#711: "I have nothing to hide."

[Kurosen]

My favorite thing about Black Mage's evil is how bad he is at it.

[Roy_D_Mylote]

Am I the only one who can't see the comic?

Edit: Okay, nevermind.

Is everyone on BitWorld really, really dumb? Not a single person sans WM, Sarda, or BM has been anything approaching intelligent. Thief has on certain occasions, but not enough.

300 posts, w00t.

[Chrismith]

"You think he has a point? His point is that the corpse can't be a corpse because it's a corpse. That's no point at all!"

I believe this guard wins the award for Brightest City Guard Yet.

[Joshua]

Dang city guards, being smarter than black mage.

That corpse is creepy.

[Burkion]

But it's not a corpse! It's a dummy!

...yeah...

Smart Guard. He must be killed.

[happy_turtle]

Well it looks like everyone was right. The face shoes DID come from the previous cobbler. Sad part is, I was watching an x-files about people having their skin peeled off...

*shudder*

[JKLantern]

"Besides, it's a mannequin."

That sold it.

[catlover20410]

There it is. There's the ETH,HTHBM rule.

[Waylander]

So its not a corpse because its a corpse? These town guards really have moved up in the world haven't they from the good old "Welcome To Corneria (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010412)" to metaphysical ponderings :p.

It really is scary to think that even though Black Mage is ATROCIOUSLY bad at lying and covering up the guards are actually more stupid than he is. This leads to a understanding of how the "light" warriors manage to get through all they have been through. Judging by the people they have met so far everyone in the world is a half-wit (King steve, Assorted townguards, the dwarves most of the elves), a retarded villian (Garland, Bikke, Vilbert, Drizzl), an annoying and also stupid townsperson (Go figure), a wierd old person who lives in a cave (Sarda, Matoya, that wierd guy who lives in the volcano (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040610), an imaginary figment of one of the characters imaginations (Megahedron, Darko, Dr Swordopolis etc).

In fact the only three people in the world that aren't stupider than the "heroes" are Kary, Lich and Evil Princess Sara. These three should combine together and defeat the "heroes" the only thing holding them back is the fact the Lich and Kary are in Hell (even though Lich rules it). I think though that EPS could still beat them even with the class change.

[Nayno]

HOLD IT!

That corpse has eyes. As we well know, the old woman's face-shoes ALSO had eyes. The eyes cannot be in the corpse and in the shoes at the same time. Ergo, this is not the man whose face became shoes.

..BM's story checks out. ~_o

[Skyshot]

There's the ETH,HTHBM rule.Buh?

Is everyone on BitWorld really, really dumb?I've yet to think of a character smarter than EPS, who actually is smart.

If you think about it, Black Mage was being kinda honest in the second-to-last panel. He didn't have his knife as he was saying that, as he was throwing it aside.

Is anyone else tempted to point out how the cobbler still has eyes despite them being on the shoes and therefore miss the whole idea of a "joke?" EDIT: Ninja'd by Nayno.

[Flarecobra]

....Brian....You have one sick, twisted mind. WE LOVE YOU FOR IT!!

Though interesting way to show that his face was peeled off....had something diffrent in mind, or was it just graphical limitations?

[greed]

But seriously it's hadoken time, these detectives are a bit too smart for BM to fool like all the others.

[DarkCORN!]

What do you mean? The shoes BM made didn't have eyes in them. He even said it: "Those are um...uh NOT eyes." [/sarcasm]
Anyway, funny comic. "besides, that's a mannequin."

[Kurosen]

Actually, I was wondering how long it would take for talk of eyes to come up. I tried Mr. Cobblepot with eye-holes at first, finished the whole comic like that, then tried putting eyes in just to see how it looked. It felt funnier/more ludicrous that way, so I redid him with eyes despite the earlier episode.

As always, comedy trumps continuity. It usually takes longer than this to do it though ;D

[Flarecobra]

Besides, it was never said that BM had other customers BEFORE the old women......

[Mondt]

Pshaw. The corpse was a great addition. I think that it not only added to the funniness, but also the awesomeness factor. Seriously, 8-Bit has been bumped up on the coolness scale for me. We have dead bodies now. That we can see. And aren't flaming.

[cheezewizz2000]

There it is. There's the ETH,HTHBM rule.

For those who couldn't work it out, what catlover meant to say was "Everything That Happens, Happens To Hurt Black Mage".

This is a crapronym, which is a compound word formed of "crap" and "acronym", y'know, cos it's a crap acronym.

[happy_turtle]

I found the ETH,HTHBM quite easy to read so don't include me with the ingrates. And second, technically there have been corpse's faces shown. Lich is a corpse...and they show his face.

EDIT: So is Vilburt von Vampire

[MetalPsycho]

Man, that was a wonder in itself, wasn't it?

BM needs to get these guys out of here. With death.

[Zebasiz]

So..That guards are smart AND stupid, at the same time? Makes me think of Fighter.

Also, Anyone else notice that there is a cute white teddybear in BM's shoestore?

[Skyshot]

Knowing BM, it'll be a cute red teddybear with a distinct iron-ish smell before long.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

Besides, it was never said that BM had other customers BEFORE the old women......

So BM has a whole line of Face shoes in the back? Hmm... Wonder if he's looking for endorsement deals.

And while to a certain extent, I love these BM scenes, I hope we eventually break to what the other LWs are doing. I'd be pretty disappointed if they just popped by holding a brand new shiney orb.

I mean, are they going to have a scene where they haggle with Jeff for the fairy or not? Will RM make out with one of the mermaids? Or will the RM + Thief theories continue? And will the guys comment on just how rank an undersea temple actually smells? (All that moisture has to have created at least some mold.)

SWB

[Kroze Gamegod]

In talk of beings who are smrt in the 8-Bit Universe (It IS a Universe, right Brian?), I think we must include 3 more to the list and delete Kary from it for the following:

Add Magus (Who I refuse to call Darko, Dark God of the Dark cause it would only hurt my my quest to prove he is more badass then Sephroth and because it came from BM's mouth) cause he really did show he was smrt in the few comics he did appear in by knowing just about more then everybody.
Plus everyone knows middle management for anything is smart.

Add Drizzl since he shows he smrt by trying to talk the dork warriors out of everything Garland suggests which has been stupid since the first moment he spoke in the comic and the only reason he got defeated was due to the True Guardian he bought being fake, which brings me to my last canadate to support for the honorable title of "Being Smrt"...

Ackbar of the popular Ackbar stores...
He's stayed open due to screwing EVERYONE in the world (Universe even?!?!) over and never has been caught for doing so that we know of....
Also for Out-Thiefing Thief, major props there...

And now this brings me to Kary,
She screwed herself due to killing every single minion that she had every time they did something to make her anger go boom...
Not exactly "Dumb", but nor was it smrt in any single way since it led to her downfall...

This brings me to my final point, Reasoning on WHY mostly everyone in the 8-Bit Universe is dumb as this smrt joke I keep using...

In episode 8 of the first season of the spectacuar and godly show ReBoot, Enzo decides to find a way to become smrt real fast, he goes into Mainframe's System Clockspeed room, and without understanding what he is doing, he slows it down making everyone in Mainframe a LOT dumber...
As he comes out of the Principal Offices, he looks around and sees everything has gotten a lot blockier and exclaims "DUDE! Everythings gone 8-Bit!".

Now seeing how everyone in the 8-Bit world loves to exclaim that the "Gods are 16-Bit" and Magus (Still not calling him THAT) is 16 bit and smrt, just even being in 8-Bits inheriently makes everyone except a select few total idiots.

But this leads me to 2 other questions...

1. Would it be possible for the ones that stand out from all the idiots possbly accend and become 16-Bit at some time or another?

2. When the 32-Bit creature appeared in the earler comics (Which is supposibly impossible seeing how the gods are only made of 16-bits), how is it possible he is dumb enough to be tricked by such lower beings then him who are obiviously not the brightest bulbs in the bunch?
I guess you could attribute it to him having to alter his state so much to be able to squeeze down to the format needed to even be seen correctly in 8-bits... (This also would explain the same sorta problem with our Dragon Hobo (http://nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=050628) God King (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=050702) that this dangerous type of thinking brings up).

And yes, I already know I am completely insane but thanks for the consern!
:bmage: And knowing is half the battle!
Ya damn right BM! Damn right...

[Skyshot]

Suddenly I'm reminded of a recent post on Scott Adams's blog. I think you'll figure out the link between it and the current story arc.
Today’s review of the headlines informs me that a sex offender tried to acquire an ice cream truck. In unrelated news, American Idol winner Ruben Studdard successfully sued his ex-manager for stealing money and credit cards.

These stories fit neatly into my economic theory that most salesmen of women’s shoes have foot fetishes. The theory is simple: People go wherever they can most easily fulfill their needs.

Sex offenders go where the kids are: ice cream trucks and churches. Criminals go where the money is: banks, CEO jobs, convenience stores, and celebrities.

If you’re the owner of a women’s shoe store, and you want to hire someone that will work for cheap and still love his job, you want a guy with a major foot fetish. That guy will never call in sick. He might need to take frequent breaks during the day, but it’s a small price to pay for such motivation. The foot fetish guy will always work for less pay than the guy who’s thinking “Eww, I have to touch feet all day.” Over time, the free market system would drive out all the non-foot-fetish guys.

Based on the same economic theory, I predict that someday our entire military will be gay. If people are shooting at you, it goes down a lot easier if you’re huddling in a foxhole with a chiseled 20-year old and you can use lines such as, “Bruce, we might die today. But before we go…”
-Scott AdamsThis suggests disturbing things about our favorite clown-garbed psychopath. (SIDENOTE: Scott Adams is an economics major. That makes him something of a valid source on economics-related topics. Just thought I'd point that out.)

[Fouine]

Hum, I really don't think that Drizzl can be added to the list of smart people. I mean, he WAS outsmarted by Fighter. By FIGHTER!

In addition to that, he wasone of the people to be screwed by Akbar.

[YF-23]

But this leads me to 2 other questions...

1. Would it be possible for the ones that stand out from all the idiots possbly accend and become 16-Bit at some time or another?

2. When the 32-Bit creature appeared in the earler comics (Which is supposibly impossible seeing how the gods are only made of 16-bits), how is it possible he is dumb enough to be tricked by such lower beings then him who are obiviously not the brightest bulbs in the bunch?
I guess you could attribute it to him having to alter his state so much to be able to squeeze down to the format needed to even be seen correctly in 8-bits... (This also would explain the same sorta problem with our Dragon Hobo (http://nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=050628) God King (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=050702) that this dangerous type of thinking brings up).
1.I believe that WM may become 16-bit (she is God, if she gets a CC maybe she gets the Wonderswan sprite?).
2.The creature was 16-bit. Pontera was 32-bit.

In talk of beings who are smrt in the 8-Bit Universe (It IS a Universe, right Brian?)
Univarse. It's spelled Univarse.

[Kroze Gamegod]

Hum, I really don't think that Drizzl can be added to the list of smart people. I mean, he WAS outsmarted by Fighter. By FIGHTER!

In addition to that, he wasone of the people to be screwed by Akbar.

I shall deal with this said problem in REVERSE order! Ha! Ha!

I believe one of the laws of the 8-Bit Universe is "Eventually, everyone at one time or another must be screwed over by Ackbar someway, somehow unless he or she is a god."
If it isn't, then it should be...

Now to explain this Figher problem...
Even the smartest person can be screwed over by Fighter unless they are a god (See Dr. Swordopolis interacting with Fighter as proof of God Immunity) due to his "Area of Effect" power that is always active....
He makes people temperally dumber just by being around them...
It has been shown used multipule times.
I also believe prolonged exposure to this Aura of Fighters may make the effect a bit more permanent (See all of the Light Warriors for proof)...

[Tiako]

And while to a certain extent, I love these BM scenes, I hope we eventually break to what the other LWs are doing. I'd be pretty disappointed if they just popped by holding a brand new shiney orb.
I think that without BM, the Light Warriors will be an extremely competent and effective fighting force, and thus kind of boring, my evidence being their successful landing.

Add Drizzl since he shows he smart by trying to talk the dork warriors out of everything Garland suggests
Dude, he's an idiot. If he had any intelligence, he would have gotten a new sword. Have you noticed that?

[Roy_D_Mylote]

Vilbert isn't dead, though. He is undead.

[bass_virus]

you think getting rid of the corpse would be somewhere on the check list! I mean at least put it under some shoes. Love that the body gets dececrated again when BM throws his knife behind his back.



2.The creature was 16-bit. Pontera was 32-bit.

No both the monster and the town were 32-bit, the monster is from the same game as the town.

[Fouine]

If he had any intelligence, he would have gotten a new sword. Have you noticed that?

He HAS gotten a new sword (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=050115). Look closer at panels 8 and 9.

Oh, and don't get the wrong idea, I still think he's an idiot. An idiot, with or without a sword, is an idiot.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

He HAS gotten a new sword (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=050115). Look closer at panels 8 and 9.

Oh, and don't get the wrong idea, I still think he's an idiot. An idiot, with or without a sword, is an idiot.

I see no sword. Maybe you might be able to infer he has a sword from the talk of medival arms, but that's a stretch in itself.

SWB

[Zeke]

Is anyone else tempted to point out how the cobbler still has eyes despite them being on the shoes and therefore miss the whole idea of a "joke?"

You want needlessly picky? I'll give you needlessly picky. The knife can destroy an iceberg but it can't cut through bone?

[Meister]

Just to address that: It blends in with the background somewhat, and I didn't see it myself until I re-read the comic some weeks after it was posted, but that is quite clearly a sword.

http://img61.imageshack.us/img61/1113/swordy1no.th.png (http://img61.imageshack.us/my.php?image=swordy1no.png)

[Seran]

The sword is definitely visible to me. I saw it the first time I read the comic. Maybe I am a lot like Fighter...or too much like him...perhaps that's the reason I took offense to that "Aura of Fighters" comment...

Anyway, I think I've finally realized why Black Mage wanted to become a cobbler. Who knows what horrors may be evoked through black magic and industry?

[Kroze Gamegod]

Bah!
Both of the things that opposed my explanation were smacked down before I could get back...
At least I still have one thing to deal with...
I don't see Drizzl being "Dumb" at all...
He hasn't really done anything that would put him in the class of everyone else...

[secretskull]

Speaking of whether someone is smart or not, what happened to Garlands brief stint as an intelligent leader?

[DarkCORN!]

He HAS gotten a new sword (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=050115).
That a fact? (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=050430) Look closely at panels 6 and 7.

[Maur]

Drizzl just isn't proficient with his new blade. Or something.

/excuses

[Tiako]

He HAS gotten a new sword. Look closer at panels 8 and 9.
No, I think that was a bit of a mix-up on Brian's part. In comic #547 (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=050430)it is made clear that he is too stupid to get a sword.

Amusingly enough, he was near Sword-Town on the voyage home, so his lack of sword is not from lack of means.

[happy_turtle]

Maybe Drizz'l believes nothing made by the inferior that is man-kind could ever supply him with a weapon so superior that he has grown accustumed to.

[Joshua]

At any rate, I'm with the guy who says being outsmarted by Fighter puts him down a notch.

King Steve's left hand man seems pretty normal and... not dumb...

[Seran]

Yes, left-hand man Gary seems intelligent, but is determined enough to believe that King Steve is a suitable ruler for what was once Corneria then converted to Thieferia and then destroyed.

Hide...hide...why does that sound odd to me? Hide...conceal...hide...flesh...hide...hide...

[Joshua]

Yes, left-hand man Gary seems intelligent, but is determined enough to believe that King Steve is a suitable ruler for what was once Corneria then converted to Thieferia and then destroyed.

I don't think so.

"You're quite mad."
"Please give me a moment to weep for my country."

He doesn't seem like the usurper type, he seems very loyal. But that doesn't mean he thinks King Steve is great.

I wonder what happened to Steve's wive. .__.

[Seran]

Well, Gary does keep saying, "Forgive me for questioning your wisdom" or something similiar. I didn't remember that other comment though.

How long goes one reckon that Black Mage'll stay in business?

[Sky Warrior Bob]

Uhm, I don't think he supports King Steve at all. Considering the sideways back-talk he give King Steve. I just think he doesn't want to outright lose his life and/or pay.

SWB

[YF-23]

He HAS gotten a new sword. Look closer at panels 8 and 9.

That a fact? (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=050430) Look closely at panels 6 and 7.
Continuity error! But we all know the rule about stupidity and continuity... The former trumps the latter...

And about the creature that destroyed Pontera, it looked 16-bit to me... There isn't much color depth on it... I could be wrong though... Yeah, compering that to other, 16-bit sprites (ie Magus) that creature seems to have more color depth.

[Joshua]

Well, Gary does keep saying, "Forgive me for questioning your wisdom" or something similiar.

That's called sarcasm.

[Desmant]

The game the monster comes from is Gaia Online. The game world is in 32-bit but the characters and monsters are in 16-bit. So while Prontera was in 32-bit the monster is 16-bit

[Old Man bill]

I was brousing the archives today, and, did anyone else notice that the title of this comic, "No Loose Ends", is the same as #543? Not that it matters...

Also, have there been any other reused titles?

[Long-Haired Narcissist]

I was brousing the archives today, and, did anyone else notice that the title of this comic, "No Loose Ends", is the same as #543? Not that it matters...

Also, have there been any other reused titles?
The O'l Switcheroo has been used three or four times.