#715: "You better lock me up before I do something horrible."

[Kurosen]

Cartography must be the most annoying job in the world of 8BT.

[MuMu]

Getting better and better with the real backgrounds.

Wait...he didn't cast feather fall >_>...

[DarkCORN!]

"I'm the smartest person in the world."
That's bloody brilliant.

[KillBill]

Could be an internal spell

[DarkCORN!]

Punctuation. Full sentences. Now.
Also, the blood is STILL on the windows? Messy, Brian, you should clean your comic more often.

[Bamboozehound]

Well, to be fair, BM just cleaned the windows, and the rest of the town.

The only difference between me and BM seems to be his raw talent for murder. Other than that though, it's like looking into a low-bit mirror!

[Dagoth]

Aww, no more Cobbler Mage. :( Oh well, can't wait to see where he lands. :D

[White Angel]

Aww, no more Cobbler Mage. :( Oh well, can't wait to see where he lands. :D

knowing his luck he'll land where the rest of the LW are

[Regulus Tera]

Well, first Prontera, then Dwarfland, then that town over the north, and now this. Black Mage should be glad of being a megalomaniacal genocide. Just take out the megalomaniacal, and all should be okay.

This also gives us two options as to where is he going to fall:

1) Right where the Light Warriors are.

2) Over the Onion Kid's new foster family.

or 3) (Nya hah! Pfft! Foolish reader, daring to believe my words [I WUV YOU BRIAN!]) Over Elfland.

[Chaoswizard]

Is it me or is his hadoken stronger

[Fifthfiend]

looking into a low-bit mirror!

Oh wow, they should totally make those.

[Bamboozehound]

They should, but right now such things only exist in our sweetest dreams.

[Roland]

... I love Black Mage.

He did the one thing Morrowind never let me do. Blow up a city just to escape the wrath of ordinary guards. I mean, sure, I could make a powerful spell with a huge radius, but I could never wipe Balmora off the map.

[Flarecobra]

Clever move.

That's all I got to say. Clever move.

[PyrosNine]

I'm one who thinks he will not only land upon the other light warriors, but also break all the bones in his body, and not be given medical help for a good 12 comics, and spend them all cursing.

[Mauve Mage]

He should land in Corneria. Then King Steve can label it a full-scale air invasion and go to war with whichever country he isn't already at war with.

[Mx_xD]

Well CW, I think it's the same, don't you remember the chapter where BM miss the volcano with his hadoken and then it landed to that world of the Giant Lizards? (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040617)... well anyways... BM RULES!!!!!, he made a great sacrifice in destroy "his" cobble shop... but it was for his own good.
I HOPE HE WILL LAND IN THE NEW FAMILY OF THE ONION KID!!!
---------------
I love the suffer, specially yours.

[YF-23]

"I'm the smartest person in the world."

Gotta love BM's self-sarcasm.:D

[Halo2994]

what a great way to end a story line...with death

BM is made of win and god

-halo

[Black Sword]

Spectacular! When the going gets tough, BM definitely has great cunning and skill. Especially when it comes to keeping his hide intact.

[cheezewizz2000]

Is it me or is his hadoken stronger
Yes it would be. After all, this is how BM levels up:
http://www.nuklearpower.com/redmage20.php
I can only assume he'd be at least an 11th level sorceror/4th level black mage by now, so he'd be doing 4D6 damage per hadoken, what with all the random killing of innocents. He must be getting some exp for staying in character. Also, Fighter has to have quite a high CR, given that he's a PC. Stabbin' him's gotta give loads of exp. I don't know why RM hadn't thought of it sooner.

[bananarama]

Oh noes! The wacky escapades of Bundy Mage hath ended!! Oh yeah and my first actual post in this forum. Weeehooo(that was a scream...of JOY)

[Waylander]

YAY!!!

It's been building up to this for sooooo long its a relief now hes finally done it.

[Long-Haired Narcissist]

Yes it would be. After all, this is how BM levels up:
http://www.nuklearpower.com/redmage20.php
I can only assume he'd be at least an 11th level sorceror/4th level black mage by now, so he'd be doing 4D6 damage per hadoken, what with all the random killing of innocents. He must be getting some exp for staying in character. Also, Fighter has to have quite a high CR, given that he's a PC. Stabbin' him's gotta give loads of exp. I don't know why RM hadn't thought of it sooner.
I thought it had more to do with BM casting featherfall beforehand than his level.
EDIT: First Hadoken in 75 comics. I love you Brian. You're a genius. Can I worship you? What about start a religion with you as the main deity

[iwishiknew]

Actually quite clever of Blackmage, though I doubt even Feather Fall will stop him from landing in extreme pain

[greed]

Yay, the smartest guards in the world are dead, nothing can stop BM now, except the fact he's going to land near the other LWs.

[Bamboozehound]

I doubt they were the smartest guards in the world. They're probably the normal type of guards, which explains a lot. At least I think that every place BM has destroyed hates him or would hate him (even hell doesn't want him). And his stabbing isn't very useful against Fighter classes. Rusty knives work on the elderly and cobblers, maybe, but not people who carry swords and wear armor. Nuking guards is just a reflex for BM, and town guards are always in towns.

[cheezewizz2000]

Y'see, now everyone is saying that he'll land near the other Lite Warriors, Brian will change it so he doesn't.

As far as I'm aware, these are the most plausible options:
Lands on Onion Kid's new home and family,
Lands on Fighter, Theif or RM,
Lands on White Mage, makes sereral innuendos,
Lands directly in front of Sarda's cave.

As these are the most plausible options, none of them will happen. It'll be something really weird, like... landing on Akbar's Discount Plot Device Store (not dream shattering, convieniant transport), that will 'port BM directly to the Lite Warriors in an extremely painful way.

[Art of Hilt]

"I'm the smartest person in the world!"
Yes you are, Black Mage... yes you are...

[Sky Warrior Bob]

Cartography must be the most annoying job in the world of 8BT.

No more annoying than it is in this world. Unless you mean the open heart surgery kind.

SWB
Proudly wearing his, 'Everything I learned about Cartography, I learned from Monkey Island 2' T-shirt.

[Gedditoffme]

I'm glad that phase is over: the guard's conversation was 'witty', but not actually funny or interesting IMO. I'm glad to see a hadoken again though (even though they all look the same: a few blue lines and a mushroom cloud is all I ask :D ).

I think they will probably wind up near the Light warriors: though falling into a Corneria vs. Elfland war would be great. Can anyone imagine BM going on a stabbing frenzy and ripping to shreds both armies? Or perhaps allying with Corneria just to stab the elves.

[Mannix]

Isn't the Onion Kid in jail for the serial slayings of his adoptive families? I'm pretty sure I saw that on one of the various newspaper shots. That doesn't mean BM can't land on the warden or parole board setting OK up for a deeper darker dungeon, I guess.

If I had to guess, and I do, I'd say that BM is going to land with the other LW.

But knowing Brian's hatred for expectations and fullfilling them, anything is up for grabs at this point.

[Tiako]

Whoa...BM actually hit something. Also, anybody know where BM is flying over? For whatever reason, "Scotland" popped into my head.

As a side note, I think the LW's will get a chance of doing a competent job before BM comes to ruin it.

And as long as we're discussing cartography, is there a map of 8-bit land?

[Meister]

Isn't the Onion Kid in jail for the serial slayings of his adoptive families? I'm pretty sure I saw that on one of the various newspaper shots.
Which was a guest comic and, thus, not necessarily canon.

Can't stress it enough. Of course, there's technically no proof he isn't in jail.

[Black-Blue Mage]

We all knew BM would end up blowing up the guards, so no surprises there.

What I'm wondering is where BM will land. Given that everything happens to hurt BM, he'll land with the other LW's.

[Mac]

Ahh gotta love that little Deus Ex Machina of a spell.

[YF-23]

And as long as we're discussing cartography, is there a map of 8-bit land? It's gotta be *somewhat* like the FFI map. All you need to do is add a few dwarf towns, a second volcano, an Antarctica like continent, an extra town for the "Orgy of Violence" and a radio tower. If I'm missing anything, feel free to add it up.

[Seran]

Just marvelous. Beautiful and astounding.

That move has few downfalls to it. He blows away those who questioned him, and blows away whatever witnesses exist. The only evidence left to point to him is a pile of ash, and a pile of ash could mean anything. I applaud ye, Black Mage, for you have won my disgust mingled with great envy and, past those two factors, pleasure.

[GARUD]

He didn't cast feather fall :P

Ah well, it's the end of an era. The very short, BM's wacky hijinks era, but still an era. Now, the public demands more chevaunistic actions from the Dark Mage to our beloved Light Mage. Shinadigans away!

Oh, and good comic too.

[Miniace2009]

Well, first Prontera, then Dwarfland, then that town over the north, and now this. Black Mage should be glad of being a megalomaniacal genocide. Just take out the megalomaniacal, and all should be okay.

This also gives us two options as to where is he going to fall:

1) Right where the Light Warriors are.

2) Over the Onion Kid's new foster family.

or 3) (Nya hah! Pfft! Foolish reader, daring to believe my words [I WUV YOU BRIAN!]) Over Elfland.

Maybe he can get the first 2 with one hit!
While he's flying a day and night pass so he can use hadoken again, when it looks like hes going to fall, there is a mass of angry people waiting to catch him in open....pitchforks. He then uses Hadoken again blowing up the town and subsequently Onion kid's house. Heck the town could be in Elfland and we could kill 3 with one hit!

[Long-Haired Narcissist]

Y'see, now everyone is saying that he'll land near the other Lite Warriors, Brian will change it so he doesn't.
Brian doesn't immediately discredit an idea because noone thinks of it. He has used many of the ideas thought of by fans.

[BlackBelt McMonk]

Oh Black Mage, you so craaazy. Though, this seems like it's the first time he's really thought it through before Hadoken-ing the crap out of someone/something.

Also, I agree with the news post 100%. I've never been a huge fan of Sony, but what they're pulling with the PS3 is just arrogant. They're acting like Nintendo circa 1996. Conversely, Nintendo seems to be making all the right moves in regards to the Wii. *prepares means to explode anyone who makes a joke about the Wii's name*

[bass_virus]

Well BM just killed a town full of actually inteligent guards.

[Fifthfiend]

Oh Black Mage, you so craaazy. Though, this seems like it's the first time he's really thought it through before Hadoken-ing the crap out of someone/something.

Also, I agree with the news post 100%. I've never been a huge fan of Sony, but what they're pulling with the PS3 is just arrogant. They're acting like Nintendo circa 1996. Conversely, Nintendo seems to be making all the right moves in regards to the Wii. *prepares means to explode anyone who makes a joke about the Wii's name*

Oh, wiiiiiiill you, now?

[bananarama]

Oh, wiiiiiiill you, now?

Oh my god. Just by reading that I felt my gut was being punched repeatedly. Please PLEASE don't do that again.

[Kirbyslaboratory]

The phrase, "I am the smartest person in the world" has got to be one of the best quotes in a while.
Timing is everything with it, too.

[The Truth Is In Here]

I think he did cast featherfall (look at hands) so that he would be pushed backward so fast he would fly and wouldn't die and go to hell... again.

[Fifthfiend]

Oh my god. Just by reading that I felt my gut was being punched repeatedly. Please PLEASE don't do that again.

^He don't know me very well, do hiiiiiiiiiiii?

[Kurosen]

Wii are not amused.

[Mannix]

Oh my god. Just by reading that I felt my gut was being punched repeatedly. Please PLEASE don't do that again.

If you don't like it, you should make like a little piggy and go Wii Wii Wii all the way home.

[bananarama]

The sheer weight of the Wii jokes are suffocating me! Mercy! Please?

[The SSB Intern]

Ok, wii will stop.

You know, even with featherfall, that hadosplosion had to hurt quite a lot.

[bananarama]

Wii, the jokes have stopped!

Actually since I have a warped thought process, I am betting that ex-Bundy Mage will into the abyss he created in the Von Vampires residence into hell. There he will meet Lich and Kary and fight them in massive doom battle (there always has to doom in these things) for rule over hell. What? It's possible because Lich promised he would meet the LWs again.

[Black-Blue Mage]

Actually since I have a warped thought process, I am betting that ex-Bundy Mage will into the abyss he created in the Von Vampires residence into hell. There he will meet Lich and Kary and fight them in massive doom battle (there always has to doom in these things) for rule over hell. What? It's possible because Lich promised he would meet the LWs again.

It would actually be hilarious where such outcome would go to. It's tied with BM landing in front of Sarda's cave. At least in my opinion.

And it'd be great to see the battle. Lich and Kary (Not to mention, countless other jerks from hell whose spines Black Mage broke) vs BM. BM would have no way to finish the battle immediately, so another orgy of violence would have to happen.

Come to think of it, is there time in Hell? In 8BT's Hell, I mean.

[BlackBelt McMonk]

*hits the self-destruct button I secretly installed on the thread without anyone knowing it, secretly, to prevent the Wii jokes* *nothing happens* Ah dammit. Well, I'm out of ideas.

...I wonder what the chances are of BM randomly bumping into the Dark Warriors as a result of the explosion.

[YF-23]

It would actually be hilarious where such outcome would go to. It's tied with BM landing in front of Sarda's cave. At least in my opinion.

And it'd be great to see the battle. Lich and Kary (Not to mention, countless other jerks from hell whose spines Black Mage broke) vs BM. BM would have no way to finish the battle immediately, so another orgy of violence would have to happen.

Come to think of it, is there time in Hell? In 8BT's Hell, I mean.
There has to bii. Karii ariived there after Liich diid. That shows a flow iin tiime. So does the fact that BM was the ruler of Hell for twentii miinutes. Thiise twentii miinutes lastiid for twentii miinues; agaiin, duaratiion.

[Gedditoffme]

There has to bii. Karii ariived there after Liich diid. That shows a flow iin tiime. So does the fact that BM was the ruler of Hell for twentii miinutes. Thiise twentii miinutes lastiid for twentii miinues; agaiin, duaratiion.

Owwwww, mii eyiis hiirt

[greed]

Wyy Eff Twentii Thrii stop with the Wii jokes alreadii or Wii Wiill ROCK YUU!!

*cough*
Anyway the possibility of BM in his current horizontal flight leaves open the possiblity of a BM flying through random places montage

-Through Onion Kid's new wolf parents who decided to raise him
-Over the rape and pillage of Elfland, with BM laughing all the while
-Over the LWs with Fighter commenting that something now feels right, and WM getting a bad feeling.
-Over Matoya and Bahamut on a "picnic", with much vomiting from BM
-Past the sky fortress and Tiamat
And finally landing in front of an angry Sarda, "I thought I told you to get off my lawn!" while teleporting BM back to the LWs.

And then BM cries.

Edit: Ninja'd by Geddiitoffmii, oh well.

[Seran]

If I take any more of these wounds from the Wii jokes, I'm going to die and come back with a fury beyond...well, Satan doesn't notice me...

The thought of Black Mage landing on Sarda's lawn is amusing, even if Sarda lives in a cave. I mean, how can caves have lawns? Would it really be classified a lawn if people were oblivious to the fact that someone lives in that cave?

[YF-23]

If I take any more of these wounds from the Wii jokes, I'm going to die and come back with a fury beyond...well, Satan doesn't notice me...

The thought of Black Mage landing on Sarda's lawn is amusing, even if Sarda lives in a cave. I mean, how can caves have lawns? Would it really be classified a lawn if people were oblivious to the fact that someone lives in that cave? Sarda does have lawn... Tenth panel... http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=060429

Sii?

[greed]

Sii?

What did I say! Now I'll..... oh wait this is the internet.... I'm powerless...crap.

[Black-Blue Mage]

*Is drowned by the flood of Wii jokes*

Anyway, any outcome would be funny, and possibly hurtful to BM.

-Through Onion Kid's new set of parents (No need to explain this one).
-Over the rape of Elfland (It'd be fun if the Cornerian soldiers mistook BM for an elf, or something, due that his face is hidden. Or they tried to take his hat off).
-Over the LW's and WM (Fighter's remark would be hilarious and WM's attack on BM would be equally fun).
-Over Matoya and Bahamut (We all know what's going to happen on this one).
-Inside the hell hole on the Von Vampire residence (Already explained this one).
-Ha! No one's thought of this! On the prison where The Sulk/Onion Kid is being held (Therefore setting either of them free, with no physical damage whatsoever, at least to Onion Kid).
-Landing in front of Sarda (In this scenario, Sarda could do anything to BM).

I'm thiinking too much.

[roguepornstar]

"And then say Hardoken"

Excellent! All hail the glorious return of the hardoken, and may it never leave us again

[Flarecobra]

....Where are you getting "Hardoken" From? I see it as "Hadoken" on the comic.

[Tiako]

....Where are you getting "Hardoken" From? I see it as "Hadoken" on the comic.
My guess is that it is a "Hadoken" of jokes. It's a bit tricky to say my thoughts, but its what you call a good (Or possibly bad) joke, as long as its absolute joke value is high.

So, for instance, if somebody said, say, "I think Wii should stop making jokes about Nintendo's newest console", then that would be (bii?) a hardoken.

Of course, this is all speculation.

[Black-Blue Mage]

My guess is that it is a "Hadoken" of jokes. It's a bit tricky to say my thoughts, but its what you call a good (Or possibly bad) joke, as long as its absolute joke value is high.

So, for instance, if somebody said, say, "I think Wii should stop making jokes about Nintendo's newest console", then that would be (bii?) a hardoken.

Of course, this is all speculation.


Or, it could be a simple gramatical error.

[bananarama]

....Where are you getting "Hardoken" From? I see it as "Hadoken" on the comic.

Oh didn't you know? I mean it's the only most powerful spell ever and it costs zero MP! All you have to do is find any ordinary rock (not a dirt clod, a rock), pick it up, and then throw with full strength and pinpoint accuracy at your foes head. Also if the rock is big enough, the groin area is also a prime target.

...You know now that I think about it, I find this joke extremely pathetic and I am ashamed of it. So if it's any consolation, I'll going outside and cast hardoken on myself.

[Solara]

I'm wondering if he's going to wind up crashing through the roof of King Steve's castle. Seeing as we just saw him and Princess Sara again for no apparent reason and after who knows how long, it would make sense.

And then I'm hoping Black Mage joins forces with Sara...they're both evil, they're both just about the only intelligent characters in the entire strip, so how awesome would that be?

[Preturbed]

Rocket jump ftw.

[Staizer]

wait, did I miss something? BM one of the intelligent characters? As far as I can see, Sara is the ONLY intelligent character. BM believes too many things thief says to be considered intelligent.

[Gedditoffme]

LOL, I don't think BM has believed thief much at all. Perhaps there's a few odd occasions, but he usually sees right through thief's pathetic schemes. It's just that noone believes him when he does see these schemes.

[Viridian Mage]

LOL, I don't think BM has believed thief much at all. Perhaps there's a few odd occasions, but he usually sees right through thief's pathetic schemes. It's just that noone believes him when he does see these schemes.

Exactly. BM almost always catches on to Thief's schemes. However, this could just be because of his good hearing (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=021105). However, I don't think he's too far off when he says "I'm the smartest person in the world," but like Staizer said, I believe that Sara is smarter, still.

[death_trooper]

Sara is easily the smartest, she knows how to win, and if she fails, Knows how to get away.

[YF-23]

Sara iis by far the smartest... Or iit could by Kiing Steve... He can just say he's the smartest and that's iit... But iin non-law terms, Sara may bii equalled onlii by Left Hand Man Garii. Hii iis smart, just a bit too loyal.

[Black-Blue Mage]

Sara is easily the smartest, she knows how to win, and if she fails, Knows how to get away.

Well it is pretty easy to get away from the... Uh... Easily distracted LW's.

But I do support the Sara - BM team up. You'd have two people who can slaughter anyone and anything, both physically and magically. Plus, Sara's smart and BM's not completely stupid.

They might even be able to take down a Warmech!

[Seran]

That's just annoying now. (The double-I jokes.)
Well, Princess Sara does seem to be the most intelligent character in the comic by far. I'm not sure what to say about beings such as Bahamut or Sarda, but Sara is quite beyond the intelligence levels of most others characters. Or maybe all other characters. Why is Sara unusually similiar to Sarda in name?

[Gedditoffme]

Why is Sara unusually similiar to Sarda in name?


dum
Dum
DDDUUUMMM

Amusing as it would be, it is unlikely that Sarda is Sara. Although it would explain why he keeps trying to kill the warriors of destiny.

[Tk-421]

I don't think Sara would be Sarda. I mean, Sarda has a long mustache. I have never seen a women with a mustache, and I hope I never do. Besides they just don't act in the same way.

[Preturbed]

Nothing more than a clever ruse.

[invghost]

Couldnt RM be the smartest by just changing the char sheet to give him max int?

[Janus]

he he wii....but there is no time for that!