Spartans! Prepare for Glory! (Now on DVD!)

[Zoran]

Well I heard the Movie 300 DVD is out, might try to get a friend to bring it to me so I can watch spartans kill many persians and soon to be shot down by -counts- 6049 arrows!

What did you think of the movie and are you going to get the DVD?

[Preturbed]

The plot was about as good as Doom's (the game not the movie), but the action and breasticles more than made up for it. I don't think I've ever seen a movie that was more testosterone-driven that wasn't a porno. I won't buy the DVD because I have other people to do that for me.

[Mirai Gen]

99% pure Man.

The 1% belongs to the awesome titties of Queen Gorgo.

That's still a 100% movie of "rule."

[Tyrazial]

The plot was about as good as Doom's

You are aware that the "plot" was a historic battle, right?

Besides, how can you not love a movie where the main character that has a cheese wedge goatee that moves when he speaks. Most goatees don't move a whole lot when you speak, at least mine doesn't. But his. It was like an extra three inch extension to his chin.

[Zoran]

And now we begin what every 300 thread does, Jugdeing the spartans appearances! Woo!

[Melfice]

I left that theatre 300 % more man!
In fact, I mangled a helpless, defenceless puppy to prove it!

But seriously, it was a very interesting film.
If I see it, I might actually buy it on DVD.

[Zilla]

I saw it, it had some cool parts, but if I didn't like what was going on, I'd turn back to my PC and do some work on fixing it until it got interesting again.

Really, the best part about it is all the internet jokes that sprung from it. XD

[Zoran]

Really, the best part about it is all the internet jokes that sprung from it. XD


Ugh the jokes....

[Aerozord]

I saw it, it had some cool parts, but if I didn't like what was going on, I'd turn back to my PC and do some work on fixing it until it got interesting again.

Really, the best part about it is all the internet jokes that sprung from it. XD
perhaps but I think a penis is a prerequisite to liking this movie. So your not really qualified :p

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

My flatmate has it on his computer and made me watch it. I managed about 30 minutes before storming out.
Not only was it a boring movie anyway, the historical inaccuracies were mind-blowing. Troy was closer to its source and that's saying a lot.

[Demetrius]

Dude, its a Frank Miller comic book gone movie! The shots are bluntastic, the people are beautiful and the battles epic! What in the seven hells makes you think that this was meant to be historically accurate!? Its a pure testosterone driven kill and sex fest; how can a man ask for more?

You shame the beard upon your face! :p

[Preturbed]

You are aware that the "plot" was a historic battle, right?

Besides, how can you not love a movie where the main character that has a cheese wedge goatee that moves when he speaks. Most goatees don't move a whole lot when you speak, at least mine doesn't. But his. It was like an extra three inch extension to his chin.

No no, the plot was (see above post) a horribly mangled version which seems to believe Cave Trolls were still around for the Persians to enslave. And I never said I didn't love it, just that the plot was weak.

As basic as it gets:

10 Bow to me.
20 THIS IS SPARTA!
30 Epic Battle
40 Goto 10

[Lumenskir]

The movie would have been about 300 times better if they cut out every scene where the main character's wife hadn't been naked. She had bomb titties to be sure, but the 45 minutes of eternity where all she did was not be the Battle of Thermopylae sucked a lot of the momentum out of the experience.

[Zoran]

the historical inaccuracies were mind-blowing. Troy was closer to its source and that's saying a lot.

The movie was based off a comic book. Blame the comic book for that not the movie.

[Preturbed]

The movie was based off a comic book. Blame the comic book for that not the movie.

Ok, I blame the comic. That doesn't make his point any less valid.

[Zoran]

Not alot of people want to watch a history channel movie on exact details on what the spartans did.

People saw a movie that makes you go "Yea get some" and so they liked it, they don't want a history lesson lol.

[Arlia Janet]

Who goes to see 300 because of its plot? That's like taking your puritan great grandmother to see Grindhouse. The plot in 300's case was a necessary evil because the movie was supposed to be an over-the-top, ridiculous experience.

I saw it because I love Frank Miller's art. His use of colors, direction and overall mood is top-notch. The movie did a good job to keep up with the comic's style. Eyegasm!

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

But if you are not going to be even remotely historical (except maybe there was some spartans there and some persians) then why not just make up your own story?
I've talked to people who while acknowledging it is mostly fiction still believe too many details of that crap-fest actually happened. It harms historical consciousness.
And the real story was even more dramatic. Go read Herodotus, you'll be glad.
Even aside from that it was simply boring.
And despite me having a gigantic beard (well I did when I saw it) the beard provided enough testorone that if I got too excited I would perish anyway. Thus I saved my own life and that of my beard rather than putting it to shame.

[Zoran]

Even aside from that it was simply boring.

Player hater.

[Aerozord]

yea, its not historically accurate, there weren't 20,000 persians







there were 200,000
You dont need to write fiction. Historically accurate spartans are still atleast 5 levels of awesome

[Seil]

The movie 300 was based off of a comic book. The comic book was based on the battle of Termopylae. Frank Miller stated that he wrote the book the way he did because it was a way of story-telling. Fisherman are famous for this story - "The one that got away."

Frank Miller's 300 is after the battle - it's a story told by the Spartans. With any historical story told by the victors of
said battles, their version gets bigger and more elaborate, until it's historical fantasy. A man might've killed ten men - but the way he tells the story, it sounds like fifty, all bearing down upon him until he fights himself out, all alone and without a scratch on him

That's the kind of story telling Frank Miller was trying to achieve.

Wikipedia's version of the battle of Thermopylae (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Thermopylae)
Wikipedia's version of the 300 Comic Book Series (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/300_%28comics%29)
Wikipedia's version of the 300 movie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/300_%28film%29)

---------------

That being said, I loved the movie, and Imma pick it up ASAP

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

200,000 Persians? Maybe in total and that's only the highest estimate. And most of them weren't at Thermopolaye. And lots of those who were weren't deployed.
And my problem really was never with the scale. It was with the ludicrous anachronisms and complete disregard for anything remotely based on historical accounts of the battle or what we know about culture/ military at thte time.
Just read Herodotus Book VII. It's on the internet and will sort you out. Well not really. Herodotus is horribly inaccurate as an author but he is a good start and an excellent read.

But it's not really important.
As was stated above the movie just repeats the same few scenes over and over again. And the Persians weren't scary enough!

[Melfice]

For complete accuracy, here's the true order. "=>" means "is based on"

300 (film) => 300 (comic) => The 300 Spartans (movie) => Tellings and stories of the Battle of Thermopylae by (various) storytellers.

Also:

300's director Zack Snyder stated in an MTV interview that "The events are 90 percent accurate. It's just in the visualization that it's crazy.... I've shown this movie to world-class historians who have said it's amazing. They can't believe it's as accurate as it is." He continues that the film is "an opera, not a documentary. That's what I say when people say it's historically inaccurate".[30] However he is quoted in a BBC News story that the film is, at its core "a fantasy film."[31] He also describes the film's narrator, Dilios, as "a guy who knows how not to wreck a good story with truth."[9]

[Zoran]

Primary sources

Xerxes I, King of Persia, had been preparing for years to continue the Greco-Persian Wars started by his father Darius I. In 481 BC, after four years of preparation, the Persian army and navy arrived in Asia Minor. A bridge of ships had been made at Abydos. This allowed the land forces to cross the Hellespont. Herodotus of Halicarnassus, who wrote the first history of this war, gave the size of Xerxes' army as follows:

{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}

Units Numbers
------------------
Fleet crew 517,610
Infantry 1,700,000[52]
Cavalry 80,000[53]
Arabs and Libyans 20,000[54]
Greek troops allied with Persians 324,000
Total 2,641,610


{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}-{~}

This is the account for the land armies present at Thermopylae. Regarding the total number of forces Xerxes I of Persia assembled to invade Greece (land army, fleet crew, etc.), this number is doubled in order to account for support troops and thus Herodotus reports that the total Persian force numbered 5,283,220 men, a figure which is regarded as erroneous by modern estimations.


I shit you not.

[Bells]

The movie 300 is simply that one batlle being TOLD by a Spartan right before a EVEN BIGGER battle

under that note, if Spartans could fly on that movie, it would still be Ok...

Really, if 300 of my friends had a huge battle against a bunch of crazy folks, i would surely "amplify" that story a bit to give nice moral booster to the rest of the guys before the even bigger battle that we're going to have on the next few minutes

[Ryanderman]

When I first watched the movies, I figured the movie was being told from the Spartan's point of view. So the monsters in the Persian army were just exaggerations of reality that fit the Spartan's viewpoint. The deformed Spartan was overly disgusting, because that would be how the Spartans, obsessed with genetic purity & physical prowess, would view someone with even relatively minor deformities.

Then, when I saw the end and realized that is was all a story being told before another battle, I realized I was more right than I'd thought. The monsters & such were the way they appeared, because that's how Dilios saw them & described them.

[Aerozord]

200,000 Persians? Maybe in total and that's only the highest estimate. And most of them weren't at Thermopolaye. And lots of those who were weren't deployed.

yes, 200,000. And they were all deployed. The point of the battle wasn't to capture the pass, it was just a stretch of road, battle was about getting through it. Besides whats so hard to believe about the number, area they were fighting in only allowed about 20 at a time. It was the whole reason the Spartans choose to fight there


But it's not really important.
As was stated above the movie just repeats the same few scenes over and over again. And the Persians weren't scary enough!
Why should they be? Your talking about historical accuracy and expect them to be scary? They are normal humans that simply get their butts kicked for days. Untill that final day the persians lost hundreds, spartans loss only a few soldiers.

and although this might ruin it for some people. Historically the spartans also had Athenian allies, 1000 if I'm not mistaken.

[DFM]

It was a lot more than that, if I remember correctly. I've got to say I can't even begin to comprehend the arguments about the movie being unrealistic. Seriously.

"Persians didn't have grenades or cave trolls and Xerxes was never there in person this is not a realistic depiction of the events I have been horribly mislead. And they hardly fight in a Phalanx at all, this is a terrible documentary and reenactment."

[Melfice]

I agree.
I mean... Frank GODDAMN Miller.

You knew what you were going to watch.

And people who didn't know Frank GODDAMN Miller went to see the movie, because it was looking bad arse.

[Ugainius]

Historically the spartans also had Athenian allies, 1000 if I'm not mistaken.

There was another 1000 soliders that weren't Spartan. But they weren't Athenian either.

[Aerozord]

really? what were they? I suck at remembering names.

[Melfice]

There were Spartans, Athenians, Thespians, Thebans, Phocians and Locrians.
Most likely more, but those were the only ones I could so hastily find.

[Aerozord]

I was speaking specifically of the final day, after most retreated.

[Melfice]

Ah, that would have been the Spartans and Thespians, also Laconians I think.
There were also Thebans, but they mostly deserted to the Persian ranks.

I think that's what I read.

[Hawk]

Yes I believe there were 700 Thesbians and the 300 Spartans, 1000 men in total, at least by the end.

And I really don't know why people keep arguing over things like the numbers Xerxes had, the whole POINT of the battle was that he simply couldn't use them, his numbers ment nothing. There was literally enough room for a dozen, maybe two dozen men to fight at any one time. It doesn't matter how many men Xerxes had, it could have been 20,000, it could have been a million, the point was the Spartans turned those numbers into moot trivialities.

Fact of the matter is, the few stood against overwhelming odds, not aiming to win, drive back, or even survive, but simply because they had to make a stand, enough so that they repelled every wave of enemy that came at them for days and thus buy time for the rest of greece to assemble its forces. The Spartans didn't win the battle, but they didn't set out to, and in fact they did something even greater than simply destroying an army; the completely crushed its entire morale.

I think the movie portrays this pretty damn well all told. Sure it's over the top, sure it's full of exagerations and fantasy fluff, but who gives a damn? It still tells the story of the 300 brilliantly.

[Aerozord]

I think the movie portrays this pretty damn well all told. Sure it's over the top, sure it's full of exagerations and fantasy fluff, but who gives a damn?

this guy
My flatmate has it on his computer and made me watch it. I managed about 30 minutes before storming out.
Not only was it a boring movie anyway, the historical inaccuracies were mind-blowing. Troy was closer to its source and that's saying a lot.

[DFM]

I am enraged at the historical flaws in this cinematic work and quite dismayed that an entire production company could get their facts so wrong, did none of them read Herodotus Book VII?

[Melfice]

Whoa... that's a complete 720 there. XD

It can only be sarcasm.

[Zoran]

I wonder why everyone must argue over if the movie historical accuracy. We should be talking about "Is it good?" or "Why does it suck so much?"

Your all acting like a bunch of professors argueing

[Bells]

Also... actually... anyone here saying that "there WERE X many warriors" there is wrong... because really... we can get around a certain number, but wont ever be able to pin it down precisly what and who was there...

Damn it, maybe there was a Mongolian rank fighting together with the Spartans and we dont know... who can know?

Point in question: In a Age of CG 300 looks beautifull!

[DFM]

It was good even though the first battle with the Immortals played out like someone blew an orgasmic load of slow-mo all over the screen.

I'm not really sure what that means but I'm saying that there was too much slow-mo in that scene.

*Puffs Professor Pipe*

[The Wizard Who Did It]

Reading this discussion depresses me, if only because it was obvious the movie wasn't trying to be 100% accurate. It was obvious the movie was making stylistic choices. I mean, you can't really fault a movie for doing what it was trying to do.

Also, I probably won't get the DVD, but my dad will being the movie nut he is.

[DFM]

I find it hard to believe that Leonidas's beard grew out and strangled one thousand men of it's own accord, since we have zero evidence on the historical record that even alludes to such an event. Doctor Miller really dropped the ball with his fact checking on this one. It's too bad 300 doesn't live up to the gritty, hard hitting accuracy of Sin City, his popular documentary on urban crime.

*puffs internet historian's pipe*

[Seil]

In the Battle of Thermopylae of 480 BC, an alliance of Greek city-states fought the invading Persian Empire at the pass of Thermopylae in central Greece. Vastly outnumbered, the Greeks held back the Persians for three days in one of history's most famous last stands. A small force led by King Leonidas of Sparta blocked the only road through which the massive army of Xerxes I of Persia (Xerxes the Great) could pass. After three days of battle, a local resident named Ephialtes betrayed the Greeks by revealing a mountain path that led behind the Greek lines. Dismissing the rest of the army, King Leonidas stayed behind with 300 Spartans and 700 Thespian volunteers. The Persians succeeded in taking the pass but sustained heavy losses, extremely disproportionate to those of the Greeks. The fierce resistance of the Spartan-led army offered Athens the invaluable time to prepare for a decisive naval battle that would come to determine the outcome of the war.[3] The subsequent Greek victory at the Battle of Salamis left much of the Persian Empire's navy destroyed and Xerxes was forced to retreat back to Asia, leaving his army in Greece under Mardonius, who was to meet the Greeks in battle one last time. The Spartans assembled at full strength and led a pan-Greek army that defeated the Persians decisively at the Battle of Plataea, ending the Greco-Persian War and with it the expansion of the Persian Empire into Europe.[4]

The performance of the defenders at the battle of Thermopylae is often used as an example of the advantages of training, equipment, and good use of terrain to maximize an army's potential,[5] and has become a symbol of courage against overwhelming odds.[5] Even more, both ancient and modern writers used the Battle of Thermopylae as an example of the superior power of a well trained army defending native soil.

There is also a large political significance of the Battle of Thermopylae, in that it was the first defining moment in which the disunified Greek city states came together to form a significant alliance. It also possibly signified the beginning of the end for the Persian empire - drawing strength from the Battle, the Greeks began forming assaults against the Persian Empire, as a national body rather than small city states.

Bleahrahg.

[Zilla]

perhaps but I think a penis is a prerequisite to liking this movie. So your not really qualified :p

DFM could I borrow something for a few hours?

I actually liked the plot. The whole thing about standing up for yourself, not submitting to tyranny, and all the rhetoric that Americans tend to ignore these days.

[Fifthfiend]

I was really disappointed by how gay it was.

I mean it was pretty gay, but come on that movie should have been a whole lot more gay.

I mean they could have at least thrown in for a couple of dozen prepubscent boys to oil up the Six Hundred Spartan Man-Nipples before they went off to swing their spears around.

And I mean come on, as long as they're going to make Leonidas and Xerxes' passionate man-love the dramatic subtext of the entire story, they could at least have had like, one scene of the two of them fucking.

[Demetrius]

I thank Frank Miller everyday of my life that there was no such scene. The man nipples, impossible 6-packs and rippling capes were about as much as I could deal with.

[Fifthfiend]

And that's another thing, where were all the cocks? Come on the graphic novel was one big cock-parade, now all of a sudden we've got red Underoos keeping the Three Hundred Wing-Wongs from swinging free as God intended?

Way to go, Frank Miller. Way to go sell the fuck out.

[Demetrius]

I got enough of running cocks in Sideways, GO RATINGS BOARD!!*





*That is probably the only time you'll see me saying that.

[Zoran]

I am fueled with so much rage that my life on this earth probably shortened.

[DFM]

That's another thing Dr. Miller portrayed incorrectly. Historically the Spartans not only wore no armor or clothing to hide their shame, but actually slew many of their enemies with their cocks, either as spears or as crude bludgeoning instruments.

For shame, Dr. Miller. For shame.

[Arlia Janet]

I was really disappointed by how gay it was.

I don't see what you mean. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=pi2t58CRmbU)

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

But my point is still there, why piggyback of a historical event if you are not going to pay any attention to it whatsoever?
Why not just create a new story that could be more exciting?
It's a blight on society!
Someone before said it did a good job of portraying the battle which is precisely my point! It doesn't at all but people think it does!

[Aerozord]

That's another thing Dr. Miller portrayed incorrectly. Historically the Spartans not only wore no armor or clothing to hide their shame, but actually slew many of their enemies with their cocks, either as spears or as crude bludgeoning instruments.

For shame, Dr. Miller. For shame.
or crushing them with the weight of their giant balls

[Smarty McBarrelpants]

Their sheer testorone would have slaughtered them before they even got close.

[Seil]

Didn't Fifth declare this forum a "cocks free zone" in another thread?

[Xaeta]

my friend called me on the phone and yelled "THIS IS SPARTA~!"

knowing what he meant I immediately ran to secure a copy only to find that they were gone and had to restock over the weekend. I get to pick up my copy on Thursday, sadly...

[DFM]

I just watched it again today and goddamn is all the dialog cheesy as hell.

I still support this kind of movie because historical fantasy is awesome and so shattering Persian spears with your cock.

[Aerozord]

That's another thing Dr. Miller portrayed incorrectly. Historically the Spartans not only wore no armor or clothing to hide their shame, but actually slew many of their enemies with their cocks, either as spears or as crude bludgeoning instruments.

For shame, Dr. Miller. For shame.


I just watched it again today and goddamn is all the dialog cheesy as hell.

I still support this kind of movie because historical fantasy is awesome and so shattering Persian spears with your cock.
whats with you and penises lately?

[Hawk]

You do realise this is DFM you're talking to right?

[DFM]

The "lately" in your post has caused me to feel hurt and misunderstood, like many great geniuses in their time.

[Aerozord]

The "lately" in your post has caused me to feel hurt and misunderstood, like many great geniuses in their time.
I appologize, I will restate my comment.

What is with you and your obsession of male genitals which you have had since atleast puberty

[DFM]

I like them?

[Telephalsion]

Modesty is a virtue...