Someone Wield Me!

[Fighter's Sword]

Would some generous, kind, benevolent soul please WIELD ME! I am tired of Fighter's ramblings about me and my kind! Unlike Fighter, we are very [I]sharp! (both figuratively and physically, of course). You should imagine having to be sheathed next to such a person! Talking daily about Mr. Phibb/Dr. Pepper; The Family Circle, or that silly notion that we could be made into chucks!

I am a simple, SWS seeking female wielder to smite evil with.

[Diesel]

Hrmm, maybe they need to create a personals forum here?

[transcend]

Shall we do this Zork style?


: Wield Fighter's Sword.

You don't seem to be holding a Fighter's Sword.

: Take Fighter's Sword.

I don't understand "Fighter's"

: Look

You are in a thin, narrow east-west tunnel.
You see a Sword (Fighter's)

: Take Sword

Taken

: Wield Sword.

I don't know how to "Wield"
You see a grue.

: Hit grue

With what?

: Sword

I don't know how to "Sword"

: Hit grue with sword

You miss the grue.
The grue is charging towards you!

: Flee

Where?
The grue has almost reached you!

: South

You can't go in that direction.
The grue eats you. You die.

Game over. Your score: 0/100.

WEST OF HOUSE...

If anyone fills in the next few lines, they win a cookie.

[Fighter's Sword]

What self-respecting sword would possibly hang out with someone who obviously lacks the Martial Weapon Proficiency to wield me!

I only seek a classy female fightress to get away from that foolish fighter-chuckist thing.

[iBrow]

to Transcend:
you're west of a building, and there's a mailbox next to you.
That was from memory, so a few specifics might be wrong.
Anyway, the parts when it asks "with what?" and you write "sword" will actualy work. It won't say "you don't know how to sword." Problems only happen when the thing you want to hit with is another action. Like you say "hit" it says "with what?" so you write "hand." it will ask you "what do you want to hand?" or something like that because hand is another action and it thinks you're canceling the hit aciton.

[transcend]

to Transcend:
you're west of a building, and there's a mailbox next to you.
That was from memory, so a few specifics might be wrong.
Anyway, the parts when it asks "with what?" and you write "sword" will actualy work. It won't say "you don't know how to sword." Problems only happen when the thing you want to hit with is another action. Like you say "hit" it says "with what?" so you write "hand." it will ask you "what do you want to hand?" or something like that because hand is another action and it thinks you're canceling the hit aciton.

But several shoddier IFs have horrible parsing, and crap like that is frequent. Anyway, I'm off memory too.

The correct answer is:

WEST OF HOUSE
You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a
boarded front door.

There is a small mailbox here.

So no cookie.

[Drooling Iguana]

You can't see a grue! Grues dwell in the darkness of the Great Underground Empire, and have never been seen as they never venture into the light. However, if for whatever reason you neglect to bring a lamp of some sort with you, they'll be on you like grues on adventurers.

[transcend]

I beg to differ.

In Wishbringer, another infocom game, you find a baby grue. And you clearly see it. And identify it as one.

Yeah, you're right, though. Adults are too smart for that. Anyway, what should I change it to?

[iBrow]

My answer was deninately close enough to earn a cookie. I Demand a Cookie!!!

[transcend]

Stop whining. If we held all IFs up to the same shoddy standard you propose, you would have to mispell words the same way the author did just to get anything done!

But, since you did recognize the game, I give some crumbs.

..:;:;..:;...

[Fighter's Sword]

*sniffles* Everyones forgotten about the poor innocent sword who wants some non-fighter company.

I promise I won't ever mutter the word "chucks"!

[Jack of Spades]

Whiner...What the hell is a grue?!

[MaxFrost]

Would you be ok with some lvl 70 dual weilding ronin? I think you might enjoy being handled by someone that uber...

[transcend]

Jack of Spades: I suggest you run a google search for "Zork".

[BillyBob]

*sniffles* Everyones forgotten about the poor innocent sword who wants some non-fighter company.

I promise I won't ever mutter the word "chucks"!
Perhaps I can be of assisstance. All I would need is a stalwart shield, and we're in business.

[Lucas]

but fighter has two swords! not to mention slashy and stabby...

you need to learn some yagyu jubei style fighting to truely master fighter's swords!

[iBrow]

yes, fighter needs no shield!

[Introduction]

Topics like this scare me.

[transcend]

Do not be scared of the thread, for it is the thread that is scared of you.

Anyway, what would the Zodiac sign corresponding to sword-chuckery be? Perhaps through a Zodiac Kenshido multi-sign fusion, Fighter could indeed properly use sword-chucks...