If You Owned Your Own TV Station, What Would You Air?

[Seil]

For serious - if you didn't have to worry about rights, money or whatever, what would you air? Keep in mind that you have to follow some of the rules, such as no nudity, swearing, etc, during daylight hours, no excessive violence or hatred. The usual stuff.

TELEVISION SHOWS

Morning
The Old Sesame Street
The Old Power Rangers
Mr. Dressup
Inspector Gadget
Pokemon
Fairy Odd Parents
Beast Wars
Transformers

Afternoon
King of Queens
Seinfeld
The Simpsons
Cheers
Jekyll
Witch Hunter Robin
Myth Busters

Evening
Family Guy
The Simpsons
Futurama
Jekyll
Monty Python
The Clerks Cartoon

Late Night
Everything that's on the morning list, only in Spanish. And Porn.

Movies

Anything by Kevin Smith
Any Hannibal Movie
Any James Bond Movie
Any of the Godfather Movies
Anything by Pixar
Anything by Quentin Tarantino
Anything that was based on Stan Lee's works

Fight Club
Unbreakable
Lucky Number Slevin
Stranger Than Fiction
Office Space
Sin City
Secret Window
Imagine Me And You
V For Vendetta
The Pursuit Of Happyness
Man On Fire
Romeo And Juliet
Moulin Rouge
Somkin' Aces

[Meister]

Documentaries. Loads of documentaries. Especially about food. Mythbusters and Anthony Bourdain's show, can't recall the name, would be on heavy rotation.

I'd air a lot of movies, but I'd dedicate one day per week especially to very awesome movies. Think along the lines of Tom Yum Goong.

The single most important thing, though, is the random bizarre stuff I'd air during the night. If you're familiar with David Firth's cartoons (www.fat-pie.com), that's the kind of stuff you'd find here. No explanations, no introductions, just straight up one weird cartoon or show after the other. I want a station that can surprise me, dammit!

[Katuko]

I think I would just get all the funny shit I find on the internet and air that. :D

[Mac]

Considering up here in Canada we have no Anime Network, I would start up one of those.

The kicker, i'd procure all the uncensored stuff.

[Seil]

If you're familiar with David Firth's cartoons,

....(>>)

I find David Firth to be a tad tasteless and unconventional.

[Meister]

You have defined the reason I would air it.

[Wyndon]

Morning:
Scrubs
Scrub
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs

Afternoon:
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs

Evening:
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs

LATE NIGHT:
Robot Chicken
Family Guy
Invader Zim
SCRUBS
SCRUBS!

[Mac]

Morning:
Scrubs
Scrub
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs

Afternoon:
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs

Evening:
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs
Scrubs

LATE NIGHT:
Robot Chicken
Family Guy
Invader Zim
SCRUBS
SCRUBS!

So, you like Scrubs or something?

[Mike McC]

LATE NIGHT:
Robot Chicken
Family GuyWay to fuck up an otherwise decent schedule.

Anyway, if it were me, I'd want two. One would be entirely for sitcoms, with a lot of variety in the ones it shows, especially late at night (Fuck you, TV Land!). I'd compile a list, but it'd be massive. Lets just say that there's a lot of them. Pleanty of Britcoms too. Might throw in a kid's block with classics such as The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Salute Your Shorts, and the other classic kid sitcoms.

The second channel would be more for the one-hour drama/etc format shows. A lot of more short-run culty ones (like Firefly, Wonderfalls, Adventures of Brisco County Jr., Twin Peaks) would be in rotation, as well as other longer run series (like The X-Files, Northern Exposure, Farscape, Picket Fences, etc.). Perhaps slip some classic Doctor Who and Twilight Zone in there. Again, perhaps a kids block, this time with shows like Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, Eerie Indiana, The Tomorrow People, and the other awesome kid-focused dramas of yore.

And no original programming! Because 99% of the time with 'rerun' networks, original programming blows. Fuck you, TV Land and Nick@Nite. And no 'back to back episodes' or marathons or crap, because that's just annoying if you don't want to watch that show. Pretty much, it'll be rerun variety 24/7.

[Wyndon]

So, you like Scrubs or something?

...What the fuck is Scrubs?

[Darth SS]

...What the fuck is Scrubs?

Go and whip yourself in penance for that blasphemous statement.


I'd probably have a really geeky channel. Lots of stuff from Discovery interspersed with various sitcoms and maybe some Just For Laughs.

[The Argent Lord]

Go and whip yourself in penance for that blasphemous statement.
You... missed his list, didn't you?

[Mike McC]

Actually, with Digital broadcasts, I could have multiple channels on the same station. So, I'd have one for sitcoms, one for dramas, one for cartoons, and perhaps one or two formats slipped in there.

I'd embrace the new technology.

[Lightnix]

In no particular order and at no particular times ('cause that's how a station like mine would roll):
Red Dwarf
Simpsons
Futurama
Red Dwarf
Family Guy
Metalocalypse
A youtube video found with some kind of random youtube URL predictor algorithm.
Red Dwarf
Some kind of parody news channel.
Edit: Also possibly monkey dust.
Edit again: Oh, and that episode of Red Dwarf where Lister forgets who he is.
Edit again again: Right, forgot Blackadder, how foolish of me.

[Satan's Onion]

The prominent placement of Red Dwarf in your hypothetical lineup pleases me. It would be prominent in my own as well, along with Blackadder, Monty Python's Flying Circus, the Jeeves and Wooster series with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, Mystery Science Theater 3000 (you did say "if rights didn't matter", yes? 'Cos if I'm showing MST3K, rights suddenly become very important), The Avengers (Mrs. Gale and Mrs. Peel are so very awesome), classic Doctor Who (everything from Hartnell to McCoy, and even the TV Movie with Paul McGann), and a lot of documentaries and science shows. Also I'd air any anime series that took my fancy, and old Ren and Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life, Aaahh! Real Monsters, The Angry Beavers, Invader Zim, Freakazoid!, The Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, the Earthworm Jim animated series, and a whole bunch of other stuff I haven't recalled now, but I'm sure I will later, so I'll add it then.

[Demetrius]

Why are you people listing Family Guy? That it sees airtime on several stations at the moment is quite enough. Please turn your attention to shows not full of suck.

I'd want me some Conan the Barbarian and Thundercats... HooOOOO!

And instead of commercials I'd play Sealab 2021, and Venture Brothers. To get more Venture Brothers I would use the stations resources to purchase a time machine and venture into the future or an alternate dimension for more.

[Fifthfiend]

I would create a network solely comprising children's action cartoons with long-term story arcs which were never concluded for which I would finance the production of additional episodes so that each series could reach its conclusion.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

I would create a network solely comprising children's action cartoons with long-term story arcs which were never concluded for which I would finance the production of additional episodes so that each series could reach its conclusion.

But you just know they would all get the 21st century overhaul and filled with rappers and mad stylez.

[Lumenskir]

And no original programming! Because 99% of the time with 'rerun' networks, original programming blows.
I don't think it's that high. I'd say the quality/shit ratio is about equal to any other channel's output. FX, HBO, Showtime, AMC all have pretty great original shows mixed into their re-run heavy lineup.

I read an article a little bit ago about 'fixing' the Sci-Fi channel, and the thing that grabbed me most was the suggestion of appealing to a number of renowned writers (Gaiman, Bendis, others I've forgotten or didn't know to begin with) and giving them free reign to design an original movie serial/new series. I'd probably do something similiar with my channel, except I'd give more attention to show creators that have been chewed up and shat on already (Your Whedons, Hurwitzs, Feigs, Fullers, and such) while promising complete creative freedom. I figure their spirits are broken enough to be gotten at discount prices.

[Aerozord]

I would air all the awesome that has since vanished from TV
Megas XLR
Beast Wars
Outlaw Star
I'd add Samurai Jack but they finally stopped being retarded and did bring it back. You know what, screw it every station should have this show.

Invader Zim gets new episodes, and you know what else, I let its manic goth hating psyco writer loose and let him turn it into whatever nightmare spawned twisted reality he likes. Because I find dark humor entertaining. Long as atleast one episode has a tickle me hellmo.

Finally some good old nostalgia
G-1 Transformers
Original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Earthworm Jim

Finally an hour block of the good internet flash movies... I worry we will run out quickly though

[Mirai Gen]

Beast Wars
Transformers
Throw on Transformers Animated and you'd have Viewer #1 right here, alone. That's not even counting the rest of the awesome list.

Seriously enough of this G4 shit. Why don't they just make a Nerd Station, and have it play 24-7 Monty Python, Transformers and He-Man style cartoons, and movies like Gamers and Fanboys?

[Kerensky287]

I second Beast Wars, G1 Transformers and Earthworm Jim. I also submit the old Battletech (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqzEssjkMeU) series, in case any of you remember it. SO BAD IT'S GOOD. Also, Billy and Mandy, Freakazoid, and Thunderbirds... which concludes the children's lineup.

Then South Park, Simpsons, Robot Chicken and Family Guy later on, for the people who like those kinds of shows (like me, shut up all of you)...

And then the Scrubs/House hour...

The Seinfeld Hour...

And, I dunno, throw in a couple of linked webisodes of the best online shows. Red Vs Blue episodes, followed by Pure Pwnage episodes, followed by Yugioh TAS episodes, and that's all I can think at this point.

[The Wandering God]

22 posts and no one has mentioned UHF yet?

For shame.

In any case:

Cartoons:
Avatar: TLA
Samurai Jack
Invader Zim
South Park
The Tick


Live Action TV:
Mystery Science Theatre 3000
M*A*S*H the Movie and also the TV series. (Which haven't gotten any less relevant in the last 30 years.)
Ace of Cakes

Movies:
Ghostbusters
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
UHF
The Incredibles

Those aren't in any particular order either.

The Wandering God

[Blues]

The Let's Watch Blues Play Nintendo Show.

[Mike McC]

I don't think it's that high. I'd say the quality/shit ratio is about equal to any other channel's output. FX, HBO, Showtime, AMC all have pretty great original shows mixed into their re-run heavy lineup.I'm talking about networks that focus enbtirely on airing reruns. Or at least, was thier original mode of operation. FX has always had it's own original shows. HBO, Showtime, and AMC are movie channels, and thus a bit different. I'm talking about stuff like the crap TV Land puts out. And Nick@Nite.

[Aerozord]

22 posts and no one has mentioned UHF yet?

For shame.

In any case:

Cartoons:
Avatar: TLA
Samurai Jack
Invader Zim
South Park
The Tick


I FORGOT THE TICK?


How could I forget the Tick, that show was so awesome its hard to understand how it could be condenced far enough to allow it to exist in our reality. But they found a way

[Lord of Joshelplex]

Basically, Id air Waterworld and Mad Max Trilogy all the time, except for when it airs Law and Order, and The IT Crowd and the Office.

[CelesJessa]

Invader Zim
The Tick
Animaniacs
The Legend of Zelda (cartoon)
The Super Mario Supershow
Darkwing Duck
Fairly Oddparents
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Ultimate Ninja
MXC
Mystery Science Theater 3000
South Park
Fullmetal Alchemist (Movie included)
Mythbusters
How It's Made
Old Disney Classics (Movies)


Everything else would just be gameshows. (good ones, especially some of the older ones)

[Fifthfiend]

But you just know they would all get the 21st century overhaul and filled with rappers and mad stylez.

Like I said I would be producing it so none of that shit whatsoever. It's semianatomical and painfully wooden animation all the way baby, and the only rap getting goddamn near any of it is the kind we had in the 80's, back when we called it Hip Hop like you know it should be.

EDIT Now that's what I'm goddamn (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLKYOSiW7U4) talking about, right there.

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

Like I said I would be producing it so none of that shit whatsoever. It's semianatomical and painfully wooden animation all the way baby, and the only rap getting goddamn near any of it is the kind we had in the 80's, back when we called it Hip Hop like you know it should be.

EDIT Now that's what I'm goddamn (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLKYOSiW7U4) talking about, right there.

As long as they got their clothes on backwards I'm happy. Even their clothes are rebel.

[Magus]

The problem with my idea for the best TV station is it would merely be a synthesis of Spike TV and part of TV Land with all the crap I don't like filtered out, so I don't know what I can add to this discussion. Basically it would be episodes of The A-Team, MacGyver, Highlander, Miami Vice, and I guess Star Trek (but not anything beyond The Next Generation because, I mean, seriously. I don't really care for Star Trek but I can at least stand the adventures of Picard) along with various other shows, and then for cartoons I guess I would capture the ones from my youth like Beast Wars and Mega Man. Movies would probably be various selections from the four big trilogies (Dollars, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Lord of the Rings). Maybe some new Star Wars trilogy once a year or something. Also various action movies like Desperado, The Boondock Saints, and Reservoir Dogs. Nothing fancy.

No Scrubs, though, since I think the majority of people haven't been lobotomized and so I just don't think it would be cost-effective to feature such an idiotic, humorless show.

[pirostyle]

lets see... anime, lots and lots of anime

death note
family guy
robot chicken
simpsons
8 bit theater (soon as they get the vids ready)
naruto (maybe, maybe not, its popular so it depends)
bleach
chobits
negimai (once its out in english)


and some other stuff ill edit in later

[The Mirror Emperor]

My TV Station would be almost like MTV. .......only I'd air music. Not the kind of music where a ditzy blonde girl in her teens dances around on stage and sings about having a dual life, or a ruffian busting out his chops in near indecipherable stanzas, but music people would actually enjoy. And unlike TRL, where it says "Total Request Live" but you don't request half the crap they put on there, videos/music would be put on by request, first come first serve.

If time permits, I'd also air cult classic movies such as Fight Club, The Boondock Saints, The Crow, and I'm still thinking about The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And then, in the late hours of the evening, I'll run cartoons such as Invader Zim, Family Guy, Robot Chicken, Simpsons, Homestar Runner (pending approval from The Brother Chaps), various animes that would air depending on what day of the week it was...stuff like that.