My First Sprite Comic

[Crystal Chronicler]

This is my first try at a spite comic. Please rate and review.

heres the link:

http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n242/ElementDueler/spritecomic.gif

edit heres the png one:
http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n242/ElementDueler/spritecomic.png

edit again: hertes a real better version
http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n242/ElementDueler/spritecomic1version1.jpg

[Nikose Tyris]

Um. It reads funny, for starters. it looks a little dirty, too. I don't know the right word for it, but it's fuzzy and unclear. I thought it was my resolution, but no, it's the way you saved it. Save in .PNG to make it clearer. ((PAINT has .png as an option, it's incredibly small too)). Hm, what else; Your Script reads poorly, to reitterate that...

But for a first try, not bad. Try not to use the sprite bubbles so messy, and the crap is with that last panel?

And finally, I think there's a thread for this kind of thing already, a stickied one.

EDIT: Nope, no sticky, you did good to make your own post, never mind. XD

[Jagos]

In the first few bubbles, I couldn't tell who was talking and in what order. If the blue Dragoon went first, I'd say put his at the top. Delivery is off...

"You... Saw this... In a Dream..."

*Moves over towards funny man and grabs him*

*Transforms into SNES version*

"We're going back to town, I'm going back to bed. Understood?"

*In a small text*

"Yes..."

But it isn't too shabby. Keep it up!

[Fifthfiend]

In the first few bubbles, I couldn't tell who was talking and in what order. If the blue Dragoon went first, I'd say put his at the top. Delivery is off...

"You... Saw this... In a Dream..."

*Moves over towards funny man and grabs him*

*Transforms into SNES version*

"We're going back to town, I'm going back to bed. Understood?"

*In a small text*

"Yes..."

But it isn't too shabby. Keep it up!

It reads left to right between panels, but right to left within panels, between word bubbles.

Took me a minute to get that.

[Jagos]

Ah...

I've read way too much manga recently...

[Crystal Chronicler]

Um. It reads funny, for starters. it looks a little dirty, too. I don't know the right word for it, but it's fuzzy and unclear. I thought it was my resolution, but no, it's the way you saved it. Save in .PNG to make it clearer. ((PAINT has .png as an option, it's incredibly small too)). Hm, what else; Your Script reads poorly, to reitterate that...

But for a first try, not bad. Try not to use the sprite bubbles so messy, and the crap is with that last panel?

And finally, I think there's a thread for this kind of thing already, a stickied one.

EDIT: Nope, no sticky, you did good to make your own post, never mind. XD

the last pannel screw up was suposed to be flames. ill also try to clean it up

[Crystal Chronicler]

In the first few bubbles, I couldn't tell who was talking and in what order. If the blue Dragoon went first, I'd say put his at the top. Delivery is off...

"You... Saw this... In a Dream..."

*Moves over towards funny man and grabs him*

*Transforms into SNES version*

"We're going back to town, I'm going back to bed. Understood?"

*In a small text*

"Yes..."

But it isn't too shabby. Keep it up!
thats sort of what i wanted to do but the comic was tolate in the process to do it

[Nikose Tyris]

Don't double post, merge your two posts together with the edit button; you can see where it is.

and you've already used it once.

PNG is better than JPG in all ways, for obvious reasons. ((Smaller, LOOKS BETTER, etc)) Your Unique way of reading? It's confusing and not that great to begin with. Yes, Fifth got it after a few minutes. it's unique, it's new, I'm an old fucker on the porch and I don't like it. :P Other people might, but I'd say that in general, don't mess with the way things read. do it Manga style, or do it normal.

Use straight line in paint to draw a line for where the ground and sky seperate, then dump color. make your backgrounds first. Then add sprites. use Sprite trees, or put more detail into your trees. it goes a long way to making things look better.

and finally, Welcome to the forums.

[+1 Name]

"You... Saw this... In a Dream..."

*Moves over towards funny man and grabs him*

*Transforms into SNES version*

"We're going back to town, I'm going back to bed. Understood?"

*In a small text*

"Yes..."

What the hell are you talking about?

[DFM]

I think he's helping CC to improve the dialogue.

[Fifthfiend]

CC - as Nikose has noted, double posting is sort of a no-no around here (http://forum.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=280&postcount=5):

The Double-Posting Thing: we don't like double-posting because it's kinda spammy and pointlessly takes up space. Double-posting looks kind of like this:

SomeUser: blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
(posted at 5:15:05 PM)
SomeUser: oh, and blahblahblahblahblahblah too
(posted at 5:15:07 PM)

See? So what you do, if you have something to say right after your first post, is you go back and edit it into the first post using the "edit" button to the bottom right of your message.

So please go back and edit whenever you happen to see this, and do be mindful in the future.

[Heliomance]

I sort of assumed that the text was supposed to be read normally, the sage, being a sage and therefore all-knowing, was answering the questions before they were being asked.

[hbomb]

meh, it's allright for a first try.

[Supreme Edgemaster]

My personal opinion. No funniness until the last segment where the guy (name slips my mind at this moment) says "were leaving or i'll kill you"

EDIT: As to the reading style, I and everyone else I think expected to read it in north america style, not manga style. Try to do the reading left to right next time, that will make it much easier to read.

[talse]

the concept seems a tad done, and the execution, particularly with the word bubbles is confusing and obscures what new things you might have done with the genre.