bare minimum for us

This is terrible Risk playing.



The battleship Monopoly piece provides a potential tie-in for the Battleship movie.
"Sir, we only have room for one more red peg! And then enemy has a 50-50 chance of aiming correctly this time, based on their attack pattern! What do we do?!?"
"We wait it out."
"But sir! We could retreat!"
"Fool! The enemy fleet, eager to sink us, is about to reach Park Place. There are hotels all around. Soon, they won't have the money to fire a single shot! ... And we'll take a risk at the Community Chest!"

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

Best way to defeat the battleship: Turn off the waterworks.

[Fifthfiend]

This really is the only way to play Monopoly.

That plus slipping yourself extra hundies from the bank.

Monopoly: If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'.

[Magic_Marker]

I'm not playing anything with you.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

It's Monopoly not carefully planned corruption free economy. It's a free-wheeling capitalist love-fest and ain't no capitalist love fest I ever been to where there wasn't rampant loop-hole exploitation and illegal acquisition of funds. It's the point of the game!

We once had a Traders of Genoa game end with a firm handshake and an agreement to gang up on some indigenous folks. Then we smoked cigars and drank Italian coffee. You got to get into the spirit of the game.

[NonCon]

I'm not playing anything with you.

The way to win Monopoly is to outcheat the other cheaters. And to make deals that are so far in your favor it's technically extortion.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

All I have to say is if you haven't won a game of monopoly in the first few turns you have lost horribly.

[Magic_Marker]

Bitches please, Monopoly not the be all end of of back stabbery, A Game of Thrones (http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/6472) however...

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

If you want a game of backstabbery you should play Diplomacy where it is built into thte rules and encouraged.
Monopoly is the game of out and out cheating.

[NonCon]

Monopoly is the game of out and out cheating.

Monopoly is the game of steal thousands of dollars from the bank while your friend goes to use the bathroom and then pour salt in his soda because this is war motherfucker.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

Monopoly even tacitly acknowledges being a bastard. I mean fuck they charge you £200 pounds to use the railway and this is in 1930s money. And all the stations are within London. Even with the rampant inflation since then it would cost a few pounds to go between these stations. For £200 pounds I could fly there and back a couple of times.
And there is clearly something going on with that beauty contest. Second prize is only £10.

[wight24]

i always playd with my bis sister first thing sh did was burn the rules next she gave herself all of the 500's and all of the big bills then i got all of the 1s i always won to :)

[Corel]

I think NPF should start a Risk game online via browser or email which allows us to play our turns at a leisurely weekly pace.

Yes I certainly do.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

I tried to start a diplomacy game which is basically Risk for people who aren't pussies but could never get the numbers.
I would totally be down for some online monopoly though.

[katiuska]

I don't know what the rest of you are on about, Monopoly was totally winnable without cheating. It was boring as hell and it took forever, but it could be done.

The only thing was that my brother insisted on playing the cannon and exploding my pieces whenever anything happened. This cut a game short when my dog ended up in the vent.

[Bob the Mercenary]

I'd be willing to start up Diplomacy again if everyone can keep up with it every week. Because as all the participants of the last round know, if one person is late with their orders it delays the game for everyone.

I also have a nifty program that keeps track of orders and prints out a map that I can link.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

I'd be willing to start up Diplomacy again if everyone can keep up with it every week. Because as all the participants of the last round know, if one person is late with their orders it delays the game for everyone.

I also have a nifty program that keeps track of orders and prints out a map that I can link.

Pssh, there are websites wehre you can play it online which moderates allt he rules and keeps everyone on time. And keeps all your conversations and things in one place. That's how we do it as our gaming group is all the world.

[Corel]

I've never played Diplomacy, but give me a few days to read up on it and I'd be happy to also join in.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

http://www.wizards.com/avalonhill/rules/diplomacy_rulebook.pdf

[krogothwolf]

Diplomacy is an awesome game. I haven't played it in years. Keeping alliances then breaking them yet knowing they will need to ally with you again in the future is wonderful.

We had a great game once were some got to strong and we all allied against him, we got him down to one area left and then me and an "ally" took over everyone else from behind. In the end I game 3rd because my "ally" was able to get me and then he took over the guy we were all ganging up on last. Such a fun game.

[Corel]

Wow, this is like a combination of Risk and Chess mechanics with a game that makes you be Diplomatic with other players; what rock have I been living under?

Edit: Maybe we should move this discussion to another thread? I don't want to be bogging down the Hasbro film discussion too much.

[synkr0nized]

Like we haven't sunk that battleship already.

[Magus]

I just saw the Colbert Report's vision of the Battleship film. And it was delightful.

[Aerozord]

got a youtube link or something to it?

[Magus]

Best I can do right now is point you to the Colbert Report site and tell you to skip to 10:30 on this video:

http://www.comedycentral.com/colbertreport/full-episodes/index.jhtml?episodeId=249049