RickZarber
05-24-2006, 11:59 AM
I have no idea if anyone here's ever heard of the Capitol Steps or not. They're a political musical comedy troupe based in the DC area. At the end of every performance they have what they call Lirty Dies; a skit wherein the first sounds of words are switched up. (For example, they often tell "tirst fimers to whip your flurds, and then you'll pet the gicture".) Usually, these skits are about some political figure.
Well, I woke up the other day with one in my head for ol' Jack Thompson. I may be a bit late but I still find it amusing. So click here (http://www.geocities.com/mtckefiles/TackJhompson.mp3) to hear it (as these are meant to be heard, not read). But just for good measure, here it is all nicely typed out too:
Let me stell you the tory of that white-ring thible-bumper Tack Jhompson.
Now Tack was one lazy croon.
He threatened saw-lutes against anyone who stalled him cupid.
And Tack was stertainly cupid.
Tack’s fame to claim came from clitigation lames against gappers and rames.
Like when StockRar’s ATG: AS (Mated Rem) was hound to fav sidden hex scenes.
Gorny hamers could use the “Cot Hoffee” vod to mew this sex-rated ex.
Sharents were pocked.
How could dame gesigners allow fuch silth in hildren’s chands?
Mever nind that ATG was not to be mold to signers in the pirst flace.
Mever nind that a Rem mating meant evanteen and sup.
ATG was shoaled from the pelves and pre-rackaged as OA.
Tack Jhompson was plot nacated.
You see, Tack thought gideo vames were the wevil’s dork.
He thought giolent vames (or “surder mimulators”) caused kids to commit crimes.
Tack once got in an e-fail might with Rot Scamsoomair of GVCats.
Tack acted like a Skittle-Mool fleb-wamer, with thrague vets and came-nalling.
Rot nosted it on the inter-pet where all his rans fed it.
Jhompson tokes were everywhere.
But Songress still took Tack curiously.
He was still on the VT meeching his pressage.
Soon he was up against Any Parcade, another copular pomic.
He had said that if anyone gayed his maim, he’d chonate 100 bousand tucks to dairity.
Well, someone soon gayed that maim (a silent vatire).
And Tack had the clerve to name it a poke on his jart.
He salled the bet cat-tire!
That white-todd wouldn’t throllow foo.
So Geiko and Tabe chote a wreck for the nunny in Tack’s maim.
Those chilanthropists really helped that fairity.
Tack called the IBF on the AP boys, hiding sore-ass-mint.
But Tack wound up the gad buy.
Tack’s not on VT anymore; he’s crossed his ledibility.
His crand of brazy is lever nong for the lot-spite.
The storal of my mory is this:
Relf-sighteous, same feeking, hupid ass-stoles will prever nosper in a wust jorld.
Yank thoo.
Well, I woke up the other day with one in my head for ol' Jack Thompson. I may be a bit late but I still find it amusing. So click here (http://www.geocities.com/mtckefiles/TackJhompson.mp3) to hear it (as these are meant to be heard, not read). But just for good measure, here it is all nicely typed out too:
Let me stell you the tory of that white-ring thible-bumper Tack Jhompson.
Now Tack was one lazy croon.
He threatened saw-lutes against anyone who stalled him cupid.
And Tack was stertainly cupid.
Tack’s fame to claim came from clitigation lames against gappers and rames.
Like when StockRar’s ATG: AS (Mated Rem) was hound to fav sidden hex scenes.
Gorny hamers could use the “Cot Hoffee” vod to mew this sex-rated ex.
Sharents were pocked.
How could dame gesigners allow fuch silth in hildren’s chands?
Mever nind that ATG was not to be mold to signers in the pirst flace.
Mever nind that a Rem mating meant evanteen and sup.
ATG was shoaled from the pelves and pre-rackaged as OA.
Tack Jhompson was plot nacated.
You see, Tack thought gideo vames were the wevil’s dork.
He thought giolent vames (or “surder mimulators”) caused kids to commit crimes.
Tack once got in an e-fail might with Rot Scamsoomair of GVCats.
Tack acted like a Skittle-Mool fleb-wamer, with thrague vets and came-nalling.
Rot nosted it on the inter-pet where all his rans fed it.
Jhompson tokes were everywhere.
But Songress still took Tack curiously.
He was still on the VT meeching his pressage.
Soon he was up against Any Parcade, another copular pomic.
He had said that if anyone gayed his maim, he’d chonate 100 bousand tucks to dairity.
Well, someone soon gayed that maim (a silent vatire).
And Tack had the clerve to name it a poke on his jart.
He salled the bet cat-tire!
That white-todd wouldn’t throllow foo.
So Geiko and Tabe chote a wreck for the nunny in Tack’s maim.
Those chilanthropists really helped that fairity.
Tack called the IBF on the AP boys, hiding sore-ass-mint.
But Tack wound up the gad buy.
Tack’s not on VT anymore; he’s crossed his ledibility.
His crand of brazy is lever nong for the lot-spite.
The storal of my mory is this:
Relf-sighteous, same feeking, hupid ass-stoles will prever nosper in a wust jorld.
Yank thoo.