NPF Avatars IV, Chapter V: Beyond the Wall of Teeth

[Arhra]

Arhra had just been trying to devise a means of procuring popcorn as it seemed there was about to be a messy fight going on. As Flare intervened to try and head things off, Arhra was reminded that intrapersonal conflict was not in her best interests if she wished to fulfill her goals. The only option was to be diplomatic. Regrettably, she'd neglected to bring her diplomacy hat. She'd have to improvise.

"I say, surely we can find a reasonable solution to this lamentable situation... my good chums? Are we not rational, thinking beings?" Being diplomatic did involve a lot of lying after all. It also seemed, inexplicably, to involve a British accent. "It would seem to me... my good chums... that 'twould be expedient to seek the wellspring of this conflict."

Taking a deep breath, Arhra continued, "The first circumstance would appear to be attitudes of one party having offended the sensibilities of other parties due to their offensive content (admittedly a highly subjective issue, but one that it would appear is against the group consensus due to a total lack of empathy for the plights of ones other than oneself) and thus giving rise to conflict of a physical nature with undesirable impact on group unity, meaning such behavoiur is unacceptable for successful peaceful interrelationship with other individuals who to adopt more conventional moral codes... my good chums."

Arhra inhaled again, "In order to resolve this dispute, I would suggest that we - RUN!" She bolted.

Her positioning meant that she'd been looking back down the tunnel and so had just seem the massive boulder drop ponderously out of a hole that had just irised open in the ceiling. Architectural anomalies like the tunnel's slope, closely toleranced, almost perfectly circular cross-section and complete lack of anything to shelter behind also had clicked together in her brain. Also, being flattened into a bloody paste by a really big rock would probably have a deletrious effect on her health.

Arhra's panicked mind was preoccupied with two thoughts as she raced down the tunnel, knowing the other NPF'ers and massive, heavy, painful, rolling crushing wouldn't be far behind. Firstly, she wasn't sure if there would be enough whips to save everyone and secondly that giant crushing boulders seem to be a potent means of stopping arguments.

[PhoenixFlame]

Arhra inhaled again, "In order to resolve this dispute, I would suggest that we - RUN!" She bolted.

"Run? Wh..." Phoenix was confused, and then turned to glance at the massive spherical rock tumbling down the just-correctly sized tunnel for it to chase them down.

"Earth Temple. Sentry. Boulder, Vanguard." The targeting computer of Phoenix's visor explained in it's needlessly verbose manner. Technically, had boulders been vehicles, a vanguard boulder would be one modified for increased speed and firepower. It was obvious however, that companies like PhoenixCorp did not construct "Sentry Boulder Vanguards" for errant Earth Temples.

"No schematics of the Boulder-Vanguard on record." It continued. Phoenix often wondered if computers were always serious, or just mocking her behind her back.

"Running is good!" The technomage agreed, and bolted down the tunnel after Arhra. If there weren't enough whips for everyone, she was going to make sure she got one before the rest of them.

[Inbred Chocobo]

Before the time of the boulder:

IC was the last person through the tunnel. He went and found another path down there that was much less dangerous, but everyone had already taken the tunnel. "There goes taking the scenic route." IC thought as he ran after the forumers.

As the forumers argued, only those that might have been paying attention would notice that IC came bursting through the teeth. Course, when he looked up and heard the argueing, he decided to listen. Though he did wish for popcorn.

Then the boulder thing happened. IC thought about running, then he noticed Garud and had an idea. IC took off running at Garud, then jumped in the air. He went to land on Garud's back, not only to force him flat on the ground, but to use him as a skateboard as such, and go skating down the tunnel.

[Steel Shadow]

Arhra inhaled again, "In order to resolve this dispute, I would suggest that we - RUN!" She bolted.


"Oh no, I'm not doing any more running today. Enough with the running!" He said, before turning around. Perhaps a wise man would have retracted his statment when he saw the boulder. An even wiser man wouldn't have bothered and just run anyway. Steel was niether of these things. "Ohhhhh crap" He sighed as the boulder rolled with great speed towards him.
He stood there staring at it, as if daring it to flatten him. The boulder rolled on, closer, gaining momentum. It was meteres away. Then feet, then inches. then centimeteres.
And then, for almost exactly 3 seconds, Steel disapeared from the space time continum. The boulder rolled on unimpeded, and Steel reapeared long after it had passed. Well, a few seconds anyway. He dusted his hands. "Easy."
Only then did it occur to him that the others were all on the other side of the still rolling boulder, and unless he could get past it again somehow, the only other way out would be alone, through the hall of mouths and back through the dreaded forest of stony death, where there were probably a bunch of dryads the forumites had missed just waiting for him. He paused to reflect on this for a moment. Then he turned around and ran after the boulder. "Hey, wait up!"

[Mauve Mage]

"I liked this better in the Disneyland ride," Mauve grunted as the boulder hit the ground, sending little shockwaves throughout the cave. "I got to ride a little jeep, and there was no risk of getting flattened."

She started to run, but then stopped as a horrible thought entered her mind. There were still NPFers in the cave. She looked back. Skyshot was struggling with Nightstorm near the cave's mouth, and some people were still trying to get out.

"Darnit...!" Cursing, she shoved a handful of whatever candy she could get her hands on first (Skittles, yay!) and ran back towards the rapidly approaching rock.

"Blizzaga!" At her command, large chunks of ice formed along the cave walls directly in front of the boulder, marring the smooth and perfectly-sized walls of the tunnel. The boulder hit the ice blockade... and smashed through it.

"BLIZZAGA!" More ice appeared in the rock's path, and it seemed to slow down for a few seconds. Mauve couldn't stop it alltogether, and her MP wouldn't last forever, but she might be able to slow it down until the others got a good head start.

"Skyshot! Get out of there!" she yelled at the cleric/thief. "Blizzaga!" She couldn't keep casting all day, but maybe she could at least give the slower people a chance to catch up with those who had already started running after Ahrha.

[Toastburner B]

"Oh....crap, dood!" TB squeaked.

He had several reasons for being alarmed. First and foremost, prinnys were not beings designed for speed. Being a patchwork zombie penguin with peg legs didn't really lend to being able to outrruning boulders.

As he whipped his little legs into gear, TB finally began to do something useful. Pulling little bombs out of the fanny pack on his belly, he began to leave a trail of expolsives behind him, hoping to either make the big rock smaller, or to make the cave less roll-friendly. It was then he noticed Mauve's efforts to slow the boulder.

"Dood! Get going, Mauve! If push comes to shove, I still have a few bodies to go through before I have to start worrying about it, dood, you don't!"

[PyrosNine]

"I shall continue this later!" Pyros said, and quickly flew down the path, but then heard Ice magic behind him. He saw the Mauve wearing mage attacking the Boulder to slow it down to save the others who were about to be entrapped by it.

Pyros, with the derring do that comes from being similar to Superman (except for the Lex Luthor part. If Pyros decided no good act could come from the man, he'd slice him up so good, and no amount of cloning would bring him back.), pulled out his wings and flew towards those still near the closed mouth in the wall.

"Grab my hands, I am far more swift than thee. And that is not a jab at Mages, I promise."

[Flarecobra]

"Mauve! I'll try to gum it up!" I called out, and decided to use my slime form to it's fullest. I launched myself at it and made myself as dense as I could, so that when I hit the boulder, I would at least try to stay semi-togeather, and when I was at the top or the bottom, I'd try to jam it up.

[Skyshot]

Skyshot slipped out from between the teeth, tugged out Nightstorm, and checked his balance. "I'm good. Hey, what's that...okay. Not good."

Skyshot wracked his brain for a solution while most of his teammates bravely ran away.

"Okay, I've got it. I run up and jam Nightstorm under the boulder to slow it down a second. Then Fenris and Flare can...where's Flare? Oh. All right, new plan: Thief Special Hidden Ultimate Trademark Final Technique!"

He fled.

[Mauve Mage]

Mauve was forced into a retreat as the boulder continued to push forward. She, Flare, and Toasty were doing all they could to slow the thing down, but it was still gaining ground.

"Dood!" squeaked Toastburner, his little legs moving as fast as they could, which really wasn't that fast. "Get going, Mauve! If push comes to shove, I still have a few bodies to go through before I have to start worrying about it, dood, you don't!"

Mauve instantly saw the wisdom in this. Throwing one more ice spell at the boulder, she turned tail and ran. She almost ran right into Pyros, who was running full-speed from the opposite direction.

"Grab my hands, I am far more swift than thee," Pyros instructed. "And that is not a jab at Mages, I promise." Mauve made a lunge and grabbed Pyros by the wrist.

"Well, if you promise," she said, somewhat out of breath already.

[Tarrin]

Tarrin looked around, "Well that was unexpected" He had been wandering when part of the floor had given way, Plunging him a good twenty feet into darkness.
Every part of him seamed to ache, And his eyes couldn't adjust to the inky blackness that engulfed him. Spirit meld.... The bats sonar worked well in this environment and he could tell that there was a hallway leading off to the right.
"No use just sitting here" He said standing and walking off in that direction

[Dragonsbane]

Dragonsbane faced the boulder head-on, glaring as if he intended to detonate it with sheer force of will alone. However, he was well aware that that technique would not actually work. In spite of his many talents, he was not Psionic. Mostly, he was irate because he knew the perfect spell to get out of this. It would convert a large mass of terrain into lava, a battlefield technique especially useful in cavern fighting. His idea was to create a pool of the substance that the boulder would crash into and then sink.

The problem was that he had not memorized that spell for today, instead filling his mind with high-level necromancies, other offensive magic, and a variety of useful 'utility' spells.

So, instead, he turned and ran instead of wasting more magic, calling on the enchantments in his boots to speed his strides. As he ran, he went through several half-formulated ideas to destroy or escape the boulder. He assumed that it was warded against magic and made of a substance hard enough to resist more convential means of damage.

The next solution, while it presented the problem of separating him from the group, was almost ludicrously simple. As he ran, he took careful aim at the wall of the tunnel to his left, and fired a sizzling emerald ray. A ten-foot-deep hollow of stone was turned instantly to soft emerald dust, which fell away with a soft patter, allowing the spellcaster to duck into his makeshift refuge while the boulder passed.

[Bailey]

Syttulg saw the boulder coming, saw people fleeing, and scratched his head. He then carefully lay in the corner of the corridor, allowed the circular boulder to pass, and then stood up and brushed himself off. "I knew that watching FMA would help me out some day."


Syttulg glanced at the boulder and began running. Unfortunately, he wasn't very fast, and the boulder nearly caught up with him. As it came closer, he desperately commanded his nannites to carve a groove into the boulder. Twelve rotations of the boulder, a long trail of rock dust, and an empty battery later, Syttulg collapsed and the boulder passed over him, just missing turning him into paste.

[PyrosNine]

Pyros flew and snatched Skyshot by the back of his shirt with his other free hand. Then, with hawklike precision, Pyros swooped down and grabbed at Toastburner with his feet, and then flew back up.

"Thank you for flying Air Pyros, I must request that you refrain from smoking, drinking, or being hard to hold for the duration of the flight, and ask that you hold on as I attempt to fly at full speed down a tunnel that is barely large enough for me to manuever in with my wings."

Pyros looked back and noticed there was one Forumite still there, Flarecobra was attempting to "gum" up the boulder. Pyros was fairly sure it wouldn't work, but even if it did run her over, she'd be fine. And there were odds that she might get stuck to the boulder itself, and be along shortly to wherever it was this tunnel lead.

"Good luck then," Pyros called out to her, and flew through the tunnel at full speed, away from the boulder.

[Bailey]

Syttulg's weight shifted slightly, and he ended up tumbling down the corridor head-over-heels.

[Flarecobra]

I ended up splattering agenst the boulder, and as it rolled I tried to at least slow it down by trying to use friction between the ceiling and the boulder....but it had little effect. If anything, it made it more slick due to my slime. <Shit...> I thought to myself, since now it seemed I was stuck along for the ride as I recovered my wits.

[POS Industries]

"Forward shields down to 38%!"

Captain NexGen's fingers dug into the armrests of his chair, so much so that they may very well have started to bleed all over the apolstery. Of course, the former Gaian general probably wouldn't have noticed, given his current precarious position of Commanding Officer aboard a ship that, at this moment, was hurtling toward almost certain doom within the tail of a very nasty looking comet.

Pedro O'Sullivan, however, appeared less worried as he stood behind NexGen, arms still crossed in front of him as he stared straight ahead, only moving ever so slightly as the Riyal rocked and rolled and rumbled around him. The comet was his only concern, and he certainly didn't have the time or interest to meet NexGen's panicked glance as the ship's tactical officer called out their dwindling shield status. "This is getting annoying," POS growled, "Can we get some music in here? I'm thinking something grandiose and overdramatic for this.... Maybe Holst's 'Mars, The Bringer of War'? Yeah, crank that up."

A soft chime was heard as the ship's computer processed the request, followed a split-second later by the symphony on maximum volume. The ship buckled a good deal more, but now the tactical officer's reports about their imminent demise were very effectively drowned out.

NexGen, however, was not at all comforted by this.


***************

If boulders were sentient creatures (and science hasn't proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that they aren't), the thoughts of the particular boulder that was barreling after the NPFers might have sounded something like this:

"Awwww yeeeahhhh, I'm comin' fer ya!! Yup, I'ma gonna git ya! GONNA GIT YA!!! Run all you like, you little squishie running things you, I'ma make you go squish! SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH!!!! Mmhmm.... SQUISHY!!"

Luckily for the boulder's intended victims, they could not hear these potentially fictionalized thoughts, as very few people in existance have ever mastered the ancient and mysterious art of boulder telepathy. Fortunately, they all got the general idea of its intent and ran like all kinds of hell. Perhaps if things had been allowed to continue down this vein, they might have run through the tunnel, into the haunted mansion, and up to the second floor hallway where a whole routine of the gang running in and out of various doors as the boulder chased after them would ensue. Suddenly though, Rhiya or somebody might come up with an idea to cut down the chandelier as the boulder rolled underneath, dropping it on top of the massive rock and trapping it.

"Let's see who the boulder really is," Dragonsbane would say as he pulled off the boulder's mask.

"Mr. McSchweitzenberg, the groundskeeeper?" everyone would exclaim in shock upon the revelation of boulder's secret identity.

"Yeah, and I would've gotten away with it, too," the boulder would grumble, "if it hadn't been for those meddling NPFers and their slimegirl."

And as everyone has a good laugh about a mystery well solved, Newb would shout out in triumph, "NEWBY-DOOBY-DOO!!!"

Of course, none of this was ever given a chance to happen as a bright flash of light filled the cave, coming from the small portal that opened between the portal and the group running from it. The shadow of a young woman could be seen briefly as the portal closed behind her, just before she raised her arms in the air and shouted, "DOOM CANNON!!!"

Another blinding flash of light filled the darkness of the cave, followed almost instanteously by a massive explosion. As the light faded, the girl finally came into full view as the dust and gravel of what used to be the boulder fell about her feet.

"Hey guys!" Rei called out, waving excitedly to all around before grabbing the nearest person in a bone crushing bearhug, "How have you been? I've missed you all so much!!"

The nearest person, it should be noted, was Mauve.

[Arhra]

After a careful consideration of all variables and their impact upon the current situation, Arhra had chosen to discard introspection about the logistics of whip distribution and the possibilities of boulder-related dispute resolution in favour of the following train of thought: RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN!

If she'd had the time to spare a thought for it, Arhra would have felt thankful her energy draining current form was quite physically capable and grew moreso with the passage of time. She was at the forefront of the elite ranks of people running for their lives. Then she heard it.

"DOOM CANNON!!!" A blinding light burst behind Arhra, casting her shadow dark and massive before her just as she heard a boom. Huh? That sounds like some kind of doom cannon. Arhra skidded, trying to stop her own momentum and was caught off balance by the concussive blast. Cursing her own feather weight, she was knocked head over heels. Rolling further down the tunnel before finally coming to a stop, Arhra lay dazed for a moment.

Collecting her wits, Arhra went back up to tunnel to find what all this boulder stopping was about. Finding it was Rei, Arhra decided the best option was that flying tackle-hug manveveur known inexplicably as a glomp.

The exchange went something like this.

"Rei!"

"Captain Arhra!"

"Oh, I'm not a captain right now."

Arhra had mysteriously ended up in command of Phoenix's battlecruiser, the Isparalian in the battle agaisnt Raiden. It remained a mystery to this day, especially to Phoenix who had been temporarily incapacitated. While Phoenix had swiftly recovered, she had been loaded into her mech and deployed while still unconscious by Arhra's orders.

Looking back at the remains of the boulder, Arhra suddenly became more businesslike, "Er, maybe we should get out of here. That boulder seems to think its some kind of killer robot from the future." The threat of the boulder was not removed it appeared. The broken rubble was flowing as if it wasn't made of solid rock, undulating back together. Other parts seems to be flowing towards the NPFers like lava, jagged, sharp edges at their ends.

Of course there were those people who, for one reason or another, were on the other side of the boulder. Discretion being the better part of valour, Arhra decided they could find their own way across as she went back down the tunnel at a brisk walk, feeling winded from all the running.

[Mauve Mage]

"HYURG!!" Mauve grunted as she became the victim of a run-by hugging. Oh lovely. She had been saved from being squished, only to be crushed.

"Hello Rei..." Mauve managed to gasp as she recognized the perky li'l voice. "Thanks for... the save... But could you... possibly... let me go?" She struggled for air. "Delicate ribcage, you know... This human skeleton and weak lungs of mine... will be the death of me."

[PyrosNine]

Pyros pried Mauve out of the strange non-life woman's arms. "I'm afraid you are hurting her, miss."

Pyros set mauve gently down elsewhere, and then looked at the task at hand. The boulder was alive.

"It certainly is very persistent for a boulder." Pyros drew his blade.

[PhoenixFlame]

"DOOM CANNON!!!"

The voice was familiar. Too familiar. Phoenix whirled around and raised her plasma rifle, pressing her eye agaisnt the starlight scope's rear sight as the crosshairs fell over the newcomers's head. She didn't remember deploying Phoenixbot here!

"Vzwrr!" The rifle automatically hummed, like any science fiction weapon did when leveled at someone. On second thought, Phoenix mused, that seemed a bit threatening.

"R... Rei?" Phoenix asked, her right eye peaking over the weapon's scope as she noted the difference in facial style between her own creation and... Her own creation made for Pedro. "What are you doing here... And why do you have classified weapons that I didn't give you!?" The technomage asked the first question with a friendly tone, but the second was distinctly less so.

[POS Industries]

"R... Rei? What are you doing here... And why do you have classified weapons that I didn't give you!?"

"Classified weapons are classified," Rei, in her usual cheerful tone, replied to her addresser as she released the near-dead Mauve into this new incarnation of Pyros' custody, "Oh, hi there, Madame Phoenix! Pe-chan thought now would be a good time to join in on the fun! Also, I've got some--"

Rei suddenly found herself the target of a glomping, though the force of said glomp was not enough to budge the android.

"Rei!"

"Captain Arhra!" Rei exclaimed upon her recognition of the person clinging to her.

Arhra released and stepped back slightly, shaking her head, "Oh, I'm not a captain right now."

"Oh... Okay, Admiral!" Rei shrugged, suddenly turning her attention to the metallic briefcase, locked with only the most advanced of POS Industries security technology, that had been sitting at her feet this whole time, "By the way, Pe-chan wanted me to--"

"It certainly is very persistent for a boulder."

Rei turned to see Pyros drawing his sword, eyes focused intently on the debris from the boulder, which appeared to be reforming in the most magically delicious sort of way.

"Er, maybe we should get out of here," Arhra stated with little affect, "That boulder seems to think its some kind of killer robot from the future."

"Ooh, okeedokee!" Rei grinned excitedly, handing the briefcase off to Arhra, who was already beginning to resume her fleeing. Turning her attention back to the swiftly reassembling mass of stone, a low humming began to emit from the android as she slowly raised an inch or two of the ground, energy crackling all about her and that mischievious grin still plastered across her face. "Well, let's see how mean ol' Mr. Boulder-Robot-From-The-Future does against some of today's killer robot technology!"

[PhoenixFlame]

Phoenix ran up beside Rei, and leveled her plasma rifle at the rapidly-reforming boulder. It only seemed fitting to give the thing a proper send-off. With fire.

"May as well. After all, I've been wanting to make a flowstone armature recently." She chuckled, "Alright! All units focus on the boulder and open fire!"

*Vwzzr!* The rifle crackled to life once more, and Phoenix began squeesing off rapid short bursts of plasma bolts toward the downed boulder, the azure balls of energy slamming into the molten flowstone and vaporizing parts of it that it touched.

[Toastburner B]

"Dood...I guess I'm the only one who doesn't know who this person is." TB squeaked, still dangling upside down in P9's grasp.

Noticing the boulder, TB opened his pouch. Gravity took over, and a seemingly impossible amount of bombs began to fall from it. With a speed surprising for a undead pengiun, Toastburner grabbed the bombs as they fell, and threw them at the reforming boulder, hoping to destroy the boulder, or, at least, delay its reformation.

[Tarrin]

Treamors and vibrations sped down the hallway Tarrin was lost in, Obviously those treamors could come from just one source....NPFers, Either that or some horribly unspeakable doom in which Tarrin would be lost forever, Weighing the options He decided to travel towards the disturbance.

The vibrations became noises"...Explosions" Tarrins smile returned to his lips, The NPFers had to be behind that, Rounding a corner he looked across an opening to the assembled group, THe small undead penguin that was TB furiously threw bombs at a pile of rubble, No not rubble....A reforming boulder, Wow now that looked like fun to Tarrin, However sofar the maze had been not his friend so he decided on dicresion and walked towards the rest of the fourimites.

[Mauve Mage]

"Dood...I guess I'm the only one who doesn't know who this person is."

"Oh, that's right," Mauve realized aloud. "Somebody decided they were too busy to join the last Save The World mission, so they never met Rei."

She waved a hand airily between the upside-down Toastburner and the weapon-encrusted Rei.

"Toasty, meet Rei; POS Industries' computer embodied. Rei, POS Industries' computer embodied, meet Toastburner, resident teamkill victim and current bomb-throwing maniac."

Mauve's hand closed into a fist and an aura of white-blue magic formed around it.

"Now that we're all chummy, let's destroy and/or escape this latest bouldery problem." she said cheerfully. She made a motion as though throwing a baseball, and the white-blue light left her fist and impacted with the flowing rock, freezing a chunk of it. For a moment it seemed to anchor the selected area to the ground, but it soon broke free and just became another chunk of something to squish the NPF with.

"Hmm," Mauve said. "Running sounds good."

And so she ran.

[Flarecobra]

Due to the exploding boulder, and my covering a good part of it, caused bits of slimegirl to go everywhere in the tunnel. I myself was hurt pretty badly, having lost some of my material, as I slowly began to reform lyself behind the boulder. "OWWWW!!!! WHOEVER FUCKING SHOT THAT IS DEAD!" I screamed out as soon as I was able to.

[Bailey]

Syttulg, still unconscious and tumbling down the hallway, rolled through a portion of Flare which was on the ground and kept going, only to finally slow and come to a rest a couple of turns down.

[FenrisWolf]

How did Fenris help them destroy the boulder?

Simple, with his hammer. He stayed back, and threw his hammer at the largest rock, breaking it into smaller pieces. The people with genuine ranged attacks could then break them down further, while Fenris waited for his hammer to return to his hand. When it did, he found the largest one, and threw his hammer at it.

(OOC: I would make this post better. I really would. Except I just got up and I can barely post a sentence in coherent English.)

[Dragonsbane]

It would have been perfectly easy to let the others defeat the boulder on their own, or else get squished flatter than a pancake. Yet...here he was, walking down the hallway in the direction the boulder had taken. He rationalized that they made useful pawns and meat shields, but perhaps he wasn't half as jaded as he thought he was.

He moved swiftly enough to see the boulder explode, and saw some of his hypotheses confirmed by the boulder's amoebalike efforts to reform itself. He pondered the chances of it being, in fact, some sort of Ooze or Slime...a Rock Slime? The idea, while interesting, was not currently important.

Judging the rate of the thing's reformation and the sudden presence of the non-Ayanami Rei, he determined that now was the right time to act. Activating the enchantment in his cloak and transforming the stylish garment into a pair of black draconic wings, he leapt into the air, beat his wings twice, and flew upside-down along the upper curve of the ceiling with his hands and feet scrambling along the roof to provide more momentum. In a few minutes he landed beside the others, brushed himself off, and inquired nonchalantly, "Have I missed anything of import?"

[PyrosNine]

Pyros dashed up to an incoming living rock, and with the skill of his blade, launched into the air before him. With surgeon like precision Pyros cut the rock into miniscule particles midair, and they hung in midair still from the speed of his swings. Then he put his hand forward and destroyed the particles with a burst of fire.

Of course, that was only a small rock, and only a small part of the larger living boulder. Pyros knew that this would take some time to be of any effect, and would require some fancy footwork. He only wished he could be dressed and wearing something other than his underwear for the job.

"We need a powerful cutting attack to remove this object's density considerably, and then a powerful as well ass large magic/energy attack to destroy even the particles. This may require teamwork."

Pyros leapt back as another rock came close. "Also, anyone have a spare pair of pants? I'm not one to enjoy partial nudity."

[POS Industries]

"Dood...I guess I'm the only one who doesn't know who this person is."

"Oh, that's right! Somebody decided they were too busy to join the last Save The World mission, so they never met Rei. Toasty, meet Rei; POS Industries' computer embodied. Rei, POS Industries' computer embodied, meet Toastburner, resident teamkill victim and current bomb-throwing maniac."

Rei, still hovering a couple inches off the ground and crackling with electromagnetic energy, shot a glance backward at TB and Mauve during their little introduction session. While her paramount concern was to the reforming boulder-creature, the android still took the necessary nanosecond to process this latest discovery.

NOTE - Subject: Penguin. Recommended Course of Action: Hug later!

That firmly taken care of, it was time to--

"OWWWW!!!! WHOEVER FUCKING SHOT THAT IS DEAD!"

VOICE RECOGNITION ACTIVATED!
Subject: Flare Cobra. Recommended Course of Action: Hug later!

"Oops! Sorry about that!" Rei apologized sweetly as Phoenix ran up beside her and started firing at the churning mass of rock, "I didn't see you there! You should be sure to get to a safe distance now, as my next attack should be sufficient to reduce the target to atoms. Thank you for your compliance and have a POS Industriestastic day!"

[Skyshot]

"Rei? The Woren from Breath of Fire III? Let me see! ...Oh. Might someone care to introduce her to those of us who have no clue who she is? 'Cuz I have no idea who she is." He looked at the boulder. "Actually, new plan." He looked at his teammates dealing with the boulder. "Nah, back to Plan A."

[POS Industries]

"Rei? The Woren from Breath of Fire III? Let me see! ...Oh. Might someone care to introduce her to those of us who have no clue who she is? 'Cuz I have no idea who she is. Actually, new plan. Nah, back to Plan A."

Rei glanced at Skyshot briefly while Pyros attacked some boulder parts.

SCANNING FORUMER DATABASE! SUBJECT IDENTIFIED!
Subject: Skyshot M'rnai.
Current Condition: Rambling like a drunkard.
Recommended Course of Action: Disregard. Destroy if distraction continues. Hug later!

[PhoenixFlame]

"Delay, Rei." Phoenix says, pointing at the boulder with her left hand, "This boulder is obviously forged from a very rare material that can prove useful if collected in sufficient quantity. Stand by, scanning."

With this, her arm device's display popped up and bleeped to life, firing a wide-angled cool green fan of needlessly flashing scanning, such as that seen in Star Trek.

*Scanning!*
*Scan complete. Target composed of 89% Flowstone, 10% Metamorphic Limestone, and 1% Trace Elements. No Omega-Class Metallics found."

*WARNING*
*Amorphous Slime Life Form Detected! 75% certainty of Carnivorous Amobea. Suggested course of action: Termination*

Phoenix targeted the nearest small chunk of Flowstone, and selected "Deconstruct and Collect" . A titanium cable shot forth from her hand device and transferred the appropriate colony of nanites to deal with this material, break it down into atoms, and store in a collection capsule that Phoenix attached to the rear of the multi-use tool attached to her arm.

[Steel Shadow]

Steel had been chasing after the boulder a few seconds ago, trying to figure out how to get past it. Now he was laying flat on his back staring at the ceiling. The cogs in his brain whired for a moment, trying to peice together what had happened to get him from situation A to situation B. They gave up and hauled him to his feet.
Muttering under his breath as he brushed the dust off his clothes, he looked ahead at the mass explosions taking place.
"Ok, why are they still attacking the boulder?" He asked the air. The ferocity of the other NPFers attacks meant he couldn't get across the ruble untill they'd finished. Unless he flew, but he didn't feel like wasting all his coffee gained energy just yet.

[Skyshot]

Skyshot saw the new arrival glance toward him briefly before looking away.

"Uh, hello?" He waved his hand a few times in front of her face before shrugging and looking back at the boulder. "Whoops, need to deal with that."

In a quick sleight-of-hand-like motion, he slipped a dart out from his left sleeve, twisted his body back, and then snapped forward, hurtling the dart at one of the pieces of the boulder. Dink! The lightweight dart bounced off the rock.

"Okay, stupid plan. On to Plan..." He rolled his eyes upwards and pursed his lips. "...D? Sounds about right." He took an all-purpose action stance and quickly tried to figure out a possible Plan D. His first thought was to pummel the boulder with Nightstorm, but the high powered weaponry being fired at it in combination with his survival instinct overrode that idea. "Uh, does someone have some grenades or something I can throw at it?"

[Tarrin]

The NPFers hadn't noticed Tarrin again yet they were far to intent on the Boulder/Rubble soon to be pebbels, Raising his hand to greet them all again he found himself in midair, "AWwww crap" was all Tarrin got out as the piece of floor slid out from under him, Plunging into the darkness another section of floor slid back into place covering any thoughts of climbing out.

Hitting the ground with a thud Tarrin stayed on his back for a few moments allowing his breath to come back, Then sitting up he peered into the darkness that surrounded him, "Someone deffinately dosen't like me that's for sure" His mind wondered to raiden but quickly pushed that thought aside, After all he wasnt able to control the earth itself...was he?

Remembering his backpack he reached inside and shook a glowstick to life, It's orange glow lighting the tunnel he was in, The only question he had now was left or right?

[POS Industries]

"Okeedokee..."

Rei's attack was successfully charged to full power, and it was time to get her destruction on. However, it seemed that, not unlike a litter of puppies, a good portion of the NPFers were crawling around her feet and jumping up on her in an attempt to say "Hi!"

Now, while she wouldn't have at all minded this, her orders were to at least try to maintain the safety of most everyone here, and having so many of them in the line of fire was an unfortunate bother.

"Everyone, may I have your attention, please?" the android called out, raising her hands in the air as the electromagnetic energy that had been swirling about her begain to concentrate into a ball in her outstretched arms, "I will begin firing shortly, and I request that anyone between myself and the boulder-flowstone-robot-thingy please move to a safe distance. Furthermore, the shockwave from my attack will greatly compromise the stability of the cave around us, so I would greatly appreciate it if anyone capable of remedying this would make sure to do so!"

The ball of energy fully formed in her hands, she shifted her arms downward and took aim at the flowstone creature. "We at POS Industries thank you in advance for your cooperation during this time. I will fire on the count of five. Hope you all make it! One.... Two......... FIVE!!!!"

And holy crap, did it ever get bright and loud in there!

[PyrosNine]

Before the blast:

Pyros saw the non-human charge up an attack. "Very well then. I shal bel the cutting wind before the storm."

Pyros held his sword up.

"You're in my way, and I'm cutting through! OMNICLASH!"

Pyros flew through the tunnel at breakneck speeds, sword in front of him. When he reached it, those who weren't cowering in fear, not paying attention, or just apathetic to it all would have sworn it was as if his blade never moved through out the other thing, while those with much better senses would have seen swings that were nothing more than faint blurs. Pyros himself had a point where even he could not see his own blade and he had to be extra careful lest he he cut himself in twain.

Pyros passed through the living boulder as if it were not there and all that was left were bits and pieces that hovered in the air.

Then came the one known as Rei's attack. Pyros was not out of the way yet, and suddenly felt a powerful burning sensation on his back, between his nigh-undamageable wings.

The power launched pyros forth, and Pyros was sent soaring down the tunnel away from the explosion.

As he was rocketed through the air, Pyros had one thing on his mind "I hope that at least killed the stone..."

Okay, two things: "I hope my briefs don't burn off as well..."

[Bailey]

As Pyros rocketed up the corridor and crashed into Syttulg, Syttulg could only grunt as the air was forced out of his lungs.

[Flarecobra]

"SONOFABITCH!" I said, and flattened myself out as best I could.

[Skyshot]

"Well, that's suitable for plan D, I guess. Thief Special Hidden blah blah blah," Skyshot said as he ran away. "Also, dear heavenly forces above, which I serve to my greatest power yet only poorly, please maintain the structural integrity of this tunnel."

"You call that a prayer?"

"Okay, let's see you do a better one."

[Lumaes]

It was in the fading flash of the androids attack that the rather distinctive sound of a door opening made itself known. The sound, in fact, was so distinct that those gifted with particular auricular capacity would be able to ascertain that the door was a fairly recent addition, having been manufactured from fine grain cedar wood harvested somewhere in the northern hemisphere within the last five years. The hinges were obviously a copper alloy with no more than 6% impurities and had, perhaps, had their oiling neglected once too often.
The next rather distinct sound came from the rather distinct creature which answered through said door.
"Allo"
What had entered through the door could only be described as Death, its body was a mass of shadows, blending substancelessly with the darkness of the tunnel and all most dissapearing in the light. The face and hands lacked this indistinctness. Its head was a pale disc which treated the assemblage to a monstrously toothy grin. Its carved hands had joint burned with its own sigil. Suspended in the inky substance of its chest there was a large, fresh looking acorn, defying all explanation.
"Jolly good job! No one's given him a dressing down in years - he was growing insufferable. Though I would perhaps reccomend haste, yes? The second is gaining momentum."
Flashing another jovial grin the creature inexplicably produces a hand-bell, tinkling it demandingly,
"Don't dither then - the next doors this way"
Luma-es then shuts the door, using an inexplicable key to lock it behind it. As if to answer some unasked question it taps one boney finger against the sign on the front NO ENTRY
With that the creature sets off down the tunnel at a jaunty, legless pace.
"Oh! Arhra wouldn't be about would he?"
Apparently the creatures information was out of date.

[POS Industries]

As the light from this latest wave of electromagnetic doom faded into nothingness, those with eyes that needed to adjust to the change in light did so, and those among them that had been looking in Rei's general direction would have surely noticed the android girl merrily squeezing TB in her arms as tightly as she could.

"SSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOO KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!!!!!!!" she squealed, rubbing her gleefully smiling face against the top of the prinny bomber's little asphyxiated head, before quickly tossing him into the nearest cave wall as she suddenly remembered something.

"Oh! One moment!"

Leaping into the center of the space that, until very recently, had been occupied by the flowstone boulder, Rei proudly raised her hands into the air and emitted a strange humming from her internals. Through the magic of science, the gravity of the area immediately surrounding her reversed momentarily, lifting the various substances that had been covering the floor into the air, where they suddenly hovered as the gravity field was altered once more.

Most notably among these levitated substances was several puddles of the goo that goes by the name Flare Cobra. After initiating a series of purely asthetic gestures, Rei manipulated the gravity field further, forcing the floating orbs of slime together into one big blob before setting it gently upon the ground and returning the gravity to normal.

"There you go!"

As the slime reformed into a more Flare-like shape, Rei's eyes suddenly flashed red for a moment as her internal processors began going over a number of conflicting orders.

It seems that Rei had orders to kill Flare on sight...

BEGIN FLASHBACK!!!!!!
(You know you love 'em!)

NPF AVATAR ARENA, QUARTERFINAL ROUND:

It was hot. Really hot. You can't imagine how unbelievably hot it was. Then again, given that these events were taking place on the north side of an erupting volcano, one could suppose that the level of heat was more than understandable. One of the two people that currently inhabited this particular side of the volcano was, in fact, quite comfortable here.

The Negative Kamen (aka Pedro O'Sullivan), however, was not.

His opponent, Flare Cobra, had very decidedly won field advantage in this round and was using it well. There wasn't enough light here for the Kamen to create any decent shadow portals, and the shadow puppets he was making were weak to the point of near-transperancy. Flare, meanwhile, was able to just dive in and out of the rivers of liquid-hot magma with the greatest of ease, and there was no following her there.

In one final desperation maneuver, Negative Kamen had summoned four of his puppets and sent them on a multi-vectored collision course with their dragoon prey. Flare stood several feet away from the safety of her lava, and this would be the only chance the Kamen would have to catch her.

Or not.

"MEGA FLARE!!!" And with two words, the shadow puppets and their target all disappeared into a massive explosion of fire and other such hotness. As the Kamen began to move away from the blast, he looked up to see the dragoon descending upon him from the ashen sky above, just as she transmogrified into her slime girl form.

"BLURGLE!!! BLUBRBNGLRBLE BLRBH GKHUBNDLR!!!!" the Kamen cried out as he found himself enveloped in Flareslime. For those not fluent in the language of the drowning, his words would be translated thusly:

"AW HELL!!! NEGATIVE HEART CRUSHER!!!!"

Suddenly, the ring on his right index finger exploded in a pitch black wave of doom, crushing everything in its path to mere subatomic particles. As the Kamen suddenly gasped for air as the slime vanished from him, it could be seen that his expertly-tailored tuxedo had changed from its original black to a pure white, just before dissipating to reveal the normal clothes of Pedro O'Sullivan.

Pedro, now temporarily purified as a side-effect of the attack, looked in horror at the destruction he had wrought. "Is.... is that it?" he stammered, "Did I win? Flare? Flare, are you okay?"

"Yes, POS, I'm just fine," stated a voice behind him, just before a large snake tail smacked him hard in the back of the head, knocking Pedro to the ground in a sudden case of unconsciousness.

"And here is your winner," called out Raiden as he appeared next to the lamia and raised her hand into the air, "FLARE COBRA!!!"

END FLASHBACK!!!!!!!!!

Back in the cave, Rei considered her various orders and determined that ensuring the survival of all of the NPFers was paramount to her termination order of Flare. Instead, the android simply patted the extremely angry slimegirl on the head before leaping off to deliver a potentially deadly tacklehug to Skyshot.

[PyrosNine]

Pyros got up, a good distance away from the others, completely in bush. What was worse however, is that he wasn't alone. Somehow he'd bumped into the pitiful syttulg on the way. Fortunately, the plantman was unconcious and wasn't able to see Pyros in all his nudity.

Despite this, Pyros enveiled himself as best as he could with his wings. Being nude was never good. It could only bring humiliation, disorder, chaos, indecency, and marriage proposals.

Pyros called down the corridor. "Forgive me if I am being demanding, but perchance any of you have a spare change of clothes?"

[Flarecobra]

"Gee, thanks. Almost makes up for blasting me all over the walls." I said, as soon as I had finished reforming. "Ok, time to get solid again....DB, you still have my armor in that magic pouch of yours, right?" I said, looking at him.

[Toastburner B]

Toastburner found himself flying towards a wall, having being tossed.

At this point, everyone should know what happens when you throw a prinny.

If you don't, you're about to find out, so pay attention.

Well...I guess it had to happen sooner or later, dood. TB thought to himself. I'm actually surprised to took so lo-.

His thought was rudely interrupted by a wall, which his head smashed into. However, before the impact was fully complete, TB exploded, taking a good sized chunk of the wall with him.


(The Fates have declared that TB returns as Scar Kitty)


As chance had it, the nearest respawn point was very close by to the party, so much so that TB could clearly see the smoke from where he had exploded a short time before. "Wow," TB muttered to himself as he pushed himself off the ground, "that was a pretty quick turn around time...must not of been many people dying at that moment, so my ping was good."

At TB got to his feet, he noticed he had four of them, and they were covered with fur. "Hey...been awhile since I was in this form," he commented. "Of course, it would of been more handy a few posts ago...you know, being able to take apart the boulder at a molecular level would of helped a lot."

[POS Industries]

After nearly hugging the life out of Skyshot and discarding him, Rei managed to catch up with Arhra. "Thanks soooo much for hanging onto my briefcase!" she said as said case was handed back to its rightful owner, then turning to address the assembling group of NPFers, "All righty, everyone! If I could have your attention please, it's time for some exposition!"

Keying in the appropriate secret passcode into the briefcase's lock, Rei opened the case and set it upon the ground. As Rei backed away, a holographic projection appeared of a tall man of slender build with pale skin and long brown hair, dressed in a black and grey business suit, standing with his arms crossed and a smug smile upon his face.

"Hello, erm, friends," the holographic recording of Pedro O'Sullivan greeted everyone, "If you're watching this, then you aren't dead. Hooray for you. For those of you that have died, better luck next time. You should have tried harder."

POS took a moment to chuckle slightly to himself before continuing. "In case you were wondering, we at POS Industries have been monitoring your progress since the very onset of this adventure, via the small transmitters that I had implanted in the optic and auditory nerves of the hobo during our previous bit of fun."

"Hear that, Mr. Hobo?" Rei called out cheerily to Fenris, "That's why your eye's been so itchy!"

"Anyway," the holo-POS continued, "I didn't feel the need to join you and, honestly, I still don't. Currently, I'm busy on an important fact-finding mission, but have decided that it would benefit you to have my associate Rei help you out for the time being. Contained within this very briefcase is an assortment of various supplies that we have determined will be of immediate use to most of you. Good luck and all that. See you in hell!"

As the holographic projector deactivated, Rei kneeled down and started rummaging through the briefcase. "Okay, folks! Step right up and get your stuff! We have candy, drinks, food, healing potions, and..." Rei stood and held up a dark grey jumpsuit with the POS Industries logo printed in white on the back and a nametag sewn on the left front breast that displayed the name "Smitty".

"...this is for Mr. Pyros!"

[PyrosNine]

"...this is for Mr. Pyros!"

Pyros heard his name called. " I am called Pyros! What do you have for me? Is it clothes by anychance?"

Pyros stood where he was, out of sight. "I'm afraid I'm too indecent to come get whatever it is at the moment. Perchance you could throw it to me?"

[POS Industries]

Rei tossed the jumpsuit to Pyros with both deadly force and accuracy.

"Okeedokee," she said, turning her attention back to the rest of the group, "Everyone else, dig in!"

[PyrosNine]

Pyros got a strange, misnamed jumpsuit in the face, and crashed on top of the unconcious Syttulg. Fortunately, he didn't feel the pain when Pyros fell, but would feel it later.

Pyros quickly dressed himself in the jumpsuit but lamented that he was, as the youths said, "Freeballin" and it unnerved him. Hopefully, no one would harm him below the belt. Or perhaps he could find some undergarments soon. Regardless, Pyros put his sword and sheathe on over the jumpsuit and walked back to the group.

"I thank you, Rei, for giving me these clothes."

[Skyshot]

Skyshot fell backwards and put a hand on his chest. Hugs could, on rare occasion, be nice, but he always had been a fan of oxygen. He'd have to watch this strangely behaving newcomer. She was almost too convenient to not be an agent of utmost evil, likely the evil they were trying to destroy. He'd try for a divine consultation later."Everyone else, dig in!"He disregarded his borderline aspyxiation and dove for the briefcase. Within seconds he had emptied it of all contents, despite the many grabbing hands he had to work between.

"Whew! That was...uh..." Everyone was glaring at him. "Uh. Heh heh. Force of habit." He dumped most of it back into the briefcase, hanging on to a few of the nicer potions and victuals. After all, he had to look out for number...well, not really number one, but the number of gods he served plus one. And technically, he was looking out for them, too.

[PyrosNine]

Pyros suddenly thought of something. "Oh, one moment."

He rushed back to where Syttulg lay, and hoisted him up over his shoulder. "Forgive me, for forgetting. I shall carry you till I deem it safe to let you rest."

Pyros walked back to the group. "I think we should keep moving. What darkness lurks within the rock of this place does not stop moving either."

[Steel Shadow]

Steel looked thoughtfully at the invitingly open case. He could see there were energy drinks/bars galore inside, and his stomach rumbled quietly at him to tuck in, but the last time free food had been offered to him he'd ended up poisoned and forced into a rather unpleasant situation involving tunnels that tried to eat him and- wait, that was now.
Besides, this was POS industries.
He slowly edged away from the case, deciding that the coffee would probably see him through untill he could stop off at a little chef on the way to the next temple.

[FenrisWolf]

Fenris just stared at Rei. He'd care about the fact that they implanted devices into his eye, but really, he had seen what Rei could do, so, he just decided to fume silently to himself.

[Flarecobra]

"Sorry, but I doubt you'd have anything I'd need or want in there." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

[Mauve Mage]

Mauve eyed the contents of the briefcase warily.

"This... This isn't gonna, y'know, contain some kind of experimental neurotoxins or mind-control powder or something along those lines, is it?" she asked, inspecting the ingredients statement on a chocolate bar she pulled out of the pile.

[Arhra]

One scene transition later, the NPF'ers were thoroughly lost. That is to say, Arhra - the only person who claimed to have any knowledge about the temples' interior - was lost and the others had merely meandered after her off the edges of the map.

Of course there was no map, being, as it was, a metaphor for just how lost they were. Arhra pushed vines out of her way, wondering how exactly the makers of the temple had managed to fit a jungle in.

And what a jungle it was. The plants were thick and in a variety of colours, Arhra blaming their strange forms on the taint of Chaos. It was so easy to do.

But then the bushes parted and they arrived on what looked suspiciously like a plantation - the land cleared and trees and vines heavy with fruit planted in neat rows. Arhra picked a fruit. It felt slightly greasy and smelt like bacon.

"Uh, what the?" she settled on, deciding to bad grammar get.

[Tarrin]

The floor was getting slicker and slicker as Tarrin taversed the tunnel, Deciding that going much further was going to be a mistake Tarrin went to turn around, Slipped and went flying down the corridor at increesing speed.

As he slid down the tunnel it begain to remind him of one of those slip and slides at the water park, Only faster and harder, The harder part came as the twists forced Tarrin to be slamed against the walls repeatedly.
Then as Tarrin thought he was going to slide forever he was dumped out into the light of day, Unfortunately the light didn't include the ground and Tarrin fell yet again.

-------------------------------------------

The NPFers were pushing past some vines when a great hurling comet that was Tarrin landed in a pile at their feet.
Letting out a groan of pain Tarrin lifted his head smiled at the group and blacked out.

[Flarecobra]

"Finally!" I said, as I grabbed my armor and ran off a bit behind a bunch of trees. "And anyone who peeks gets their face burned off!" I called out at them as I shifted to human, and started to get my armor on.

[Lumaes]

Luma-es trots along at a slow pace, his speed hindered as he indulge the pressing need he felt to check that he did indeed actually exist. For all the attention he'd been payed thus far he could be forgiven for a little confusion. It was in this state of deep, inner reflection that he bumped squarely into the back of Arhra.
With a start he jumped back, his eyes lighting up with delight as the strange figure seemed instantly recognisable,
"Arhra, my dear! You have changed!" his eyes flick up and down her new shape as he talks, leaning forward to deliver two air-kisses, Mwah Mwah
"I did get your letter you know, but I was out of fish food, you know"
He seemed to find this a satisfactory explanation, for that matter so did Arhra. Luma-es continued with barely a pause,
"I do so hope you've been well! Not that the..." he waves his hands dramatically through the air as he searches for the right word, "company you're keeping does you much credit" The expressive swirly eyes cast a disdainful glance over the NPFers.
"Anyway, I've been keeping busy - working as a Riddler and Gatekeeper for the temple in fact!" he peers over her shoulder, furrowing his brow in confusion at the plantation, "Hmmm...? A plantation... Oh I do so hope the management hasn't changed! I can't afford to lose another job, the Temp agency simply wont take me back again!" he shudders dramatically.

[Hawk]

As the forumites entered the undergound jungle type place, none of them noticed the hawk that was watching them from high up in the trees. of course, one wouldn't be expected to notice the hawk that was watching them from high up in the trees, as it was quite a distance from them, staring intently at the group using his superior vision.
Nor was this just any-old hawk (well, he was quite old what with being cursed for eternity, which comes with complementary immortality). He was Hawk of Battle, a former warrior turned omen of war and conflict, known throughout the world (but obviously not to these people), for bringing destruction and death. (and in that order, not death 1st!! never death 1st, what was the fun in that??)

now you may be wondering, "what the hell is a hawk doing living underground??? it doesnt make sense!!!" well i shall explain:

Hawk had been living underground in this place ever since he had abond... ok all right, he had been forced out of his previous refuge by a court order, ordaining that he was, in actual fact, squatting in what was really the territory of some sort of rare, endangered eagle (damn those activist, "save the blah, blah, blah from extinction" people!!).he had been forced out and had searched far and wide for a new place to call home when he came accross this place, but recently something had changed down here.... something..... chaotic!!!.
And now these strange people had entered his domain. clearly something was a-foot.

"Clearly something is a-foot", Hawk thought to himself, stating the obvious. putting two and two together, (the chaoticness, the strange intruders) Hawk realised that some great battle was about to take place, (Hawk could always tell when a great battle was about to take place) and he decided to head down and introduce himself.

Taking flight, Hawk glided gently down and landed silently in front of the group (ignoring how one of them had just fallen out of somewhere overhead), and sent a psychic message to the group at-large:

"Greetings. I am Hawk. Might i ask what brings so many strange people to this strange place?"

[Skyshot]

Skyshot noted the odd fruit, peered at it a bit, shrugged, and resumed eating something he had taken from Rei's briefcase. Since Arhra seemed interested in staying put for the moment, he decided to go over his inventory to recap double-check.

In addition to a few food items, drinks, and healing potions he had taken from the briefcase, he had found something they had not likely intended to include in there -- a mood-altering potion. By the looks of things on the label, it could artificially boost his spiritual state back to something like full mana. Of course, it was also labeled "experimental," "highly risky," and "do not consume," so there was no telling what it would actually do. He'd also helped himself to one of the Ent ciders, figuring that, if he used one at full mana, the self-control he'd have would supersede the rage effects. Finally, there were the few amulets and things he'd lifted off the cultists. He would have to get those appraised in town.

This was all in addition to his alchemy jug, weaponry, and other stuff he'd come in with. He was satisfied it was all there.Arhra, my dear! You have changed!He looked up at the newcomer. Great, first an apparently evil girl with suspiciously strange movements, and now the Grim Reaper. He was never working with this crazy lady again.Not that the...company you're keeping does you much credit.Skyshot sighed. Being criticized by the Grim Reaper felt a bit like having your car broken into but only a few of your CDs stolen. He murmured something both unintelligible and unkind under his breath.Greetings. I am Hawk. Might i ask what brings so many strange people to this strange place?Skyshot whirled around.

"Hey, a birdie!" He looked around. "Uh, was that Navarre guy around? No? Geez, I hate him. Always trying to show me up. Thinks he's such a great-" He heard a cough from the birdie. "Oh, that Hawk. Well, we're on the only business a ragtag group of people can have in a strange place. Saving the world. You?"

OOC: Yes, I'm aware Luma-es is not actually supposed to be the Reaper. This is just POV stuff.

[Darth SS]

Darth was standing there, and very unnerved. Every instinct he had told him to go look at the naked Flare. But, he didn't want to be burninated. He didn't want to die. Thus, he stood there and, basically, had a seizure.

After a bit, he got up. "Okay, I'm all better. Let us continue with our hopeless efforts to find a way out of this hellish prison!"

[Hawk]

Well, we're on the only business a ragtag group of people can have in a strange place. Saving the world. You?"

"Taking some much needed R&R before continuing my mission to save myself", he replied, "but never mind that for now, a mission to save the world you say? That will mean fighting many great battles, yes?" Without waiting for an answer, "Then i will accompany you, fore i am a great warrior who enjoys much killing of evil things and persons".

Hawk spread his wings and took to the air again, flying around the group in a circle, taking in their strange apperances and quickly sizing them up, before flying back around to the one with whom he had 1st spoken with. He hovered in front of him at eye level, staring him down,

"And DONT call me birdie again or i shall peck out your eyes"!!

He appeared to say it in jest, but Hawk was deadly serious.

He peeled off and kept flying above and around the group, gliding around on small thermal drafts blowing in through cracks in the cave wall, and awaited the groups next inevitable conundrum/disater/sub-quest.

[Mauve Mage]

"Oh goodie," Mauve said flatly, inspecting the fruit from the underground grove with a wrinkled nose. "Bacon-scented fruit. That's... pleasant." A few had fallen to the ground, laying in various states of rot. She nudged one with the toe of her boot. In all honesty, she half expected it to leap up and transform into some sort of hideous bacony-planty monster, because quite frankly things couldn't get much weirder around here. However, all it did was let out a wet squelching sound as hard boot hit soft goo. Yeeeeew....

Satisfied that this couldn't be too dangerous, she wiped her foot on the ground and turned to address the newcomers. A talking hawk, and a dude made from bones. Normal people might have found them to be a bit odd. But when you've hung out on the NPF, among half-men/half-chocobos and respawning prinny/ scientist/ dragon/ leafblower maniac/ alchemist cat folks, things like talking birds or grim reapers really don't strike you as being unusual.

"Hi!" Mauve greeted, "How'd you guys get down here so fast? Staff entrance or something?"

[PyrosNine]

Pyros agreed with the Mauve colored mage. "Yes, I do wonder how you were able to enter this place so easily, given the difficulties we have faced so far. Were you able to teleport in? If I had known I would probably not have to head home between this temple and the next to get my other pair of clothes."

Pyros then turned to the nonhuman one. "Also if I may ask, who is Smitty?"

[Hawk]

"Hi!" Mauve greeted, "How'd you guys get down here so fast? Staff entrance or something?"

For the sake of eliminating possible plot holes, Hawk came up with a half arsed excuse for how he had found a way into this place;

"There's a cave system which opens up to the outside and links in with this place, but its much to small for any of you to get through and as such, is insignificant at this point."

"However, i have not explored it fully so it may open up to allow for you to use it as a possible escape route, should you need it later"

[PhoenixFlame]

As if there were a flurry of plot-holes in the air, PhoenixFlame's ears perked up, causing her head to turn away from the remarkably interesting samples of flowstone she had collected, to the new threats.

Err... Allies.

"Ah!" She exclaimed defensively, "Where did you two come from?" pointing at Lumaes and Hawk with her left arm. "Hm. Interesting." a mutter quickly overtook this momentary interest as the technomage went back to playing with her hand device and patting her plasma rifle.

"Arhra m'dear, are we lost?" She sighs with mild frustration at the sudden confusion overtaking the situation.

[POS Industries]

"Also if I may ask, who is Smitty?"

Rei, smiling warmly, turned to Pyros to answer his query. "Smitty is the night janitor at the POS Industries main office," she explained, "While we were monitoring your groups progress, it became apparent that you it had become necessary to clothe you. Pe-chan said he didn't need you running around in your birthday suit on any of his video footage. Smitty's jumpsuit looked like it would fit you well enough, and it was readily available in the third-floor janitor's closet. And don't you just look so handsome!"

The android giggled merrily as some of the strange fruit caught her eye. Picking something off of the nearest tree, Rei sniffed it slightly, then eyed it for a moment as her ocular scanners tried to ascertain exactly what the fruit was made of.

Failing that, she took a bite.

"Mmm...." she chewed slowly before finally swallowing, "I wouldn't recommend eating this. I can't say what in this would or wouldn't react badly in each of your digestive systems, but I can tell you that it tastes like those 'Beggin' Strips' things...."

Contemplating how odd all of that was, Rei continued eating.

[Bailey]

Syttulg groaned as his batteries slowly recharged from thermal energy.

"Ow, I feel like somebody shoved me in a barrel and dropped me down a mountainside. And then the barrel broke."

[Flarecobra]

I slithered back to the group, now my usual lamia self, armor put away in the weapons and armor holding bag, which is where I always put things when not in battle. At my waist there was a belt, which had a whip on it. "Feels good to be solid again.....say, what's with the bird?" I said looking at the hawk.

[Arhra]

Arhra had been gently prodding Tarrin with a stick to test if he was alive when Luma-es bumped into her from behind.

"Arhra, my dear! You have changed!" The strange being's eyes flicked up and down her new shape as he talked, leaning forward to deliver two air-kisses.

Arhra beamed as she struck a pose. There followed a lengthy description of Arhra's current shape, but unfortunately it is not included in this abridged edition. Suffice to say it covered the basics that Arhra quite liked the look of her current shape, aside from the shortness of stature. Flowery descriptions of alabaster skin, raven hair and piercing crimson eyes will have to be saved for another time.

Arhra nodded in agreement as Luma-es explained why he had not responded to the letter and commented about her current company. She cocked her head to one side and was about to commetn on Lumaes looking different whn she took a bite of the strange fruit she held and stared at it in shock. The inside seemed fairly gelatinous and Arhra slowly chewed and swallowed.

"It tastes like bacon too."

About to segue from this wonderment into violent, fruit hurling shock at a talking bird, Arhra was thankfully distracted by Phoenix's question.

"Of course we're not lost. I know exactly where I am. Its everything else that's mixed up."

"Perhaps I can help you with that my dear." Arhra turned slowly to face the unfamiliar voice. People just seemed to be popping out of the woodwork lately. The voice belonged to a prodigiously rotund man, who bore an uncanny resemblence to the Monoply man. It was probably the moustache, top hat and monocle that did it. He practically stank of capitalism and money.

"I am The Capitialist, but please, call me The. This plantation belongs to me. Some rather interesting properties in some of the plants around here have been discovered and I am trying to make a commercial venture of it. Of course, this does present me with a rather pressing dilemma."

"You see, we are still not quite ready to bring our product to market and at this critical stage we don't want any leaks to potential rivals," He gave a significant look at Rei and Phoenix. "I am willing to make a deal however. I couldn't help but overhear that you are trying to get deeper into this place. Why don't you come to my manor for lunch and we can discuss some sort of non-disclosure agreement in exchange for putting you back on the right track?"

[PyrosNine]

Pyros sighed. "Methinks I have met this 'The' or someone just like him before in my own dimension, over a field of shapechanging mushrooms with the tendency to cause hallucinations. I wish not to speak more on this subject, and I shall not do so."

Indeed Pyros wished not, for when he recovered from that incident he was in Ireland wearing a diamond studded dog collar and was a Princess's pet 'canary'. He learned to never defeat anyone with fire in a field full of special shrooms..

Pyros turned to Arhra. "But I do not think talking would be a good idea. Also, i do not think your eating of one was a very good idea either. But no one seems to care what i think, so feel free to do as you please. Even if it ends up damning you to hell."

Pyros leaned against a tree next to a strange cat with a SCAR on it's face. "Whatever you do, leave me here for a time. I'm in need of rest."

He sat down against the tree with his back propped against it, and his shoulder propped up from the ground with his sword. Then, just because he need to calm down after his bout of anger with the Dragonsbane fiend, he reached out and began to pet the large cat. Pyros had yet to be attacked by a cat of any sort in his long life, and had no fear of it happening soon.

[Bailey]

Syttulg woke up the rest of the way as his wounds healed.

"Pyros? Why am I slung over your shoulders?" A few seconds of mad scrabling later, and Syttulg was seated on Pyros's shoulders with his legs crossing in front of the fire god's chest. "That's better. Oh hey! You found a cute kitty!"

[POS Industries]

While all sorts of description regarding Arhra's new form happened, Rei had finished eating her piece of bacon fruit but now found herself with a bit of a social dilemma. You see, the bacon fruit was, in fact, quite greasy and said grease had gotten all over the android's hands and mouth.

Rei's first instinct was to simply wipe her mouth with the back of her hand, then wipe her hands on her business skirt. This, as Pedro had pointed out in the past, was something of a faux pas. Her next idea was to wipe it on somebody else's clothes but, after a bit more contemplation, Rei decided that such an act could cause more problems later on. What to do?

Then she remembered the handkerchief that Pedro had given her a while back! Of course, he had given it to her in case she ever needed to wipe blood off her hands, but grease would do. Reaching cautiously into her jacket, Rei found the handkerchief in her inside pocket and pulled it out, quickly wiping away all the grease from her hands and mouth before depositing it back within her jacket pocket.

Then "The Capitalist" appeared.

Overhearing his conversation with Arhra (with great ease due to her extra-sensitive audio receptors), Rei found herself forced to give this character her utmost attention. After all, the first directive of POS Industries is "Let no one corner the market, any market, ever..... unless it's us." Therefore, her programming left her with no option but to deal with this matter before all others.

PROCESSING SCENARIO!
SUBJECT: "The Capitalist"
APPARENT MOTIVE: Production and mass marketing of newly engineered "Bacon Fruit".
RECOMMENDED COURSE OF ACTION: Ascertain marketability of said fruit, then attempt to attain merchandising rights and/or destroy the crop and its current owner. Hug Later!

Energy crackled around the android's hands as she approached Arhra and The Capitalist. Twitching her fingers slightly as the energy faded, Rei bowed to the man as she introduced herself.

"Hi there!" she chirped, smiling cheerily, "My name's Rei! How are you today?"

[Tarrin]

Tarrin regained his sences again, Raising his head he regestered the NPFers around him, A few of the group were new and one was missing (thankfuly that one wasn't him).

Raising himself off the ground he checked that everything was were it was supposed to be, Finding himself in one piece he mixed himself with the group again.
"ooww that hurt, But atleast i've found you all again, Hope it lasts cause i really don't like this place" Tarrin rubbed his neck as he exclaimed his point.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile in the Spirit Relm

"Hey baby, Do you have any Cherokee in you? No, Do you want some?" Once again the guide was slapped across the face, As it turns out spirits can still feel pain.

Looking at his target leave he slid across the bench yet again "Hey do you have any..."

[Mauve Mage]

"Lunch?" Mauve asked disgustedly. "Will it involve bacon-fruit? Cuz I'm gonna have to say no if it does." She prodded another fallen fruit with her toe, grimacing.

[Flarecobra]

"I've got some dried fruit in my pack." I said, looking at Mauve Mage. "To be honest, I doubt even a starving hobo would eat this. No offence Fenris."

[Arhra]

Evidentally Arhra was a starving hobo.

The Capitalist tipped his hat to Rei as she introduced herself, "How pleasant to meet you miss. Now if you'll all come along, the manor is this way."

Leading them through the plantation's grounds, The Capitalist seemed happy to give them something of a small tour, "We've found there's a high degree of unusual properties cropping up in the vegetation around here. We've been trying to selectively introduce desirable qualities into our plants. With such things as that 'bacon-fruit' we're hoping to pull in the reluctant vegetarian crowd."

He pointed out the workers in the fields. "I've actually ended up using trolls as workers. These ones are partially fungoid so its easy to grow more if we need to and since they eat almost anything, we use them as waste disposal too. They're practically slaves too - virtually no rights and they work for a pittiance." The Capitalist beamed at this then looked slightly more sombre, "Only problem is they're not too bright and we get the occaisional mutant. We had one recently that wouldn't stop regenerating. Kept growing all these extra limbs that would fall off. Very messy. Ended up freezing it since we thought it might be something marketable."

The manor was getting quite close. It looked exactly like someone had transplanted an old fashioned English manor-house into this huge underground cave. In an open area along the path, they walked near a tree with oddly bulging fruit. Tethered to it was a massive troll, as wide as it was tall, that was practically a walking slab of muscle. It sat happily under the tree, munching on the fallen fruit.

"We've been researching the so called 'stat enhancing' food that adventurers seem to like so much. A bit of a niche market, but adventurers are willing to shell out a lot of money for this kind of thing. Some could have more mainstream applications too. We found this fruit appears to encourage muscle development, but regrettably diminishes mental ability. Thod here is one of our guinea pigs - we want to see if there's a saturation limit or potential problems with overdosing. Say hello Thod."

The troll grunted happily, juice-stained mouth twisting into a vague grin, and half lifted a hand as if to wave. Its ugly mottled green face went blank, seeming to forget what it was doing and dropped the hand again. Instead it popped another fruit into its mouth.

"We're beginning to think he's already at the saturation limit. Still, we're letting the test go on a little longer, then we can find out with an autopsy."

It was a little like being in a tour of a chocolate factory run by a bug-eyed madman. Of course, instead of chocolate, there was a variety of bizarre fruits and vegetables, the factory-slaves were green instead of orange and the only madness The Capitalist showed was worshipping the Almighty Dollar.

At the manor itself, The Capitalist certainly hadn't been lying about the buffet. Outside, spread on a large trestle table lay a startlingly variety of foods with artfully arranged centerpieces. Some trolls - smaller than the ones in the fields - had evidentally been carefully trained as waiters; they were still putting food on the table. The hardest part of their training had been stopping them from eating the food they were meant to bring out or the guests.

"Lucky you came along really." The Capitalist said, "Most of it would have gone to waste otherwise. We're prototyping our processing and presentation too you see. This is a test meal." He gestured at a plate piled with what looked like bacon. "We've been quite successful I feel. Much more appealing with a bit of spit and polish eh?"

He grabbed a plate, "Forgive me for going on so much, but nice to have company. Don't see many people down here and trolls are hardly the world's greatest conversationalists. Please, enjoy yourselves and then I'll go and get those NDA's for you to sign." Piling up his plate with a generous sampling of the table's delights, it was obvious The Capitalist loved his food. As if his girth hadn't been enough of a clue.

Now, Arhra was hardly one to object to a free buffet. She happily took a plate herself and started prodding things with interest and adding them to her plate. With her current metabolism, Arhra was quite scary when near any sort of 'All you can eat' deal. It was one of the perks of her energy draining incarnation - she digested food extremely quickly. You might as well try to fill a bottomless pit. Starting with some pasta, Arhra was making a spirited attempt at it though.

[Flarecobra]

"I think I know a bunch of Marines that already eat that stuff." I said looking at the musclehead troll. As they entered the dining hall, I looked a little suspect at the food. "Are you sure that this is actually safe for all species? I'm sure you can tell, we're not all exactly human...."

[Darth SS]

"Okay, well I'm human. That looks edible. Feed me. Feed me now you bastards," interjected Darth from behind Flare. As if in support of him, his stomach rumbled.

"I have a gun, and I will shoot whomever attempts to halt my retrieval of sustenance."

[Toastburner B]

TB looked at the buffet, but found himself untrusting of NPCs in general...especially ones who appear in the the middle of a quest, right after a large, regenerating boulder that seemed intent on smashing people.

"I hate to be a stick in the mud," TB said, "but, you know...we are trying to prevent the lastest apcolypse, remember? I mean, we're five chapters in and still in the first dungeon. Or do all end of world events operate on Final Fantasy timeframes...where nothing happens until we enter a certain area?"

[Flarecobra]

"That's my guess. And so to move things along..." I said, just as I quickly formed a fireball and shot it at The Capitalist. "We'll just get him out of the way, so we can be on our's."

[Hawk]

"I hate to be a stick in the mud," TB said, "but, you know...we are trying to prevent the lastest apcolypse, remember? I mean, we're five chapters in and still in the first dungeon. Or do all end of world events operation on Final Fantasy timeframes...where nothing happens until we enter a certain area?"

"Thats my guess as well, and i did think this was a bit of an unnecessary sub-quest". He looked up from behind the extra large roast chicken that he had begun to eat, beak stuffed with food and with a slightly annoyed tone he continued, "I hate unnecessary sub-quests!!". After a few seconds he shrugged (well, as much a hawk can shrug), and turned back to the chicken, ripping off chunks of meat and swallowing them whole.

He didnt even look up when a fireball flew past, figuring that, if it hit The Capitalist then they would have one less problem to deal with.

[Skyshot]

Skyshot looked at his surroundings. On the one hand, the Capitalist seemed sufficiently corrupt enough to justify stealing from. On the other hand, he needed this. He put a hand on Arhra's shoulder.

"I've already eaten, so if you plan to make any deals with this guy that don't involve my kind of person, I'm over here." He grabbed a chair, dragged it over behind a tree, and sat down to commune with the gods. Nothing like a good spiritual refreshment.

[Tarrin]

Tarrin watched as the fireball engulfed the capitalist, Reaching thru the neather he retireved his lance, Either the guy was toast, Or the Gm was gonna be pissed and they were up for some nasty, nasty combat.

Suddenly a thought hit Tarrin "Gm? What the hell am i takling about, It's not like this is some elaborite game setup just to kill or entertain the gods" pushing the thought out of his head Tarrin readied himself for whatever would come next.

[Steel Shadow]

Steel had taken to leaning against a wall watching his fellow forumites, hoping they'd do something interesting, or something big and nasty would come along and they could fight it. But since neither of these things seemed to be forth coming, he folded his arms and rested a moment. There had been quie a bit of excitment recently, and it was nice to have a reprive. Then of course, Flare attacked.
As the fireball flew past him, Steel seized his opertunity. His power enveloped Flare's attack, stopping it dead in it's tracks. He looked over at Flare.
"You know, that's not very polite. He did invite us freely into his home and all. We could have just left in peace." He paused. "Then again, he is clearly evil, and this quest does seem to be taking a while. Plus, the odds of us going *anywhere* without some sort of violence would give you money even if you didn't bet." He shrugged.
"Fine, have it your way" He sighed and, having had his say, let the fireball continue on it's course. He put his hand to his sword hilt, anticipating that the next few minutes were going to be eventful.

[Arhra]

Of course, The Capitalist had the presence of mind to take a few judicious steps to the side when Steel temporarily froze the fireball. It flew harmlessly past, not even humorously hitting a squirrel or other small animal. The Capitalist on the other hand turned bright red, swelling with rage, face red and moustache bristling. "How dare you!" he cried, "Get out of here!" He seemed to calm down slightly, a grim light glinting in his eyes and monocle as he continued in a quieter tone. "Get off my property and if you breathe a word of my business venture, you'll be hearing from my lawyers."

Arhra carefully put her plate down. A doggy bag was clearly out of the question. "Oh, great idea Flare." she said, voice dripping with sarcasm and bitterness. "Let's not have a rest and a free meal and instead wander around in the poison jungle filled with sharp toothed things!" Arhra didn't know whether it actually was poison or filled with teeth, but she had her suspicions.

"I'm surrounded by idiots!" Arhra stated loudly, casting a dirty look at Flare, Hawk, Tarrin and Steel.

She stormed off.

[GARUD]

"I'm surrounded by idiots!"

"Glad I didn't surround her then."

"I was right behind her!"

"Oh will you shut the hell UP!"

"Kay!"

Garud walked off after Arhra, but he kept silent, trying to block out the sound of Thorque singing a horribly off-tune, terribly lyriced song. It sounded like it came from a two-year old. He made his pace a little faster trying to get away from the pain in the ass that was his brother.

[Skyshot]

Skyshot felt a sudden urge to break off his prayer. Remembering what had happened the last time he ignored that feeling, he opened an eye. Arhra was leaving, followed Garud. That was bad. This man had the information they needed.

He stood up.

"Pardon me, sir. I believe you had some sort of path correction for us?

"You may notice I am wearing gray and carrying daggers. You see, I am currently employed by a certain guild that takes interest in...valuable things. I believe I could be convinced to forget to tell them about this place in exchange for that path my comrades so rudely forgot you were offering them.

"So...the non-disclosure agreement?"

[Steel Shadow]

When most people realise the last few seconds could have gone better it's normaly to late to do anything about it. Fortunatly for Steel, he wasn't most people.
.ti rebmemer t'nod ylbaborp uoy ,flesti dinwer emit nees reve ev'uoy fI

"You know, that's not very polite. He did invite us freely into his home and all. We could have just left in peace." He paused. "Then again-


"-whoops, power ran out" He finished. The thing about time traveling was that it made the rest of his powers temporaraly unusable. The fireball continued on its path, and events continued unaffected by Steels slight change of the timeline. Almost anyway.

"So do I get anything for saving your life? I'm not picky, a few pricless gemstones, a nice little jet plane, maybe a private island somewhere in the carabian would be fine."

[Hawk]

Hawk picked the last of the meat from the chicken he had, quite literally, ripped to pieces before taking flight and following after the others.

"And i saw that look you gave me as well", speaking to Ahra, "and i honestly dont know what I did wrong to deserve it!! Anyone would think I conjured the fireball and launched it at a man while his back was turned!"

Though in actual fact he was relived that they had avoided that particular sub-quest and they could now get back to the task of saving the world. He even sent a psychic private message to Flarecobra thanking her for he quick thinking, (its kind of like a normal private message, only, eerrr, sent psychicly):

"Nicely done, i must thank you. I hate annoying sub-quests!"

[Bailey]

Syttulg, still sitting on Pyros' shoulders, pointed dramatically at Flare, and sparks jumped from his outstretched index finger.

"YOU! Why did you do that? There were plants involved! PLANTS! Plants are awesome! Beware the mighty majesty of plants, lest they destroy you for your insolence!"

His arm drooped and he seemed to return to normal.

"'Kay, I'm good."

[Flarecobra]

"It would've been all right if this fucker haden't messed things up." I said, shooting a cold look at Steel. "He would've died, and we'd have this thing to ourselves where we could rest and relax for a while. Besides, I don't know if any of you all noticed, but I'm a fiend. Fiends solve problems with violence." I said, slithering alongside. "And Syttuig? I couldn't care less. I'm part fire elemental anyway and a pyromanic."

[Bailey]

"PLANTS!" He shouted again, this time throwing a bolt of electricity from his fingertips at Flare as he said it, using the nannites to channel the path of the electricity.

[Flarecobra]

My eyebrow started to twitch after I was hit, glaring coldly. "Ok then, how about....thisFIRE3!" Suddonly Syttuig's body was on fire, flames burning intensly.

[Hawk]

Hawk watched as Syttuig was engulf in flames and suddenly faced a dilemma:

sit back and watch the fight or try and help the poor guy with his use of wind powers. However the latter might just increase the size of the flames unless used properly. After a few seconds of watching the flames spread all over his body, and with no sign of aid coming from anyone else, Hawk sighed:

"oh fine!"

Hawk gathered the power of the winds around himself. For a moment everyone in the area felt a great draught blow from no-where and everywhere at once. 2 seconds was all it took to gather the strength he deemed neccesary. Hawks wings spread wide and a huge gale issued forth from beneath his wings. Syttuig was almost thrown from Pyros' shoulders but it seemed Pyros had a firm enough grip to hold him. As the winds struck they changed direction and spiralled upwards and around Syttuig and the fires covering Syttuig's body were suddenly extinguished with the blast.

"Like trying to light a fire in a tornado", Hawk smirked.
"Shall we continue onwards?"

[Tarrin]

Seeing the battle turn into a fight between the NPFer's and notr some abomination Tarrin turned and caught up to Arhra, "Why the look? I was only prepairing for the worst after the fireball, Defence is surely not that bad is it" Waiting for Arhras' reply he decided to let it drop and just follow.

[PyrosNine]

PYros sighed. Syttulg had of course been on his shoulders this whole time, and so he'd been hit by the fire3 and the wind as well. The fire caused no pain, but being blown so fiercely at was not fun.

Pyros reached on his back and picked Syttulg off. "I'm happy to carry you around till you reach full strength, but if you desire to start a conflict, no matter how much plants rule, please get off of me first. I demand an apology before I will return you to my back for you fire related injuries."

[Lumaes]

Lumaes's eyes displayed volumes of abject horror and misery, he had been hunched over a tower of profiteroles, cramming them into his mouth reverently. They disappeared absolutely upon passing into that gaping hole, no sign of them entering the emphereal body could be registed. There was nothing in the world more exquisite than a profiterol manufactured in the home of a capitalist; Socialism might be friendly but she didn't have much to offer but ginger-root-tea and he despised ginger.
Scooping one last puffy, delicious cream-filled delight into his mouth he straightened sadly, internally adding Flare to his list. He began to move away from the feast table, one metre into his exit he stopped - reaching mournfully for the delicious pastry tower. Catching the look in the rightly offended The Capitalist's face he frowned. Sailing swiftly out the door after Arhra.
"Arhra, dear, your companions are doing nothing to assure me that you are of sound mind! They are all just so incompetant."
The specter made no effort to conceal his opinions.

[Mauve Mage]

Mauve quietly edged away from Flare and Newb, because she really didn't want to get killed in an epic NPFer teamkill battle like the one that was sure to happen in the very near future.

"I think I'll just go... um.. walk. Over there. Where I am less likely to die. I mean, um, less likely to get in the way of your important business. Because I don't want to die."

[Bailey]

"I'm sorry Pyros. I didn't realize that Hawk would intervene, and I figured that fire wouldn't bother you much. Can you stop holding me by the scruff of my neck now? I feel like a kitten."

[PyrosNine]

"Perhaps." Pyros sighed. "But kittens know better." Pyros returned Syttulg to his back and stood up.

"But for now, I have business to attend to. Namely, some fitting justice." Pyros said with a smile. Pyros was never one for some mischief, but he'd wished he'd done this a long time ago. Reaching over to a familiar looking mushroom growing in it's own lot, Pyros plucked it in one swipe as he walked to the Capitalist's home.

"Mr. Capitalist, I believe I have something for you." Pyros said with a hint of sarcasm, as he went up to the front door. One hand was one the shroom, another hand on the sheathe on his blade. Pyros gave the door a knock. Then proceeded to kick it down.

[Bailey]

Syttulg directed a couple of nannites to scan the mushroom, and then his eyes opened wide.

He grabbed a piece of wood barely hanging on from the shattered doorframe and instructed his nannites to turn it into a pair of gas masks.

They did the mask part easily enough, but who knew whether or not they had been able to make it effective?

He put one on himself and the other on Pyros.