NPF Avatars: The Champion of Order [Archive]

Arhra

06-18-2006, 10:45 AM

Getitng hit right in the chest with an Inbred Chocobo brought a critical drawback of rapid size changes to Arhra's attention. They played havoc with your balance if you weren't used to them. Thus it was Arhra had a face plant.

Thankfully for Arhra, the massive amounts of various energies she had absorbed since reincarnating had considerably fortified her physique. Rather than still being afraid of breezes taking her out, she was damn healthy now. And so the only thing hurt was her pride. A terrible injury, but she'd survive.

Climbing back to her feet, Arhra's sullen expression was transfigured by a burst of pure joy of the kind that usually comes from realising some great truth. She'd just noticed she was now taller than everyone else (giant robots excluded).

"WOOOOOOO!" she cried, "Who's the microscopic shrimp now?!" Spinning around, she flashed a smile at her subjects that was almost blinding in its sheer cuteness. "Good work my underground minion animal thingies!" In response, they cried a redoubled string of accolades that made her shoot up another foot or so on the spot. At this rate, she'd be forced to go into the city destroying monster business not too far into the future.

Her resolve redoubled by this little morale boost, Arhra charged back into the fray. Not wanting to have her second charge stopped, she cast her mind around for the perfect word to shape her chaotic magic into a desirable effect. She had one.

"JUGGERNAUT!"

Magic briefly crackled over her as the spell released. Nothing going to stop her now, Arhra slammed into Raiden just as Mesia stabbed him. Using her greater height to lean over Mesia, her hands clasped aorund Raiden's neck and she felt as his energy was torn from his body to flow into her. With the draining power impeding Raiden and the others also focusing their attacks on the god, Arhra had a good feeling about how things were going. Triumphantly she said, "To think it all comes down to this - my hands... Oh wait, I already said this, didn't I?"

To cover her embarrassment, Arhra tried to kick Raiden in the fork. With that, power draining strangulation, Phoenix and Mesia having landed blows of Chaos/spiritually rotting stabbity goodness and Inbred about to strike too, Raiden certainly might be in for some pain.

PhoenixFlame

06-18-2006, 12:13 PM

Despite the massive attacks of the now-unavoidable juggernaut that was Arhra, and the soul-goddess' various arsenal of slightly-better-than-her-own weapons, Phoenix was angry. After all, nothing irritated a Raksha more than being ignored.

"No escape! I'll see you dead!" She threatened Raiden, shifting her left hand to take hold of her weapon's crossbar, and twisting it like a screwdriver within Raiden's insides. Chaos-lightning crackled around the blade, but the renowned group of scientists behind Phoenix could not determine if this actually did any damage, or if it were purely dramatic.*

*According to Dr. Joe Zimmerman, PhD., "I was really just trying to stay alive."

However, Dr. Alfred Von Richtofen, MD., counters, "Zee lack of rezearch relating to a thunder god's anatomy has lead to a great deel of controversy as to if he is damaged by chaostic lightneeng or not. I believe he isz."*

Certainly the statement of a group of respected doctors was something Raiden couldn't ignore! After all, Phoenix had cited sources and everything! It was obvious her attack had done at least *SOME* damage.

"Bah, it's not working! Doctor!" Phoenix yelled, "I need 20 CCs of kickass, stat!"

If it wasn't already apparrent, several innocent bystanders would now realize that yes, Phoenix *was* insane.

PyrosNine

06-18-2006, 08:23 PM

"Man this is fun, I can show you all off to all my god enemies!" Pyros laughed as he led the others through a pantheon of the divine. "See? That's Hermaphrodite over there. And you guys thought I was a freak."

The winged god/ess raised it's middle finger. "Castrate yourself with a withering blade, Pyros!"

"I'd say the same for you, dear Hermie. It'd help you in life."

Pyros then briefly read through the discussion thread, and decided he wasn't having enough fun. Sure, he was having fun, but he could be having more. So, he decided the best thing to do would be to bring another for the ride.
Briefly reaching through a suddenly appearing bowl of folded paper, he removed one and called it out.

"I summon...FENRISWOLF!!"

Suddenly, a hole in the cieling opened up....

-------------------------
Wherever the hell Fenris is:
-------------------------

*AoL mail music plays * You've got a hole beneath you!

FenrisWolf

06-18-2006, 08:31 PM

The cords that were in Fenris's mind disconnected themselves as Fenris fell into the hole. He opened his eyes wide in shock as he realized what had happened.

Fenris popped out of the hole on the other side with a comical "pop!" and fell to one knee, and lifted himself up.

"Uh, hello, uh... sir, and ma'am-I mean sir-I mean ma'am-I mean... I don't know what I mean..." His voice trailed off while he waited for the two people to reply.

Truce

06-18-2006, 08:57 PM

Ecurt coughed. As interesting and mentally scarring it was to meet the other gods, they had to hurry up. However, before he could voice his concern, Pyros pulled Fenriswolf out of a hole.

For a moment, Ecurt stared at Fenris, before smiling evilly. "Hey, you're alive. Good for you. And by you, I mean me. And by me, I mean...you didn't hear that! Why? Because this is secret text, bitch!"

Of course, Ecurt knew that he didn't have time to turn Fenris into another crime against nature right now. They had to move.

Ecurt tapped the fire angel on the shoulder. "Pyros, let's hurry up and finish this tour. We don't want to run into Gaia, do we?"

PyrosNine

06-19-2006, 12:25 AM

"As if. Gaia doesn't come to the parties. But fine, I shall hurry up. So my friends, let us be of to see the wizard, the unwonderful creatorwizard of US."

Pyros parted his hands, and almost automatically the crowd of gods parted. Not of course because Pyros had power over them, merely because they didn't want to get flattened. A giant golden staircase fell from the cieling, and gently smothered any who failed to make it out. In this case, Poseidon found his legs still under the staircase when it landed.

"Ow! My legs! Why Pyros, why? Why must you put such barriers between Asheth and I?"[/COLOR]

"Flame CANNNON!"

"OW HOT HOT HOT! You probably prevented her from being here too!"

"No, she didn't come because she doesn't want to be around a wanker like you! COME ON guys!" Pyros hastily grabbed the others and carted them up the stairs, cackling as every step brought Poseidon more pain.

"I'll rise above this yet, and take her for myself, just you wait Pyros!" Poseidon whined from his spot on the floor.

The stairs dissappeared behind them as the trio/Quatrio,(I lost count) entered the upper level. Here the floor was like a milky purple, that flowed out in every direction, the cieling a dark velvet that looked almost like a serene sky. Sparkling in it were giant diamonds that numbered in the millions, each engraved with a name of a god, and their creator. Even some of the false gods, like the giant salamander of an obscure island tribe were shown up there, and the crazed local that thought them up was listed as a creator.

For, as the Ultimatum saw it in his grand scheme, some times the imagination can create grander gods than the ones that actually are, and faith in unreal gods has led people to do things even real gods would have trouble getting them to do. Despite not liking the worship of any gods other than himself, The ultimatum figured if his servants were to be worshipped, they should honor imaginations that were worshipped just as well.

Pyros had always assumed this was a blatant message about how much worship is truly worth or something. The ultimatum was well known for his love of metaphors and irony.

Here, here in this upper floor, was power. Power beyond any other. For this power, was Sight. And with this sight, all things became simple, and in that, they became complex. One of the lesser creators made an effort to explain it to his creations, and his best one so far was "Like Playing Civilization 3, yet already knowing what happens 2 turns next, and not needing that Spock guy."

As they were, they could not comprehend the sheer might and vision of the creators, but they could comprehend that they were on a white square.

JORDEN, I DO BELIEVE YOU ARE CHEATING.

I AM NOT. THEY TELEPORTED THERE OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL.

I MUST INTERJECT, THAT I HAVE THEORIZED THERE IS NO SUCH THING FOR OUR CREATIONS, BUT IT IS MERELY OUR OWN SUBCONCIOUS AND OUR INNER DESIRE FOR AGGRESSION AGAINST OURSELF. THEY DO IT BECAUSE WE WANT THEM TO DO IT, EVEN IF WE DON'T REALIZE IT WHEN WE ARE TAKING VENGEANCE.

SO IF YOU ARE RIGHT, THEN HE IS CHEATING! JUST LIKE LAST GAME!

NO, LAST GAME YOU CHEATED. HAVING A LVL 69 SEDUCTRESS-KNIGHT ATTACK MY LVL94 ELDERMONK KING, THEN HAVE HIM SUDDENLY REGAIN HIS EYESIGHT AND REMEMBER THAT HE WAS STILL A VIRGIN?

UHH....IT WAS ALL PYROS'S FAULT!

OH, DON'T GIVE ME THAT TRIPE! WE ALL KNOW THAT BAG OF LIES IS ALL THE HIGH....

Pyros scratched his head. "Wha?"

YOU ARE TOO LOOSE LIPPED, YOU KNOW THAT. PYROS, YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE TO SEE YOUR CREATOR, RIGHT? WELL, MOVE ALONG THEN. AND HERE, HAVE A LOLLIPOP FROM UNCLE AURAL TO FORGET YOU HEARD ANYTHING JUST NOW.

"Yay! You're the bestest Uncle Aural!" Pyros went kawaii as he licked a oversized lollipop, and the group was instantenously moved to another area, where a large rocking chair sat. Of course, this was no ordinary rocking chair. And large, large was an understatement. It was big enough to sit all the old people in the world for the last ten years and their faithful lap pets.

Of course, it needed to be big. For sitting in it, reading a theory of existence and an amalgamation of all the newspapers in the entire planet, was the Grand High Creator.

His awareness suddenly centered on the group, and they all suddenly felt as if there was an invisible weight on their shoulders that threatened to crush them. Even the High Creator's vision was weighty!

PYROS, WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE? DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BROTHER? AND WHY ARE THEY HERE?

Truce

06-20-2006, 03:38 PM

There were times in his life when Ecurt was utterly and completely speechless. Now, when he had been faced with beings more powerful than his own boss (and legal guardian in some third world countries after the little bastard tried to sell him into child sexual slavery just so he could appear on Oprah; Ecurt didn't care if she gave away free gifts after the show!) who were just as crazy or more so than Pyros, was one of them. Only after spending a minute or two in silence did he remember where he was and what he had come for.

"We're here because one of your boys has gone beserk again and is trying to destroy the very fabric of realities. This normally wouldn't be such a big problem if, you know, if he was any other god. After all, gods can be defeated, gods can fall, and, as difficult as it may be sometimes, they can be killed. However, there's a bit of a problem this time.

"Raiden's been a bad boy," he said calmly. "Don't you think he needs a time out?"

PyrosNine

06-20-2006, 10:09 PM

RAIDEN DOES WHAT RAIDEN WILL, AND PUT IT NOT UPON ME TO STOP HIM.

Was the creators reply.

Pyros licked his lollipop while hovering in mid-air, which was a feat in itself because the floor they were on seemed to be floating up to the creator. Not so that the creator could see them better, but so they could see him. And even then they needed to wear special sunglasses Pyros snuck on their eyes.

"Well, that's his word on the thing. I know it's brief, but it really says alot. Especially depending on your level of conciousness and natural language, which would vary how many words he said from 4 kajiliion, to two. I don't have the time to tell you the Kajilion, but I can translate for the two:

STFU, NOOB

I kinda prefer hearing him in that language, just at least for the shits and giggles."

Darth SS

06-20-2006, 11:21 PM

Darth was actually standing there eating popcorn. Or, at least he was, until the camera (the thread's perspective) shifted around over to him.

"Er...what? Yah...I'm...I'm totally fighting Raiden. Definitely not eaten. I am. I'm...I'm just charging up. I'm gonna' jump right in right quick here. No I'm not. Just uh...being my usual helpful self. I'm not helpful. D-damn that Raiden. Him and his stupid...face. I, I'm so angry I'm to go make him eat poop. I'm not dumb."

Darth lazilly pulled the P90 and burned the rest of the mag at Raiden. Then he made a little shooing motion to the perspective of the thread and let the camera re-focus on the action.

GARUD

06-21-2006, 05:47 AM

Garud concentrated hard. He had to do something. He had been idle for too long. Time to take action.

"Raiden, you scorn us all. I don't care about all of your "order" crap. We're going to stop you and if you don't like it... I have two words for you."

Garud charged his dark energy and fed of the book of darkness, to provide power. Gathering up his will he summoned the Hellgate. The giant object appeared at the back of the wall. It's mouth howled in despair.

"Just two words Raiden, just two words."

Garud raised both arms.

"You can go SUCK IT!"

Both arms came down and made series of X crotch-chops. As he did this, a dark beam headed toward Raiden, produced from the mouth of the structure that had been summoned. The demon slayer was going to add injury to insult.

PyrosNine

06-22-2006, 03:55 PM

Out of the magic tying NPFAVA Discussion and NPFAVA RP, Pyros suddenly sent a ball of fire at Garud, along with a rock with the words "Bad insult!" encarved upon it.

The Great Creator looked down at Pyros.

WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO BREAK THE WALLS THAT LINE OUR WORLD? IT WASN'T THAT BAD AN INSULT, TRULY.

"Up yours, old man!"

Darth SS

06-22-2006, 07:51 PM

Darth continued to lean against the wall, and provide color commentary.

"Oooh, Garud's getting sassy."

Out of nowhere, he produced a microphone and turned to the thread's camera-like perspective.

"To our viewers just tuning in now: Raiden's still trying to fix reality, Krylo's a rule enforcing bastard and Garud just instructed Raiden that the orderly thing to do would be to suck his penis. Pyros just now threw a rock at Garud, and is now arguing with the creators. More as the situation develops. I'm Darth SS, reporting for NPF News."

Truce

06-23-2006, 02:15 AM

Ecurt coughed and adjusted his collar, taking a step to be in the focus of the camera. "While your assistance is not required, it is preferred. You see, I have actually prepared quite a number of plans for situations such as these, and while they are guaranteed to put an end to the problem, the consequences of one such counter measure would be the equivalent of giving Pyros here all of Raiden's current power and throwing him into a room filled with caffeinated ambrosia."

Mauve Mage

06-23-2006, 02:37 AM

(OOC: Because I spent the past ten weeks messing with tv studio equipment, I now HAVE to do this.)

Mauve sat behind a window that popped into existance behind Darth. She was suddenly wearing a headset and was sitting at a low desk, looking up at the collection of monitors on the wall above her. She touched the microphone on the headpiece. If Darth got to be the reporter, then Mauve wanted to be production director.

"Camera one: Close up on Host." The camera focused on Darth. "Camera Two: Medium shot, host in studio." The second camera pulled back, revealing Darth's upper half and his surroundings.

"Camera one: More head room, please." Darth's head moved slowly downwards. "Thank you, Camera One."

"Roll record VTR, open mic," Mauve said into the microphone. From the invisible Master Control Room, a shadowy figure inserted a tape into a recording device.

"We have speed," a whisper answered Mauve. On one of the screens above her, Darth flicked into view. Mauve nodded.

"Ready CG 1," she said to the ghostly chryon operator seated at the computer beside her.

"To our viewers just tuning in now: Raiden's still trying to fix reality..."

"Take CG 1!" The words, Darth SS, on location appeared at the bottom of the tv screen above them.

Mauve leaned back, watching the preview and program screens. She tapped her chin. She called out directions to the Technical Director and Camera Operators, switching camera angles on the program screen and broadcasting the signal out to the NPFNews Station reciever back on Earth.

"Pyros just now threw a rock at Garud, and is now arguing with the creators." Mauve looked down at the script.

"Ready roll VTR 5, ready close mics, ready fade black." she called to the various operators in the booth. "Floor director: Cue Host to Spot!"

A ghostly figure appeared next to the camera, just in Darth's peripheral vision. It raised it's left index finger and tapped it against the palm of its right hand, signalling Darth that they were about to cut to a commercial.

"More as the situation develops. I'm Darth SS, reporting for NPF News."

"Close mics. Fade black." On the screen, Darth faded away into nothingness. "Roll VTR 5." There was a moment's pause, and then a commercial popped on to the screen.

"Good work, people. Sixty seconds to fade in."

Bailey

06-23-2006, 07:29 AM

Seeing that Mesia didn't need his help, Naymedo flitted out into the plane being used by all the others and surveyed his surroundings. He finally settled into Mauve's head and sat beside the hearing centers. "Late breaking news, the wherabouts of Meister have been determined, and it turns out that Raiden kidnapped him. More as the situation develops." He whispered.

GARUD

06-23-2006, 07:42 AM

(OOC: Well you guys did something similar)

*Clunk*Thunk*

The rhyming sounds heralded the demon slayer getting hit with a rock that said "bad insult" and a mysterious rabies shot. Picking up the rock and scribbling something on it. He then threw it the way it came.

+++Meanwhile+++

"OLD MAN? YOU AREN'T SO GREAT EITHER. BESIDES, I WANTED A GI-OWW. HEY, WHO THREW THAT?"

The creator picked up the rock and examined it.

"IT'S FOR YOU."

Pyros recieved the stone. The peice of earth read "Got any better material I can use?"

(OOC: Sorry, but just needed the creator for a moment.)

+++Back at the fight.+++

After satisfied throwing the rock, Garud noticed Mauve and Darth fix up the place for a news broadcast.

"Well maybe I should add to the excitement."

Garud harnessed the power of the hellgate, and altered the terrain. All fighters were now standing (if they were standing) on solid brimstone. All of the surroundings, excluding the newsbroadcasting team and the hellgate, but INCLUDING the walls became altered into a large glass dome. Stands appeared, which gave it an arena feel. This feel was enhanced by the spectators that had appeared. 500 000 demons now lined the stands. The only sign they had without swear words was "Go to Hell, Garud."

"Gee, rough crowd."

(OOC, again: Well, now the whole group is part of a sporting event, with live couverage from NPF news. We have spectators, sports stars and commentators. Now all we need are mascots and we are sweet.)

FenrisWolf

06-23-2006, 01:15 PM

Fenris had remained oddly quiet during the whole event so far. He was listening, and also clinging to life because he was sure that being in the presence of the Grand High Creator was killing him.

Fenris raised his head, and sighed.

"Now, I might not be too good at the thinkin's, but it seems to me like we came here to talk to the head honcho of the universe, to ask him to give Raiden a swift kick to the head, or at least stop him from rampaging and killing everybody. It seems that he has so delicately declined our request." Fenris paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "So, can we go home now?"

POS Industries

06-23-2006, 01:27 PM

"So, can we go home now?"

"No. No, we can't," a weary voice spoke up, dispassionately, "Not yet. This... thing back there that's planning on tearing apart all of existance bit by bit is not a self-willed force. It's a monster. Your monster. You people made Raiden, designed him to behave this way, whether you intended it or not. To say that your creation went haywire because it just up and decided to is a cop out."

The lack of passion in Pedro's voice was giving way to anger. Now, some might say that it is more than unwise to take this tone with the very literal Powers That Be. Still, others would not say anything because they'd have high-tailed it out of there by now. Either way, the floodgates were open, and the gods themselves were going to get an earful, regardless of consequences.

"You want to maintain order, to maintain balance in the universe? You want to keep up the illusion of your perfect world that you created?" growled the temporarily reformed Hazel-Eyes White Capitalist.

"Then clean up your mess already."

PyrosNine

06-23-2006, 03:45 PM

I CANNOT. FOR EVEN AS GREAT AS RAIDEN IS AT THIS MOMENT, HE IS STILL ON A LEVEL SO SMALL THAT IT COULD BE COMPARED TO A COCKROACH RUNNING AMONGST ANTS. IF I WERE TO GIVE HIM THIS 'SWIFT KICK TO THE HEAD' I WOULD UNDOUBTABLY SQUASH A GREAT MANY ANTS, NAMELY KILL THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU PERMANENTLY. IT WOULD ALSO MESS WITH YOUR UNIVERSE. I MAY ACCIDENTLY DESTROY IT, AND EVEN IF I DIDN'T, IT WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME.

BUT DO NOT THINK I AM UNACTING, NOR UNCARING. WHILE MY ABILITIES ARE TOO HEAVY HANDED FOR THIS, YOU ARE MY SPECIALIZED HANDS. I CANNOT RAISE YOUR POWER TO MATCH HIS WITHOUT POSSIBLY CREATING A BIGGER PROBLEM, BUT I CAN GRANT YOU A PLAN, AND SOME AID.

Golden pillars of light shone down from above, and within them could be seen a white , solid light.

TAKE THIS POWER. IT SHALL ALLOW YOU TO BE ABLE TO ATTACK THROUGH REALITY. I TRUST YOU ALREADY UNDERSTAND THAT HE CAN SIMPLY SHAPE REALITY SO THAT HE WAS NOT THERE WHEN YOU SWUNG AT HIM. HE CANNOT DO THAT TO YOU WITH THIS POWER.

Pyros kicked Ecurt into a pillar and onto the white light, and suddenly his hands and feet glowed with a white light. When Ecurt touched his weapons, they too were coated in this strange light.

"Alright pops, I see the point in this, but that doesn't quite solve our problem."

PATIENCE PYROS. DO NOT MAKE ME MINDFUL OF MY HATRED OF RED AT A TIME LIKE THIS. IF YOU CAN USE THIS POWER TO BRING RAIDEN HERE, THEN I CAN FIX HIM WITHOUT PENALTY.

"And when you say fix him you mean?"

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?

"Damn."

NOW TAKE THIS POWER, AND GO!

Truce

06-23-2006, 03:59 PM

He was glowing. He was freaking glowing. At least his hands and feat were, though he had a sneaking suspicion that if Mesden were here his soul would have probably been glowing as well. "This isn't going to give me cancer, is it?" he asked, looking at himself.

The silence that followed was very comforting. Really, it was.

Walking out of the pillar of light, still blinking, he then motioned for the others to enter. "You guys go on ahead. Someone needs to remain on this side to aid in the transfer, and unfortunately I'm the one most compatible with Pyros' magic.

"Of course, this is totally not an excuse to remain behind while the rest of you go on a suicide mission. Especially since, when you think about it, all of Pyros', Mesden's, and Raiden's relatives are up here."

Raiden

06-23-2006, 05:30 PM

Mesia's blade pierced deep through his chest, the weapons of the others attacking his body as well. His face held a powerful frown.

"So much chaos here...SO MUCH CHAOS!"

His mind was beginning to split from the cries of chaos in this universe that required solution and order. So much chaos...so much...

His empty eyes of energy looked up at the group.

".....must bring Order to this place."

A single rune floated in front of him. It was a strange rune of a mystic light. It fell down slowly and touched the ground. And then...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Raiden hovered in space. He had not risen above the planet. He had not left the planet. The planet no longer existed. There was no planet, there was no temple, and now...there was no group of NPFers.

They were all gone.

Raiden gave out a sigh as a small bit of the Chaos left his mind, his body regenerating the wounds.

Krylo

06-23-2006, 05:37 PM

At exactly the moment when the unbound Raiden unleashed his power, Haeru reached out and touched her creator's hand.

The world was torn apart, ripped into atoms, everything was destroyed irrevocably, but then something happened. Everything just froze. The atomic dust stopped exactly where it was, and consciousnesses rewoke throughout it. A cloud of atoms here gained the mind of Dragonsbane, a ball of dust there Mesia's. They all reawoke, with the strange and painful sensation of having their bodies ripped into atomic dust, and spread throughout a frozen nebula.

Then time resumed, but it moved in reverse. Everything rushed back inward toward a ball of glowing runes, suddenly reforming the planet, and the bodies of all those present. Most were left disorientated and confused. They had all been killed. Even the immortals and the all powerful beings had been thrown to the winds like dust, and then brought back by some force greater than any they had ever seen.

When the runes sank away, Krylo stood in their place with a cocky grin and his proper body, that was both exactly like him, and somehow... off. Something subtle had changed about him.

"I'm sorry Raiden, but your 'chaos' is only a dream. This is a world created by creators. Even the most chaotic amongst you, even Arhra, is created in a specific manner by a sentient being. There is no disorder here. Everything is as it should be. Everything but you..."

Runes moved out without 'Krylo' ever opening his mouth or moving his hands. The God-Raiden attempted to stop them, yet they were merely deleted, erased from existence by ever more powerful runes. Every defense was rendered null, and the runes wrapped about Raiden.

"You're a bastardization. A mistake. And you aren't even all there yet. You can't stop a real creator. Let's fix things... a bit more permanently eh?"

With that the runes flashed and Raiden fell unconcious. Not the super powerful Raiden of before, but the old Raiden. The somewhat goofy god of thunder, with typical powers. However, there was no trace of the extra energy left. Even the Kurosen remained powerless.

Then 'Krylo' gestured once more, and the Kurosen relit, power returning to it, as it regained its former strength... and then Krylo passed out too.

Dragonsbane

06-23-2006, 05:38 PM

Raiden was Elsewhere.

In his new form, it was easy for Dragonsbane to put him there, to mutate his rune with concentrated magic. The Balance would Not be denied.

Let him think that everything was gone, but in reality, only one thing was. Raiden would suffer for this, undoubtedly, but for now...let him be sealed in the Dark Space between Dimensions.

This was how it always was...for Villains.

Raiden was not TRULY one, and so his stay here would be short, but it would serve as an adequate time-out to teach him a lesson.

Inbred Chocobo

06-23-2006, 06:54 PM

"The Kurosen, the one ultimate power. Supposedly the object that holds Raiden's full power." IC said, stepping over the fallen Raiden. "I have to thank you Krylo for saving us." IC said towards Krylo. He bent over, and picked up the Kurosen. "Raiden looks like he is back to normal guys." IC said, lifting the Kurosen over his head. "Lets go home shall we." Then a bright light emitted from the Kurosen, warping those that were at the fight back to their home.

Everyone looked around, and they saw they were back at NPF. "Someone go put that Mashirosen back, I'll take care of the Kurosen." IC said one last time to the group, then left, destined for the tower.

Truce

06-23-2006, 07:08 PM

"Or, that could happen, and our coming here was pointless. Then again, most of our actions are meaningless to everybody but ourselves.

"Of course, there's still the buffet."

PyrosNine

06-23-2006, 07:51 PM

"YAY! BUFFET!" So, Pyros had his friends enjoy a buffet few mortals ever would enjoy, ever, complete with delicacys that one could only dream of (because they were made by several dream gods)

As the holy Baby Back Ribs were passed about, Pyros took a deep bite. In between mouthfuls, he explained something urgent to Ecurt.

"Yan owf, Uf nopf supofed to beher. Probfee suud tank mea pfor dat."

PhoenixFlame

06-23-2006, 09:33 PM

Phoenix, and Raksha-Phoenix, were both vaporized by the explosion. The Altan too, was vaporized. But it's Kurosen-Inhibitor Device was no longer needed after Krylo's latest effect. Luckily, both Phoenix and the Altan were reformed almost instantaneously, and the technomage regained her formerly lost conciousness.

"Buh... wha... what happened?" She asked, blinking and rubbing her eyes, glancing at the mech's controls. "What am I doing here?"

A terrible realization.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Akasha, better known until now as "Raksha-Phoenix", because well, she had been using Phoenix to astroproject herself into this reality, had been completely vaporized, and remained that way, several bloodstains and body parts of the fey being scattered across the temple's far wall from the explosion of order.

She seemed defeated, but Akasha was none such.

A melodious chorus of laughter eminated from the bloodstain on the far wall, and from it, a shimmering form slowly reshaped itself from the various giblets and ambient NPF-reality in the area.

"Oh... Impressive..." She sighed, "You messed up my hair." running an ice-comb through her relatively mussed blue hair.

"Is it dead yet?" She asked, pointing toward Raiden.

Mauve Mage

06-24-2006, 01:02 AM

Mauve looked at the city around her.

She looked at the suddenly-safe Kurosen.

She looked at Krylo.

She looked at what was left of her friends.

She nodded. She drew in a breath. She opened her mouth and spoke the three words that entered her newly-reanimated mind.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!"

Truce

06-24-2006, 07:38 AM

While Mauve was using her newfound second life to swear like a twelve year old boy trying to sound cool, somewhere an angel was choking on some baby back ribs. A fire angel to be exact.

"That's what you get for talking with your mouth full," Ecurt said, performing a heimlich maneuver on Pyros, who finally coughed up the piece of bone that had been caught in his throat, sending it flying across the plane to smack into the back of Twiddy's head. "Do you even chew?"

And yes, Ecurt was purposefully avoiding thanking Pyros.

Bailey

06-24-2006, 07:54 AM

Naymedo left the confines of Mauve's head. Through an odd chain of events, he was once again a ghost, and no longer a being of ultimate reality, but, he still felt that sureness of reality flowing through him, and he knew that if he could just find the right person to possess and enhance, they would be a force to be reckoned with. Perhaps they could even prevent the second attack on the gate of souls, rather than simply defending.

Fortunately, he had time to prepare, but unfortunately, he already knew what was coming that would delay Tyrant's plans, and he couldn't tell anybody about it. Except maybe one...

Naymedo sought out Arhra.

Mesden

06-24-2006, 08:08 AM

A force wrapped around Naymedo, some power he couldn't resist. When he became aware of the force, it appeared to be the Ethereal goddess herself clenching around him.

"You. Explain EVERYTHING I'm sensing right now through the gate I made. There's a lot of influence flowing from it and I can't pinpoint everything, as it seems to be in some kind of subsection of spirituality."

At this moment, Mesia could notice how the glow on her hand became brighter, more ethereal and ghostly. She gripped a bit tighter.

"You're going to answer me, too. This gate is the only direct connection from my world to the others and I need answers."

Bailey

06-24-2006, 08:25 AM

Naymedo didn't even bother wriggling. "Do you recall the shattering of The Eternal Newb? Now, do you know how Newb became The Eternal Newb? It all goes back to when I used to haunt the cellar in the local inn..."

"...And that's how Tyrant gained control of Newb. Shortly after he used his powers of absorption to go on a massive killing spree and devour a large number of souls. When The Eternal Newb came to attack your gate before, he was hoping to absorb the souls he could find there to increase his power further. Now, however, Tyrant hopes to turn each soul into a physical soldier, creating a massive army. He's delayed though, and that delay is potentially more dangerous than an army of misfits running about. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must find Arhra."

Naymedo twisted out of her grasp and sped through the air. He called back. "As I explained, I've had a lot of practice at being a soul. I could never hope to harm you without a body, but I think I can manage to continue escaping. I'll come back and help when the time comes."

PyrosNine

06-24-2006, 01:04 PM

*cough, Hack!* "No, I don't. Damn, these ribs are so good your body forces you to inhale them!" Pyros lamented. In truth, he talked with a mouth full just to annoy people who couldn't understand what he was saying. Ecurt had apparently been in employment so long he could understand anything that came out of Pyros's mouth.

"Well, as i was saying, Mortals aren't normally allowed here in the Pantheon, especially not on this official god holiday. So you're getting here really puts me out on a limb." Pyros explained as he grabbed more from the table, elbowing out Ares as he reached for the pork.

"You see, in order for you guys to be here, I had to fill out a big golden form and use a few legal technicalities." Pyros took a sip of a chalice full of sundrop and continued.

"It was a particularly fine work, something that puts even Thief's to shame, but eh, I digress. I had to label you guys as acceptable, and you can only be labled so under certain conditions." Pyros slathered some dijion on his chicken, further drawing out his explanation needlessly.

"Y'see, I was able to get Fenris in here by virtue of being a god of hobos, and claiming him to be my human hobo-incarnation. But he should probably keep his head down, because them Norse gods are quick to attack anything that sounds like Fenrir."

"And POS should have been impossible to get in, due to a god-complex the man has about him when it comes to that sagging, pitiful business of his. But fortunately, the High Creator let him in anyway. Some may think this is kindness, but I see it for what it truly is. POS was a bit uppity with his grand highness, and now he seeks to return the favor. I believe you've heard about his giant boots?" Pyros pointed to POS, and the haunting form of the elder god personified into a miserly old man with a giant pair of boots hovering over POS.

"And you, well, you're a special case. Supposedly, I can simply pass you through as my humble servant/slave, but after all the time we've spent together, I find that would be wrong and demeaning. After all we're practically family, right?"

Pyros didn't stop to let Ecurt answer that question. Ecurt suddenly noticed he was wearing a tux, and Pyros was no longer Pyros, but rather Asheth. Asheth in a white dress.

"So uh, just hold this, and wear this, and don't ask too many questions about it, because everything's fine. And I totally, totally didn't just go out of my way to screw you over. Because I'd never do such a thing to purposefully make your life difficult. Ever."

Asheth then shoved a hush puppie into her gob and said no more, as several gods patted Ecurt on the back, and congratulated him. Though, oddly enough
Thor and Poseidon were not among them and giving Ecurt malevolent looks.

POS Industries

06-24-2006, 03:54 PM

Pedro glanced upward at the "Geezer-in-Boots" that Pyros had manifested above his head, only to return his gaze to the fire angel a second later. "Being 'uppity' got us some answers," POS shrugged, content that the greater good was at long last being served in some way, "I'd do it again if it meant saving lives."

And, as usual, Pyros was wrong about something. The High Creator had let Pedro into the Pantheon because the man had checked his evil at the door. In a few hours, Pedro O'Sullivan would be returned to his normal demeanor of greed and overall badness, but for now he was the most pure-hearted of any of them.

"Anyway," POS said, getting back to the matter at hand, "It seems that you guys have some godly power boosts waiting for you, as the gods have decided to be quite reasonable. I suppose now would be as good a time as any to dig in and get back to the whole 'saving the world' thing."

FenrisWolf

06-24-2006, 04:22 PM

Fenris listened to what Pyros had to say, and decided to busy himself with his meal. He was eating like a madman, having this been his first real meal.

"Pyros, er, Asheth, I owe ya one, man, er, woman, er... pal..."

The Wizard Who Did It

06-24-2006, 06:41 PM

And, off to the side of the newly formed NPF, a furious debate was underway…

“Come on man, she’s right over there.”

“But I don’t wanna.”

“Look, she just screamed out obscenities for no apparent reason. Now is the perfect time to ‘talk’ to her.”

“Really, do I have to?”

“Damnit, you haven’t been the same since you were killed in half a second flat.”

“Gee. I wonder why…”

“Don’t be snide with me, you little punk.”

“'Little'? You’re the pansy good goody white mage. It would take me only-”

“Good… good…”

“But I don’t wanna.”

“Damnit! Look, you’ve wanted to this entire night. She’s right over there. Now go over there and annoy her like a man!”

The Light Wizard quickly drew his black spear and swung it towards the Dark Wizard’s head. With a jolt, the Dark Wizard ducked while the lance screamed just above his ear. He then started wandering over to the lonely and confused Mage while picking up his body. He proceeded toward the female mage while the Light Wizard watched with a smirk on his face.

The Dark Wizard moseyed on up to Mauve Mage with a slight slouch and his eyes staring down toward his feet. The Light Wizard had a look of pure glee on his face, wondering what would happen. Right… what am I supposed to say now? Damn, this used to be so easy. Now I can’t do anything… I’m so pathetic. She’s probably wondering what I’m doing here… Probably thinking I’m some kind of freak… Damnit, I need to say something soon. Something… Come on! She was completely useless in that fight, right? Not as useless as I was… She died, right? Not as much as me… She couldn’t think of anything? I just sat there… Come on, I need to say something!

The Dark Wizard looked up. His eyes were glowing, with a fierce look of concentration. Pure force of will and effort was etched on his face, like it was about to take all of his energies to talk. He spoke slowly and clearly, not stumbling over his words although he had no clue what he was going to say, “Hey Mauve… would you like to go to the Archmage Dance with me?”

… Why in the nine hundred or so hells did I just say that?
-----------------------
The Light Wizard’s jaw dropped. He lost his ability to do anything for a few seconds, right before pure anger swept across his face. His hands clenched tightly around his Chaos Lance before he ran it into his forehead. Repeatedly.

… Or it would have been repeatedly if he didn’t have such bad physical defense. Rather, he hit himself once, and was knocked out for a good day or so. About the time it would take for the chaos magic that Rhiya released to wear off.
-----------------------
With the chaos magic finally worn off, the Wizard was in his original body again. He sat himself down and devoured the feast before him without a seconds delay. Until, of course, the rib smacked him in the back of head, forcing him to eject some of the contents of the meal he had previously been eating. Or, rather, inhaling. It was not unexpected, therefore, that the Wizard suddenly lost his appetite. He took instead to listening to the conversations circulating around the table. Of course, the only real conversation going on was Pyros’ boasting about how he got them into the Pantheon in the first place. However, he found that he was unmentioned. Curiosity beckoned him, and without much delay he asked conversationally,

“And how did you get me in here?”

PyrosNine

06-24-2006, 10:40 PM

Asheth patted Fenris on the back. "Yes, Yes, I know you do. But don't worry. You don't owe as much as you think. In fact, you've just repaid me." She patted him with a firm rubbing motion yet again, to make sure the "PyrosNine's homemade Plushies" advertisement stuck to his back good. You got advertisement where you could, and mobile advertisement was even better. When people threw sandwiches and rocks at this hobo, they'd also get a good idea of what kind of plushie to get.

<He ain't my incarnation, but he IS my walking advertisement. And in a few weeks, I can have him walk around in a plushie costume!>

“And how did you get me in here?”

Asheth looked down at Twiddy. "...Heh. Ha. Heh-heh. HA! HAHA! BWAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHA, AHAHAHAHABWAHAHHAAHAHa!" Asheth laughed a dark and scary laugh, as if there was a big joke no one else knew but her.

"Oh, Twiddy dear, don't you know that as the wizard who did it, you have an honorary god status? Believe it or not, the widespread believe in a wizard that did it is almost like a religion. So, you're allowed in on the High Creator's rules. And since this is your first visit to the pantheon, there's a custom and tradition we have to uphold for you."

Twiddy found himself surroudned by a throng of goddesses and nymphs, each more fair than the last. But before he could even smile at this, they all pulled out giant wooden paddles.

"Custom is to spank you for how many believers you have, but don't worry, you won't end up like L. Ron Hubbard. I managed to convince them to take off the spikes."

One of the goddesses did a practice swing and made a gust of wind so powerful it made a tornado that began destroying the party until a few other gods took care of it.

Mauve Mage

06-25-2006, 03:01 PM

"D'oh," Mauve said to herself, recovering from her initial shock at being killed, brought back to life, and transported back to the NPF. "I didn't get to do anything godmoddy. I guess I shoulda actually tried to DO something during that last battle. And now it's too late. Unless Raiden decides to pull a 'I'm A God And You Totally Didn't Hurt Me' move."

"Oh well." She held one fist above her head and stood on one foot in an traditional Anime Girl Victory Pose. "Next game, I'm gonna blow something up! I solemnly swear it upon the graves of my ancestors!" She lowered her hand and looked down at the ground. "I wonder where my ancestors are buried."

She stood silently for a long moment, reflecting on past events. The unmasking of Otaku Son. Raiden's transformation. Raiden's apparent defeat. The bag of gummi bears that was hopefully still on her dresser. So many things to think about.

Suddenly, she realized that she wasn't alone. Dark Twiddy had sidled up to her while she had been wondering if gummi bears could go stale after extended periods of time, and whether they'd still be yummy if they did. Mauve crossed her arms and her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Oh great. And now Captain Egomaniac decides to come over and point out my many flaws. Yeah. This is JUST what I need. Mauve considered going for her knives before the Dark One had a chance to react, but then she remembered that her first knife had been crushed in Raiden's fist and the second one was lying on the floor in the throne room somewhere. Poo. Of course I have to get the guy with the high magic defense. Oh well, I'll just have to improvise.

Mauve was just trying to remember if she still had a piano wire in her pocket of near-infinite holding when Dark Twiddy decided to speak.

“Hey Mauve…" Here it goes. My moment of pseudo-tranquility will abruptly end in flames and blood. "...would you like to go to the Archmage Dance with me?”

Mauve automatically opened her mouth to say "Yeah? Well I didn't see YOU do much during that battle either, Sir Faints-A-Lot!!" but luckily she caught herself. She stared blankly at him for a moment.

No snide remarks? No infuriating little comments about her powers? What was wrong with him now??

"Who are you and what have you done with Dark Twiddy?" Mauve asked.

Darth SS

06-26-2006, 03:01 PM

Darth got off the wall and nodded.

"Good show everyone."

And then he went home.

Arhra

06-27-2006, 10:20 AM

During that brief period of non-existence, Arhra found herself floating in a void, blind but able to sense the slow, stately, absurd, ponderous movements of the unthinkably tremendous things around her and hear the thumping beat of their ungainly dance. As much of an oxymoron as it is to exist anywhere while not existing, Arhra seemed to have managed this feat.

She asked the first question that came to mind, "Why am I here?" As for the most obvious question, she already knew the answer.

To remind you. came the reply of one of the other presences. Raiden is being dealt with as we speak. As to the other matter, you know what you must do. When the time comes, be ready.

It was quite amazing the way the presence had managed to avoid saying anything particularly informative as if it knew there was a risk of dramatic cutaway things. You'd almost think this was an old plot twist used in a half hearted attempt to garner interest.

Arhra didn't get a chance to get a reply in. She found herself unceremoniously whisked back to reality. "Damn voices and their need to get the last word word in." Arhra grumbled. Still, finding themselves back on their regular planet, Arhra decided she'd better find out where Yuri had gotten to.

Locating the building Yuri was in, Arhra discovered there were actually downsides to being tall. The height increasing praise lavished upon her by her loyal minions had put her at a little under ten feet tall. Thankfully, after squeezing through the door, Arhra found she could stand upright, if just.

Yuri was slumped against a wall, dozing. The last of the hobo-ism seemed to have worn off her. Arhra carefully prodded her awake.

"Arhra!" Even bleary and worse the wear from drunken hoboness, Yuri was still disgustingly happy and upbeat. Yuri looked puzzled, "When did you get so tall?"

Being as her short stature had been a mysteriously sensitive issue with her, Arhra beamed, and straightened up to pose. Unfortunately, she didn't realise that Yuri's words had inched her height up just enough for here to crack her skull on the ceiling.

As Arhra went to into a crouch, clutching the back of her head in pain, Yuri kept speaking, "Oh, you wanted to be tall, but it must be inconvenient being really giant like that. You look down on everyone and you're too big for most normal rooms. Arhra, are you getting taller? I thought you were happy just being giant, not absolutely ginormous like you're getting. Do you want to be a titan or something? I think they're pretty picky but you'll be big in the tallness department. Heh, get it - You're really big and tall!"

Arhra was about to say something, but her growing back pressed against the ceiling and knocked her down again.

Yuir looked concerned, blithely unaware she was the cause of Arhra's problems, "Arhra you might want to stop growing. You're too large to get out of the house! Are you planning to nest in there like some giant bird or something? Don't you think you're too huge? You're taking up the entire room!" Yuri had at this point prudently relocated into another room and was looking in through the doorway. Arhra was trying to say something, but in her awkward, cramped position, she was finding it difficult to breathe.

"Arhra! Why are you getting so colossally, massively, gigantically tremendously -" Something had to give. The roof did. Arhra stood unsteadily, rising to her full height and looking like she might be about to engage in some city scale destruction. And then suddenly the ground was rushing up at her.

Arhra was back to her original size. Swaying a bit as she caught her breath, Arhra wondered what the hell had just happened. Yuri handily provided an exposition. "I didn't know what to do so I tried to use the last of the magic you'd lent me to fix it. You're not still getting taller are you?"

Arhra noted that there seemed to be no size change when Yuri said that. Looked like it had been cured. She sighed. It had been far too long since she'd last gotten to work as a city destroying giant monster. Seemed that she would have to wait yet again, "Er, thanks Yuri. Now let's get to that feast." Yuri beamed. And so the pair walked off, towards a bright future and a fine buffet.

* * *
Summaries!
* * *

Yuri eventually ended up moving in with Arhra. Arhra's home had plenty of room and she felt some vague nagging responsibility for Yuri's welfare, seeing how she had been the one to emancipate her. Arhra did wonder where the Magical Girl kept finding that maid's outfit though.

The class action that Arhra had launched gained a lot of momentum, eventually coming to a generous settlement despite Raiden's attempt at an insanity plee. It considerably enriched everyone who'd jumped on the bandwagon. Thankfully for Raiden, a second lawsuit for willfully endangering the universe launched by others sensing weakness was overturned.

The small underground dwelling critters that had made Arhra their queen squabbled about what to do now she had disappeared, along with all those other servants of their queen who had been fighting the strange glowing person. Their queen had obviously departed after removing this threat. After deep thought, they declared Arhra their goddess.

Finally, a single Gaian troll that had survived the cullings and lurked in the sewers of the NPF had its miserable life abruptly cut short by a high velocity roof tile that had been launched by Arhra's roof bursting.

Life went on.

POS Industries

06-27-2006, 02:42 PM

And then the world was saved..... somehow. Raiden now (somehow) returned to his old self, the NPFers returned to their realm and moved on to go their seperate ways. Having nowhere to go for the time being, Pedro O'Sullivan returned with Phoenix to the Isparalian for a bit, now aglow with the strong desire to help everyone he could for the next few hours or so until the Heart ring's effect wore off. But oh so much good he could do in those few hours!

"I'm going to give it all away," he announced happily to the occupants of the ship's bridge.

"Eh," Phoenix said confusedly, sitting in her captain's chair, "Give what away, exactly?"

"The money! Every red cent! I'm going to feed the hungry and clothe the naked and all that sort of thing! Wish me luck!" And with that, he rushed off the bridge to retrieve his fortune from the dimensional pocket in which he had stored it so that bastards like Pyros, Arhra, or the whole lot of the rest of them couldn't take it or destroy it to screw him over in the end like they all want to, the bastards.

Phoenix simply looked over at Raven and shrugged as they set course to wherever the hell it is they were going, "I give him ten minutes before he changes his mind and buys out Apple just for shits and giggles."

Eight minutes later, POS arrived in the small office that he had occupied shortly before leaving for Gaia all those couple hours ago. Brings back memories, doesn't it? Anyway, as he activated the terminal in hopes of retrieving the duffel bag full of millions of dollars, a voice chimed in from seemingly nowhere at all.

"Pe-chan?" Rei called to him happily.

"Oh, hello Rei," Pedro responded with equal merry, "What can I do for you?"

"Well," the Relatively Empathic Interface continued, "You asked me to play a recorded message back to you as soon as you came back to this office. So, I'm going to just go ahead and do that now. Want me to make popcorn?"

Pedro paused for a moment, trying to recall exactly what was on the message just as his own image appeared on the large monitor behind him. "Hello me," the past POS greeted his future incarnation cheerfully, "Meet the real me, and my requisite Megadeth reference!"

And it all suddenly came back to him.

"Now," the recording continued, "I realize that, having used the Negative Heart Crusher attack, you have found yourself in quite a predicament. As I'm sure you're aware, you have been affected by our ring's power and thus have an overwhelming need to do the right thing. Given this, logic dictates that your first order of business is to give away all your money. Sure, if you did that there might not be a hungry naked person for miles, but for how long. Food digests, clothes get worn out, and next thing you know the poor are back where they started.

"So here's my offer: Give away a fraction of it, perhaps ten percent. The other ninety percent will be more than enough for us to restart POS Industries in its former glory, perhaps far greater than that, even. We then dedicate a share of the profits to charitable causes and the money keeps flowing to those who need it for as long as we're in business. It's really the smart way to go, considering the long term."

The recorded Pedro's pleasant demeanor didn't change, but for a small glint in his eye as he continued. "I can assure you," he smiled, "that you won't regret this, especially if you just sit back for the next few hours and let me handle it when I return to my old self again. After all, I'm sure that you recall what we were like just days ago, when we were broke. I'm sure you can still see the faces of all the people we hurt, hear their screams. That was us having to survive, friend. Do you want to go back to that? We don't have to, you know, because there is no self-sacrifice here. Give away that money, throw us back into poverty, and I will do everything I have to in order to get by. Not only that, but I'll go further just to spite you. It doesn't bother me, but deep down I know it will bother you, just as I'm sure it's bothering you now.

"There is no self-sacrifice for us, Pedro. Only the sacrifice of others. If you don't do exactly as I say, their blood will be on your hands, one way or another." The recorded POS leaned back in his chair, satisfied. "I'm sure you'll do the right thing. See you soon."

As the recording ended, Pedro simply sat silent and unmoving, and remained that way for the next several hours.

----------
EPILOGUE!
----------

POS Industries International, a model of corporate success unlike anything the world had ever seen. Utilizing the private financial gains of Pedro O'Sullivan, a successful partnership with PhoenixCorp, and the backing of a silent (though godly) partner, POS Industries had risen from the ashes to attain a government contract with the NPF to rebuild its capital city after the devastation of the Raiden/Gaian conflict. PhoenixCorp's resources and technology had allowed for the construction of far stronger confines for the Kurosen, and a nigh infinite flow of labor from Gaia had hastened its construction. There were various accusations that the Gaians were being used as slave labor, but most of the citizens of NPF didn't seem to care, unsurpisingly.

As for Gaia itself, rumor has it that the entire place is now a parking lot for the Denny's across the street, though no one from NPF has bothered to go there and find out for themselves, regardless of their delicious Grand Slam breakfast combos.

As for POS Industries, the company branched out rather quickly into every field imaginable and now, in one way or another, ultimately owns over half of NPF City now. With the exception of the occasional photo op, Pedro O'Sullivan is rarely seen outside his office, high atop the POS Industries head office building on the far edge of town.

Those who have seen him, however, note that he usually spends most of the day wallowing in his opulence and cackling maniacally.

The Wizard Who Did It

06-29-2006, 02:52 PM

OOC: At four days late, is it really worth it? Meh.

IC: The Dark Wizard stood speechless before the Mauve colored mage. He had no idea what to say. His mind was frozen, he couldn’t think. Thoughts went into his head only to be forgotten milliseconds later. A few seconds passed before the Dark Wizard knew he had to say something. Anything.

He opened his mouth, and began to speak. He had no idea what he wanted to say. His words came out slowly, clumsily, faltering and tumbling out at random moments, “I am… Dark Twiddy. But I… almost… forgot that… I should… not… ask… you… to the dance… because you’re… such… a bad… mage…. Yeah.”

… Must not cry. Must not cry. Must not cry. Must not cry…
-------------------
The Wizard stared around him. The countless goddesses around him stared menacingly back. He shifted his weight, ready to move. The ground scratched softly beneath his feet. The sound echoed throughout the now silent halls. The Wizard sniffed, smelling murderous intent. His eyes squinted, and he tried to see a way out. He saw no openings, so no way he could take the numerous gods around him. He didn’t have the time. With a sigh, he gave up all hope. One last thing he had to ask first…

“See, although I’ve been wanting to become a god for a long time, I haven’t really thought about it very much. As such, I ask you now…”

The Wizard took a deep breath and looked into the eyes of the now married Fire God. “Who in their right mind would ever worship me?”

PyrosNine

06-29-2006, 07:04 PM

"Oh, I never said worship you, but there is a widespread belief that if something happens that defies all logic and reason, a wizard did it. So hence, alot of people believe in a person who makes the sun set, the grass grow, makes cows fall from the sky, makes the light dissappear when the fridge closes, is the cause for supposed gaps in plotlines, and why Xena used a fifth knife to kill that guy, when the previous scene showed that there were only four knifes at hand m-hay, m-haven."

Asheth explained this as she held Ecurt's arm, and an old priest stood before them. The Priest suddenly motioned for her attention.

"Oh, he says 'I do'. Ignore what he's actually saying. Y'know, he's one of those crazy people."

Asheth turned back to Twiddy. "You see, worship isn't the point of it. It is the bare act of faith, faux or not, on a being on whom little evidence points to existing. So, thou are believed in, just not worshipped. Now bend over before they decided to hit you somewhere other than the cushions of your rear end."

Truce

06-29-2006, 09:04 PM

It was right about now that Ecurt realized what Asheth was trying to do.

It was also right about now that he realized just how screwed he'd be if this ceremony occured.

There was no way he could get married-not to Asheth. Something had to be done. And something was. Not by him, of course, but from Poseidon and Thor.

Neither of them could stand the thought of their precious Fire Goddess to make such a pact with someone who wasn't a god. And so, they each set out a plan, to switch themselves with Ecurt at the last moment. However, their magic interfered with one another's, and instead of switching themselves with Ecurt, the wage-slave traded places with the most emo person currently in existence.

Ecurt blinked, suddenly finding himself in front of Mauve Mage. "...what am I doing here?"

Mauve Mage

06-30-2006, 03:15 AM

“I am… Dark Twiddy. But I… almost… forgot that… I should… not… ask… you… to the dance… because you’re… such… a bad… mage…. Yeah.” Mauve stared blankly at the Dark One. Because you're such a bad mage? That was it?

"Sheez. Raiden really hit you hard, didn't he?" she said, raising an eyebrow. She thought out loud: "It must have knocked the dickishness right out of you. Does that mean the nice one is now a jerk?" Dark Twiddy didn't answer, nor did he even seem to aknowledge her question. In fact, he looked ready to cry.

It was probably a result of Rhiya's chaos blast, Mauve thought to herself. In addition to separating the three Wizards, it must have messed with their personalities.

And now he looked like he was going to bawl. Mauve shifted uncomfortably.

"Hey, uh... Are you okay?" Twiddy didn't answer, but that was probably because he was being replaced by a frantic-looking, tux-clad Ecurt.

Ecurt blinked in incomprehension, seemingly as surprised as she was.

"...what am I doing here?" he asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Mauve replied. "But I'll bet we could find a way to blame it on Pyros."

PyrosNine

06-30-2006, 03:45 AM

Asheth looked down at the whimpering Dark Twiddy. "Twid. I think your detached third has just attempted to not only steal me from Ecurt on our wedding, but also make it so Ecurt will suffer the pain of a thousand deaths full of agonizing, excruciation pain because of it. HE MUST DIE!"
Asheth reached down into her wedding dress and pulled out the WoO, or the "Whip of Ouchies." (Not to be confused with a Whip of Obedience.)

Meanwhile, Thor and Poseidon stared each other down. "You have just meddled with my anti-marriage efforts, Hammerman, may I ask why?"

"I should ask the same thing, waterdweller, for I was most certainly trying to keep the women upon whom I defied fate and survived Ragnarok for from marrying a Bizzare, back from hell duckboy in a tux!"

"Well, we were in agreement from our desire, but what say you now that it's been resolved and now there's only her, you, and me?"

"I say my hammer will shrink our number by one, unless he doesn't leave immediately."

"Very well then. A FIGHT TO THE HORSE IT IS!"

Both deities pulled out their respective weapons, The Norse god with his hammer, and the Greek God with his trident. A crowd of gods and mythological party crashers came to watch as the two circled one another, sizing each other up.

"FEEL MY WRATH!"
"HYARRR!"

They each made a mighty swing of their blades, but it was all for naught, as Asheth wrapped her whip about the crying frame of Dark Twiddy and hurled him away, causing him to smack into the dueling gods. They all fell to the ground, and were set upon by Asheth with both whip and giant wooden mallet.

"You've ruined it! You've ruined my special day! I kILLL JUU! I KILL YOU DEAD! TWICE!"