Bad Movie Confessionals

[Mirai Gen]

God help me but Rocky 4 is seriously one of my favorite movies of all time (Coincidentally just behind Rocky for entirely separate reasons).

So I felt like bringing this up so we all can get together and confess how we watch awful movies.

[BitVyper]

Rocky IV is a fantastic movie. Anyone who says otherwise is stupid and ugly.

Edit: And fat.

[Archbio]

Stupid and ugly like Rocky IV?

Impossible!

I enjoyed Halloween III. The one that has nothing to do with William Shatner. There, I said it.

[TheSparrow]

I liked Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
I liked HUDSON HAWK

[Osterbaum]

Is The Rock considered to be a bad movie? 'Cause I liked it. I used to anyway, haven't watched it in a long time.

EDIT: Sorry, stupid question; It's a Michael Bay movie, of course it's bad.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

Rocky 4 is totally awesome. As is the original transformers cartoon.

[Hawk]

Seconding the Rock. I love that movie. And the fact that until now I didn't even know it was Micheal Bay doesn't affect my judgment at all.

For my own confession; I quite liked Jumper. I think I may have just won the thread with that statement.

[GARUD]

I liked Bruce Almighty, although I don't think its really a bad movie, just a little interesting. Transformers:ROTF was a bad movie that I loved also. Now if you'll excuse me.

*Climbs the NPF Clock Tower, sets up sniper rifle, and gets ready to take out anyone who says Twilight.*

It's for the good of the cause!

[3stan]

I love the first Librarian movie, and like the second one.

Specifically, I love the parts of the first Librarian movie in which Kyle Maclachlan's character shows up. Everybody clearly realises what kind of movie they're in, and has absurd amounts of fun with it.

[Azisien]

Pretty much any Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. And I do mean any of them.

[TheWolf13]

*Climbs the NPF Clock Tower, sets up sniper rifle, and gets ready to take out anyone who says Twilight.*

It's for the good of the cause!

I liked the Twilight movie. My wife bought it because she likes the books and after watching the movie I read the whole series. Not every movie has to be revolutionary to be entertaining. Billy Madison is one of the dumbest movies of all time but I still laugh every time I watch it. Also

*takes cover*

[Megaman FTW]

Seconding the Rock. I love that movie. And the fact that until now I didn't even know it was Micheal Bay doesn't affect my judgment at all.

For my own confession; I quite liked Jumper. I think I may have just won the thread with that statement.

Wait, is it that you made a type-o and mean to say that you actually liked Jumpers, or is there just some other movie that is much less terrible with a similar name?

Cuz jumpers BLEW.

I mean, watching the teleport fights was nice, what with the flying around and the shooting and the busses, but the plot was... was... Oh dear gods.

On a related note, I liked Push, which I've heard many people hate. Probably because the commercials made it look just like jumpers.

[TopHatAssassin]

I also liked Twilight! Eragon wasn't so bad either, if only for the fancy effects. They both fall into the "so bad it's good" category for me, more so with Twilight.

There was another, I'm sure...

[G.I.R.]

I saw Push in the theaters. I enjoyed it very much. in fact, I want to say I saw it twice.

Edited: Because it wasn't really a bad movie at all.

In its stead: I really enjoyed Pineapple Express.

[Fifthfiend]

Seconding the Rock. I love that movie. And the fact that until now I didn't even know it was Micheal Bay doesn't affect my judgment at all.

For my own confession; I quite liked Jumper. I think I may have just won the thread with that statement.

http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showthread.php?t=34769

I loved Total Recall.

Title says bad movies, what the fuck is this doing here.

[Bob the Mercenary]

I'm thirding the Rock, also both Mortal Kombat movies are works of art.

[Magic_Marker]

The Rock is now not a "bad" movie because too many people like it. After me nobody else can say it.

Anywho, I am a big fan of some movies that get the middle finger from nerd culture.

Star Wars I-III were not as bad as everybody prattles on about.
All Michael Bay Films. Seriously unplug your brain it's why you are there.
Knowing brought emotions to me, and was hilariously bad enough to be enjoyable.

This is where I win this game:

Battlefield Earth.

[B_real_shadows]

And I'm going to trump your battlefield earth with a Troll 2. Shitty ass movie, but I liked it.

[Magic_Marker]

I still think Battlefield Earth wins with the horror that is Scientology, but whatever. :meh:

(EDIT: Seriously no meh smiley?)

[Fifthfiend]

All Michael Bay Films. Seriously unplug your brain it's why you are there.

It's a confessional, not a get-all-defensive-about-your-shitty-tastional.

[stefan]

Street Fighter is the greatest comedy ever made.

[Magic_Marker]

Forgive me father for I have sinned?

[EDIT] Damn, this post made me think of what it would be like if Fifth was a priest.

[Kaneda]

Logan's Run is not a good movie (despite the fact that some people born in the '60s seem to think it is) but beneath all the cheese and hilarious datedness of it is a good fun movie. It's as though the enjoyment I get from the decent sci-fi adventure core is only heightened by it's laughably terrible and '70stastic exterior.

[TDK]

Logan's Run is not a good movie but (...) it is a good fun movie.

:P


I liked I Am Legend, despite it having fuck all to do with the book.

Also, the matrix sequels.

[NonCon]

The Mario Bros. movie. That used to be my favorite goddamn movie.

[Ryanderman]

If you watch Twilight with the Rifftrax (http://www.rifftrax.com/), it reaches epic levels of awesome.

[Ravashak]

Evil Dead 2, the possessed hand is awesome xD

[Megaman FTW]

Knowing brought emotions to me, and was hilariously bad enough to be enjoyable.

For those who haven't seen this yet: Jesus Aliens. Yep. Jesus Aliens did it. WTF?

[krogothwolf]

I actually enjoyed Speed Racer

[NonCon]

I actually enjoyed Speed Racer

Seconded. I personally feel that that is the only possible way that Speed Racer could have worked as a movie.

[B_real_shadows]

I always thought Speed Racer was a good movie that the critics just hated for no apperent reason other than "the wachowski's did it!"

[Osterbaum]

The Mario Bros. movie.
Seconded.

[stefan]

I always thought Speed Racer was a good movie that the critics just hated for no apparent reason other than "Its based on a cartoon and dares to wander outside the cartoon ghetto!"


fixed that for you.

[Masked Jedi]

I agree with Speed Racer. Though I think it, along with Southland Tales and Repo the Genetic Opera are legitimately great. As are all three Evil Deads.

Waxwork and Waxwork 2 are insane. I don't know if they're good and bad, I just know i like them.

Blades of Glory is terrible. And Get Smart isn't very good. I like them both. Also Ms. Congeniality.

[NonCon]

Repo was pretty rad.

[3stan]

Reading another thread has reminded me: I love those crappy, unscientific, inaccurate, hammy, stupid disaster movies such as Independence Day, Day After Tomorrow, Knowing (though that one is in a more 'so bad it's good oh man this is getting so stupid how stupid can it get' fashion) and the upcoming 2012.

So, uh, yeah.

[Hawk]

Wait, is it that you made a type-o and mean to say that you actually liked Jumpers, or is there just some other movie that is much less terrible with a similar name?


It's called Jumper (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jumper_(film)) and yes I meant what I said. Haven't seen Push, but from what I hear it's essentially the same thing, but with TK instead.

http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showthread.php?t=34769

Alright, you win this round Fifth! But next time...



Title says bad movies, what the fuck is this doing here.

Agreed, WTF dude??!!


I'm thirding the Rock, also both Mortal Kombat movies are works of art.

I'd agree with you on MK1. MK2... not so much. That was just atrocious, even by videogame movie conversion standards.

[TheSparrow]

I'd agree with you on MK1. MK2... not so much. That was just atrocious, even by videogame movie conversion standards.

atrocious by video game movie conversion standards? This is a genre that includes: Street Fighter, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, D.O.A., Doom, Bloodrayne, Hitman, Postal, Alone in the Dark, Silent Hill, Double Dragon....

MK2 is middle of the road in video game movies....

[Jreed]

I...I liked Larry the Cable Guy: Health Food Inspector.

Also, Wicker Man Remake

[Mirai Gen]

I'm thirding the Rock, also both Mortal Kombat movies are works of art.

Works of art?

Um, honestly Bob I can at least see it being "the best movie adaptation of a game thus far" with Mortal Kombat, cause it was a decent video game movie and there are like none of those that aren't animated, but Annihilation was just...godawful.

If I had to pick a favorite part it would be script literally consisting of a trade off of exposition and fight scenes. Really, that was it, there's absolutely nothing else in the movie.

And then the Kitana/Sonya mudfight. Just...yeah.

[synkr0nized]

The Mario Bros. movie. That used to be my favorite goddamn movie.

ahahaha

ahahahahahahah

oh my God

[Preturbed]

Pretty much any Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. And I do mean any of them.

Oh man, fucking Conan the Barbarian.

I actually enjoyed Speed Racer
Fuck yes. Third-ed. I really don't know why it panned like it did.

[Bells]

I Liked Wild Wild West...

... a lot...

Ah fuck it!

(Wild Wild West)
When I roll into the
(Wild Wild West)
When I stroll into the

(Wild Wild West)
When I bounce into the
(Wild Wild West)
Sisqo, Sisqo

We going straight to the Wild Wild West
We going straight to the Wild Wild West!!

[NonCon]

ahahaha

ahahahahahahah

oh my God

To be perfectly fair, it came out when I was a small child and had MARIO on the cover. It would be nigh impossible for me to not like it.

[synkr0nized]

That's the same reason I went to it, and I still was able to recognize how horrible it was.

"Lugi Mario!"

"AND NOW I AM A T-REX RAWR!"

[Mirai Gen]

That's the same reason I went to it, and I still was able to recognize how horrible it was.

"Lugi Mario!"

"AND NOW I AM A T-REX RAWR!"
http://images.craveonline.com/article_imgs/Image/koopa.jpg
"Monkey!"

[Kaneda]

Logan's Run is not a good movie but (...) it is a good fun movie. :p
Ja. That's the thing though, it's like a good movie coated in shit, and then you get to enjoy the two different layers for what they are. One of which is a solid old school sci-fi story, and the other being hilarious camp.

I actually enjoyed Speed Racer
I thought this thread was about bad movies, not AWESOME movies critics hated for no good reason.

[krogothwolf]

My friends all made fun of me for saying it was an enjoyable movie.

Question though what is considered a Bad Movie? Critics against it? Box Office Bomb? Or something else?

[TDK]

If you watch Twilight with the Rifftrax (http://www.rifftrax.com/), it reaches epic levels of awesome.

That site is fucking amazing.

[Archbio]

I Liked Wild Wild West...

I think my head just collapsed into a time/space singularity.

[batgirl]

Eragon wasn't so bad either, if only for the fancy effects.

Seconded, I thought Eragon was tolerable, even a bit of fun with all the effects.

Also, I happen to think that Constantine was a pretty good movie.

[Azisien]

Did you say....Twilight?

Twilight? TWILIGHT?!

TWIIIIIIIILIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHTTT!!!! TWWWIIIILIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHHHTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 1

[Solid Snake]

...Even the previews of the Twilight Rifftrax easily constitute as the most amazing thing I've watched all day.

[Magic_Marker]

Oh man, fucking Conan the Barbarian.


My dad thinks it's genius because it's mostly told through music.

I told him that it's Conan the goddamn Barbarian. You can like it, but art it ain't.

[Toastburner B]

I liked Van Helsing, AvP, and the Chronicles of Riddick.

All and in all, 2004 was a awesome year for campy action flicks.

I also liked the 1998 Godzilla film. Really, if they could of gotten a decent actress for the female lead, that movie would be classic.

[Magic_Marker]

You know what deserves more credit? Godzilla 2000. I thought it was neat-o.

[Mirai Gen]

atrocious by video game movie conversion standards? This is a genre that includes: Street Fighter, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, D.O.A., Doom, Bloodrayne, Hitman, Postal, Alone in the Dark, Silent Hill, Double Dragon....

MK2 is middle of the road in video game movies....
See the thing about some of those movies is that they usually took their silliness factor and embraced it. DOA and Street Fighter and Postal were just awful due to the overwhelming amounts of cheese thrown in every few minutes, insisting on reminding you HEY WE DON'T TAKE OURSELVES SERIOUSLY THAT WAY WE AREN'T BAD AMIRITE and missing the mark horribly.

The others are bad too but somehow MK:A's script was banged out by Scapellis (Seriously, kill off Johnny Cage? One of the only decent actors in the first movie? And then replace Raiden and Sonya entirely, the other two who made the first movie decent?!) and had a cast of just godawful actors, Sindel, Shao Kahn, Jax, etc. I remember Sheva (Goro's sister)'s actress being especially pissed that she died in like, two seconds.

The others are awful but just something about MK:A just hits that level of 'not even remotely entertaining'.

Though there is an honorable mention for Boll's 'good idea' of including video game footage taking place of the movie. Seriously, what the hell.
Rocky IV is a fantastic movie. Anyone who says otherwise is stupid and ugly.
I'm a big fan of Rocky, and the first movie is absolutely masterful, especially with that additional pow of Rocky, the protagonist, actually losing even though he got what he wanted. The rest of the movies are okay.

But Rocky IV, just...just I don't know. Something about the way they shot so far above and beyond how semi-realistic the other movies were to engage in this fantasy-land where having just traits makes you a good boxer, like Rocky = Stamina, Skill, Power and Drago = Power, Height, Range.

Plus Apollo comes in and gets his ass kicked to the point of where he dies, and then Rocky goes to Russia, has a montage, and then comes in and barely manages to win in the last round? Seriously, Drago gets knocked down once and then he's done? I thought Drago was the powerhouse? And why is it Apollo dies while Rocky lives? Is it because he has more Stamina? Just, what? And why is the crowd suddenly cheering for Rocky? They want their boxer to win, so who in the crowd is going to go all "Yay Rocky!" The stakes were set so high I can't even understand what would make them go to Rocky's side. The "Giants" crowd in San Francisco don't spontaneously just start cheering for the other team, so why does it happen here?

And then this movie ends the Cold War. No, seriously, that's what actually happens.

And it is still so satisfying and enjoyable to watch, despite the fact that much of it is so goddamn ridiculous on multiple levels. It isn't so bad it's good, it's so good but in a way that was so different from the tone that Rocky set I can't wrap my head around it.

Fuck Rocky 5, I don't know what the fuck that was about.
If you watch Twilight with the Rifftrax (http://www.rifftrax.com/), it reaches epic levels of awesome.
Yakety-Sax during the forest run made me lol so hard. I'm going to have to get that.

[Toastburner B]

You know what deserves more credit? Godzilla 2000. I thought it was neat-o.

Oh, don't get me wrong: I like me some Godzilla flicks. I just chose the 1998 Godzilla because even most Godzilla fans act like that was the worst movie ever.

I say those people haven't seen Godzilla's Revenge. Now that's a horrid movie. Makes '98 Godzilla seem Oscar worthy.

[Masked Jedi]

Question though what is considered a Bad Movie? Critics against it? Box Office Bomb? Or something else?

They hated it because the Wachowskis made it, but it wasn't dark and symbolic, like their other movies. Serious directors can't make kids movies, goddammit!

[Osterbaum]

Seconded, I thought Eragon was tolerable, even a bit of fun with all the effects.
That movie was so bad. SO BAD!

On a plus side it did give me and my girlfriend at the time something to laugh about and make fun of.

[BitVyper]

The thing about Michael Bay is that his movies aren't even really that good as action movies.

I actually enjoyed Speed Racer

Speed Racer was marvellous. We had a thread about it when it hit theatres that basically consisted of everyone talking about how it was almost mathematically impossible for it to do anything but suck, and then how awesome it ended up being. Aside from the stunning visuals and the John Goodman beating up a ninja, I think it was really the absolutely perfect balance of drama and action that really made Speed Racer.

[Mirai Gen]

That movie was so bad. SO BAD!

On a plus side it did give me and my girlfriend at the time something to laugh about and make fun of.

Book isn't too hot either. (http://eragon-sporkings.wikispaces.com/eragon_sporkings_page) MARYSUEFEST!

[BitVyper]

Conan the Destroyer. Worse yet; my favourite scene in the movie is Arny running around smashing those mirrors.

[Invisible Queen]

Hell yeah Speed Racer. It's is such a beautiful development and logical continuation of The Matrix and people should be writing papers about it and aping it to death and try to understand what the smuck the Wachowski bros are doing. I find it weird that none of this is happening.

Now, I love Armageddon in a totally un-ironic way. It's the quintessential Bruce Willis saves the world, bad nineties action movie, and I love that they show it to newbies at NASA and make them count the occurencies of bad science, but it's still glorious. Liv Tyler almost makes me cry because I feel for her character.

And the Resident Evil movies. Well, mostly Apocalypse. It helps not giving a crap about the games, all I see is lovely Milla Jovovich kicking ass and taking names. Also it has a most notoriously hilarious DVD commentary track with the actors making fun of the movie, telling funny stories, quoting themselves wrong - "We're expandable asses" - choking on snacks and nearly laughing themselves to death and doing bad German accents. "Ja! I will use my veelchair computer, it is much better for ze hacking."

I guess it was too good to stay cause I haven't seen it in years and I think they don't sell it anymore. Stupid trilogy box having less bonus features than the original releases, what's up with that?

[Hawk]

You know what else I really like?

Waterworld.

>.>

<.<

>.>

*Runs*

[Invisible Queen]

Hehe, I loved Waterworld when it was new, but I watched it for the first time in a long time the other week and it was really lame. It's like all their efforts were spent on keeping the cameras steady on the sea and they couldn't do anything interesting or dynamic. Like Road Warrior except without all momentum, bobbing gently through the water at 1 mile per hour. Still like Helen (http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4182808576/ch0009139) though. She's one of the rare specimen who look sexier with clothes than without.

PS. Flashdance. I. . . don't want to talk about it.

[Osterbaum]

I sort of liked... The Postman.

[Bells]

Waterworld is so bad that everyone who liked it also liked A.I. a little bit.

That's just how bad it was.

[Hawk]

I sort of liked... The Postman.

Yeah man, The Postman was ace. A little bit over-patriotic but good none the less.


Waterworld is so bad that everyone who liked it also liked A.I. a little bit.

I didn't. There goes that theory.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

I sort of liked... The Postman.

I think this wins the thread. I mean not only was this film bad it was ridiculously long so it can beat plenty of other bad films merely by length.

[InsaneGenius]

I liked Waterworld when I was a kid. I haven't seen it since then. But it can't be that bad.

I liked that movie where Samuel L. Jackson wields golf clubs like katanas and a guy explodes because Sammy gave him something bad.
Also: The movie is about drugs, but I can't remember the name.
I don't know if that counts as a bad movie since it doesn't seem to be very well known, and, you know, only popular movies can be bad. But I usually don't watch those 'cause I'm too cool 4 school.

Another one that was hilariously bad in my opinion was Pretty Shitty City.
I knew it was bad, but I really enjoyed it at the same time.
Note: I'm speaking of the German dub, I don't how the original version is. They simply kept the word "Fuck" "Fucking" and the likes untranslated in the German dub which made it hilarious.

[G.I.R.]

Snakes on a Plane. I love that movie and it is ridiculously bad. But it did bring us one thing... "Snake-o-Vision" and... the subtly placed "Snake" buttons all over the place(like on the Microwave on the plane).

[Preturbed]

Waterworld is so bad that everyone who liked it also liked A.I. a little bit.

That's just how bad it was.

.... well shit. Yeah I did.

Also: Oh man, I liked the Spirit WAY more than I was legally allowed to.

[Hawk]

I liked Waterworld when I was a kid. I haven't seen it since then. But it can't be that bad.

I think it was one of the most expensive movies ever made, or at least it was at the time, then it bombed big at the box office. So yeah it was apparantly pretty bad.

I liked that movie where Samuel L. Jackson wields golf clubs like katanas and a guy explodes because Sammy gave him something bad.
Also: The movie is about drugs, but I can't remember the name.
I don't know if that counts as a bad movie since it doesn't seem to be very well known, and, you know, only popular movies can be bad. But I usually don't watch those 'cause I'm too cool 4 school.

51st State. Not sure if that's actually bad or not, I've only seen little bits of it.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

I think it was one of the most expensive movies ever made, or at least it was at the time, then it bombed big at the box office. So yeah it was apparantly pretty bad.



Yeah it was expensive as- it had to match the income of Jurassic Park (at the time the biggest grossing movie of all time) merely to break even.
Also it was ridiculously long, drawn out and tedious. It had good ideas but you had to sit htrough 3 hours of murk to see them.

[Osterbaum]

I think this wins the thread. I mean not only was this film bad it was ridiculously long so it can beat plenty of other bad films merely by length.
Never say never. That is to say, there are way worse movies that are likely to pop up in this thread.

And about Snakes on a Plane, I sort of thought they made the whole movie as a joke really. You know, it was supposed to be so bad that it would be funny.

[G.I.R.]

I liked that movie where Samuel L. Jackson wields golf clubs like katanas and a guy explodes because Sammy gave him something bad.
Also: The movie is about drugs, but I can't remember the name.
I don't know if that counts as a bad movie since it doesn't seem to be very well known, and, you know, only popular movies can be bad. But I usually don't watch those 'cause I'm too cool 4 school.


I think it was... Formula 51, if I recall correctly.

[Masked Jedi]

Also? I like Footloose. Pure terrible (except for John Lithgow), but just so fun.

[Meister]

They simply kept the word "Fuck" "Fucking" and the likes untranslated in the German dub which made it hilarious.
I think they did that in Blue Velvet. Presumably to different effect.

[Mirai Gen]

Oh.

Dude Where's My Car.

I get eyerolls every time I say it.

[Nique]

Hm, I'm gonna go with Super Mario Bros. and Daredevil.

[Masked Jedi]

Oh, Daredevil, totally. Though I will say that the acting is very solid. The movie itself sucks, but it has good acting.

[BitVyper]

Oh.

Dude Where's My Car.

I get eyerolls every time I say it.

Loved that movie.

[Mirai Gen]

Oh, Daredevil, totally. Though I will say that the acting is very solid.

http://pics.livejournal.com/miraigen/pic/000qqwz2

Um, that was seriously a combined effort of Jennifer Garner and Ben Afflek's worst acting. Like, their acting collectively tag-teamed you with awful.

Ben Afflek's worst acting.

[synkr0nized]

Oh.

Dude Where's My Car.

I get eyerolls every time I say it.

As you should, as you should.


I let myself enjoy Doom. I like Dwayne Johnson's performances. On a similar note, I also had a good time watching that one where he's a football player and his daughter moves in.

[Masked Jedi]

Hey, Ben Affleck is a rocking actor. And don't tell me you didn't love Colin Farrel.

[Toastburner B]

I let myself enjoy Doom. I like Dwayne Johnson's performances.

Now that you mention it, I liked Doom, too. Of course, I didn't play the games so I didn't have any nostalgia to get tarnished.

You know what else I liked: Reign of Fire.

Honestly, I'll be surprised if anyone else even remembers Reign of Fire, let alone anyone else liking it.