The Happening

[Inbred Chocobo]

Okay, so apparently me sister and me mother wanted to go down to the ole' movie theater and see this movie. Me being the boring lazy idiot was doing nothing and decided to go along with them to see this movie. Okay ready for a review? I'll sum it up in a single word.

Horrible.

Not enough words? Here is the review in two.

Horrible Funny.

Okay so the plot was mediocre. I mean it made sense but the acting (ArGH) was so horrible that you could not get into it at all. Expressions were exaggerated way to hard way too often, half the stuff they did just didn't make sense. To be fair, when the movie tried to have a funny part, it was successful. But when it went to being creepy or whatever it was trying to attempt, it fell flat on its face. Please don't see this movie. I think Zohan would be a better movie to see than this.

This spoiler box here contains spoilers and complaints about specific stuff.
Okay first off, half the suicides just didn't seem that scary at all. The guys going off the buildings were actually pretty funny for me at least. That kid's dad, who just leaves her to go look for his wife? Who the fuck does that! And the explanation for it all. Plants!?!? Bloody plants?!?!?!?! How the bloody hell are the guys on the news completely clueless but some retard joe with a greenhouse who has probably made out with a tree figures the whole thing out. And the crazy old woman near the end. No explanation why she is there, why she is crazy. And then she just dies from the stupid toxin.

[Rokrin]

I'm actually sorry to hear that, because Mark Wahlberg is one of my favorite actors.

Now I'll wait for it to go out on DVD, I guess.

[Kaneda]

But Shyamalan will make a good Avatar movie, right?




Right?



...

[Mike McC]

I read the script reveiw a couple of weeks ago.

Sad to hear that, yes, it is as stupid as it sounded.

M. Night probably should have taken the hint when every studio rejected his first draft of the script.

Oh well. The Incredible Hulk it is, then.

[Regulus Tera]

But Shyamalan will make a good Avatar movie, right?




Right?



...

Isn't that one called only The Last Airbender now? I thought there was some confrontation between him and Cameron's next project.

[Igbutton]

I enjoyed it. It was creepy and funny. Not at all what I expected it to be, which is nice when it seems you can predict how a movie going to turn out after the first 10 minutes in most cases.

[Lumenskir]

Damnit, I just got back from this and was going to make a thread called "Read The First Sentence To Spoil The Ending Of The Happening, A.K.A The Only Reason Anyone Even Remotely Wants To See It".

But yeah, congrats Shymalamadingdong, you made cunting Al Gore happy, and all it took was making the theater I was in severely peeved at how they spent their Friday movie-going. I could have fucking seen Kung Fu Panda again.

Also, what is up with setting the "It aint over yet y'all!!" part of horror movies in France? True, it's a non-representative sample that is made up solely of 28 Weeks Later and The Happening, but it's still a trend I suppose.

[Roy_D_Mylote]

Look, it had Zooey Deschanel in it, which is one of the tip-offs to badness. Why couldn't they have used her sister Emily? I mean it can't be looks, they look exactly the fucking same. E. Deschanel is a much better actress.

I mean did you even see Tin Man? Blech.

[Lumenskir]

Look, it had Zooey Deschanel in it, which is one of the tip-offs to badness.
That's a bit mean. I mean, it's like saying that the main reason to hate FATAL is the fact that it utilizes dice. A lot of the blame has to be fairly put upon the mediocre directing skills and terrible, terrible, terrible, godawful, wicked, vile, terrible, terrible, groin contractingly unreal, horrible, terrible, fucking wooden, terrible, terrible, terrible, rotten, ill, terrible, detestable, abominable, base, terrible, poor, substandard, wanting, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, wretched, punk, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, and terrible writing talents of M. Night ShimmyshimmyCocoPuffs.

Also, is Bones your standard of acting finesse or something?

[Odjn]

Look, it had Zooey Deschanel in it, which is one of the tip-offs to badness. Why couldn't they have used her sister Emily? I mean it can't be looks, they look exactly the fucking same. E. Deschanel is a much better actress.

I mean did you even see Tin Man? Blech.

She wasn't bad in Manic.

Although that goth chick Sarah Rivas or whatever was hotter and better.

[grthwllms]

M. Night ShimmyshimmyCocoPuffs.




This made my day.

[pirostyle]

I thought the movie was pretty good. Can't believe none of those kids noticed the quote on the chalkboard. It was RIGHT THERE.
The suicides in the street were TOTALLY off.

When a gun fires a bullet, there is a blast of heat at the tip of the gun. This causes a burn where the bullet hits. That and the bullet holes were too small.
I know I shouldn't be so mad about this, but it's just an ignored detail that ruined part of the movie for me.

[LeefRyder]

Your spoiler didn't even include one of the most important points!!! Does Mark Wahlberg take off his shirt or not? Anyway, I like watching M's movies even if they tend to be a bit on the crap side, because at least its something DIFFERENT. I will still go see this despite the horrible reviews.

[Lumenskir]

Anyway, I like watching M's movies even if they tend to be a bit on the crap side, because at least its something DIFFERENT.
But, for the most part, they're not. He's a sub-Hitchockian, 50's movie-maker stuck in the wrong century. I mean, the big, emotional, potentially marriage breaking act that's committed? His wife was having coffee with someone who wasn't her husband! That's just not an attitude that's feasible in this decade.

[Aerozord]

I think the bigger problem is the fact the twist is so common place its now expected. Granted he does it better then most and I do enjoy that moment you see it even if I expected it. Its hard to do something good and original now-a-days. The licence attatched to a movie or its special effects budget has more to do with success then good writing. I get what Leef is talking about, all movies are basically exactly the same just with different names.

I dont know about you but most movies I know the entire story within about five minutes. Atleast with his twists I actually have to pay attention slightly longer then normal, although if thats the only draw then it isn't much of an alternative

[Mirai Gen]

I always liked calling him "M. Night Shamaramadingdong" myself.

[LeefRyder]

But, for the most part, they're not. He's a sub-Hitchockian, 50's movie-maker stuck in the wrong century. I mean, the big, emotional, potentially marriage breaking act that's committed? His wife was having coffee with someone who wasn't her husband! That's just not an attitude that's feasible in this decade.

Depends on the context, but I haven't seen the movie yet so I can't really say. However you'd be surprised how some people view outings with the opposite sex that isn't strictly business. Having coffee with a friend does sound innocent enough, but if its a friend I'd like to sleep with that'd certainly change the context quite a bit. If they were strictly platonic and meeting for totally innocent reasons, its still not wholly unheard of that someone's wife/husband got the wrong idea from something like that.

As for his movies being "sub-hitchockian" all I can say to that is, its better than some of the other garbage being churned out these days, but I see what you're saying there.

[Mirai Gen]

But you can't really deny that most of his movies are pretty awful.

Signs was okay throughout most of the movie, but the entire plot took a backseat to the message he was trying to convey, which meant that instead of following logic you ended up with a non-ending, where the baseball bat gets swung around spraying water all over the aliens and then he's got his priest's robes again and that's the end. Yes, aliens have invaded, but we ran out of time and since it means nothing in context of this movie let's just leave you with something to think about instead of any plot resolution. The last fifteen minutes of Signs felt like Monty Python and the Holy Grail, where I was fast-fowarding thinking that the ending took place after the credits or something.

That's not even talking about the fact that aliens in his world whom came from super-advanced spaceships to land on our earth walk around butt-naked when liquid that covers 70% of the planet's surface is like acid to them.

I don't know how M Night manages to keep making movies, because his aren't even entertaining in a Street Fighter: The Movie sort of way.

[Aerozord]

Lets be honest here, pretty much every movie involving an alien invasion, said aliens are retarded. Water is like acid to us, so lets invade a planet covered by it. Hey how about we walk around unprotected before finding out if its safe to be in their air. Or better yet, we have mastered interstellar travel but lack the ability of planetary bombardment so we rely on ground troops. Independence Day had one of the best though. "See so now all of our ships, from the mothership down to our little fighters are all on the exact same network! ...huh, anti-virus software? firewalls? oh come on like we'd ever need those."

[Seil]

That's a bit mean. I mean, it's like saying that the main reason to hate FATAL is the fact that it utilizes dice. A lot of the blame has to be fairly put upon the mediocre directing skills and terrible, terrible, terrible, godawful, wicked, vile, terrible, terrible, groin contractingly unreal, horrible, terrible, fucking wooden, terrible, terrible, terrible, rotten, ill, terrible, detestable, abominable, base, terrible, poor, substandard, wanting, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, wretched, punk, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, and terrible writing talents of M. Night ShimmyshimmyCocoPuffs.

Unbreakable was awesome and is in my top 5 movies of all time.

[Mirai Gen]

Lets be honest here, pretty much every movie involving an alien invasion, said aliens are retarded. Water is like acid to us, so lets invade a planet covered by it. Hey how about we walk around unprotected before finding out if its safe to be in their air. Or better yet, we have mastered interstellar travel but lack the ability of planetary bombardment so we rely on ground troops. Independence Day had one of the best though. "See so now all of our ships, from the mothership down to our little fighters are all on the exact same network! ...huh, anti-virus software? firewalls? oh come on like we'd ever need those."

I'm not going to give M Night credit for sticking to this formulae.

But, yes.

[Tev]

Unbreakable was awesome and is in my top 5 movies of all time.I also liked Unbreakable, and Lady in the Water was a nice movie as well. I was so pissed at his first few attempts at shitty monsters (water melting aliens, crazy 18th century villagers in twig suits) that I was actually rather pleased to see the mossy covered dire-wolves rampaging through the apartment complex. Some of the twists in figuring out which person fit their place in the story was fun too. But really other than those two movies.....and I think maybe Sixth Sense, he has really done nothing other than consistently piss me off.