#694: "That's stupid and you're stupid for repeating it."

[Kurosen]

NPCs need to shut up and take care of their own problems.

[JamezBfod]

Those quotes were right out of the game. I don't think I've seen that since Garland's famous line. "I, Garland, shall knock you all down!"

And BM's reaction to it is just PRICELESS I tell you. Even fighter would figure it out. The difference being, fighter actually cares.

Edit: It was a pirate sprite that captured the fairy, I believe. And it was in a different town entirely than the rest of those quotes. Most are from Gaia I think. Is BM going to get the catclaw now? The stabbings to come... oh my.

[powermast56]

Ah, yes. No mental rest for BM. I bet if we could see his face right now, it would be a mix of these: :stressed: :O_o: :gonk:
Yeeeeeaaaah.

[Roland]

Has anyone here played Aidyn Chronicles: The First Mage? And did you get to the first village?

If so, I think you'll agree with me. Pardon my language, but villagers are dicks.

[mammothtank]

About the man in orange in panel 5: If that's exactly what he says in the game, then I bet he stops there because they ran out of room in the text box.

I think "What kind of moron town is this?" would've been a better thread title, but maybe that's just me.

[Chrismith]

Haha....love it. I remember having pretty much the same reaction as BM upon seeing the guy end his text in the middle of his sentence. Gotta love FF1 and its lack of scrolling text boxes.

[greed]

I think we're gonna see a new variation on the stabbing this time.

BM tying knives to his shoes and Goblin Punching the villagers.:D

[Vaij]

Indeed. This is why they're probably going to burn the town.

[PyrosNine]

I was noticing that the final NPC is a modified White Mage sprite, and yet I wonder if that has any meaning to it.

Of course, at least that is probably what WM would look like outside of her robes and into one of BM's dreams.

[zealshadow]

I wonder if Brian used FF1 or DOS to find this quotes.

[greed]

I was noticing that the final NPC is a modified White Mage sprite, and yet I wonder if that has any meaning to it.

Of course, at least that is probably what WM would look like outside of her robes and into one of BM's dreams.

Maybe she won't recognise him, this could be good.

[Black Sword]

I sense a town about to become a giant crater thanks to one massive Hadoken. And Thief will probably cash in on the insurance.

[MFok]

I dunno... maybe no Hadoken... That girl looks awfully like WM and I sense side plots coming on...

[The Wandering God]

No, that wasn't WM. That is the dancer sprite.

Besides, wouldn't BM immediately recognize her? Her face isn't obscured in any way.

Anyway, this is one of those comics that I don't find particulary funny, but just love because it brings about that sense of nostalgia, then gives it that funny bent as you remember how you reacted to all the NPCs randomly giving out advice that would help the protagonists.

The Wandering God

[Lord Kibble]

Brilliant! This is easily one of my favorite comics in a while.

And are the townsfolk in FFI really that eloquent? For a game from that era, you'd think that more of them would be fluent in Engrish.

[greed]

No, that wasn't WM. That is the dancer sprite.

Besides, wouldn't BM immediately recognize her? Her face isn't obscured in any way.

Anyway, this is one of those comics that I don't find particulary funny, but just love because it brings about that sense of nostalgia, then gives it that funny bent as you remember how you reacted to all the NPCs randomly giving out advice that would help the protagonists.

The Wandering God

If you'll look you will see that BM hasn't at her face yet in the comic.

[BetaRuler]

Did Black mage forget his knife? His patience snapped ages ago around the first 20 comics! It hasn't exactly been fixed ever since it snapped all that way back either as far as I care! So either he's forgotten his knife. Hasn't any spells due to not resting properly, or he's no longer our usual 'stabbity' Black Mage :|

Brilliant! This is easily one of my favorite comics in a while.

And are the townsfolk in FFI really that eloquent? For a game from that era, you'd think that more of them would be fluent in Engrish.

That was bad translation to English originally! Remember Garland with his "SMACK YOU ALL DOWN" line, that was how it was put in the game as well, bad translations to English! Thats what happened!

[Lord Kibble]

I can't understate just how unlikely it is that the female sprite in WM in disguise.

First of all, that sort of supraliminal encouragement is the sort of thing you'd expect from her before BB took a second job as confetti. She's been too full of doubt and self-loathing lately to merely resume her old practices at the drop of a hat.

Second, having tried previously to nudge the Light Warriors in the right direction so overtly, WM of all people would realize the futility of this sort of approach on anyone other than RM.

That's not even taking into account that such a revealing outfit would scarcely be approved by the Order of White Mages, nor how she managed to sucker the remainder of the (admittedly slow-witted) townsfolk into cooperating with her scheme.

[Trixbeat]

I think I would go berzerk if NPC's randomly came up to you and spoke crap. Although I still prefer the Fighter-Cornelia Guard conversation.

[Seran]

The quotes were Final Fantasy, not Final Fantasy Dawn of Souls. In Dawn of Souls, they speak of Lufenia and Lufenian language. The man who took the fairy was already in the desert with the caravan and fairy, so one would have to seek him out by means of information from his daughter. The person who exclaimed how far north they had gotten -- if I recall correctly -- was either a girl or an old man, but the quote went a little differently.

This comic was just funny. NPCs walking up and randomly stating their problems and thoughts...that would majorly creep me out.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

I was noticing that the final NPC is a modified White Mage sprite, and yet I wonder if that has any meaning to it.

You wound me.

Actually, that dancer sprite is completely original. Mostly. The body was made using the two females from FF2j as a guide, but removing body armor. I think I used the same body for WM's baywatch outfit, but the dancer was actually created first.

As for the head, I enlarged the overland FF3j dancer, and modified it until it looked good. Just like I did with the Chocobo head.

I admit, she does have red hair & because the sprites only allow so much detail, there isn't a huge difference, but that ain't WM.

SWB

[Mikaga]

It may not be WHM (hard to spell it "WM" now, heh. Stupid FFXI...), but it seems everyone else has missed something (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010521) here.

[PyrosNine]

You wound me.


Yes, yes I do and you're all the better for it.

[Natheson]

I think this is my most favorite comic of them all. And I've never chosen a favorite before. The whole punchline of NPCs being babbling morons was handled in a non-garden variety way.
I was noticing that the final NPC is a modified White Mage sprite, and yet I wonder if that has any meaning to it.

Of course, at least that is probably what WM would look like outside of her robes and into one of BM's dreams.
Naw that's just a Dancer. Pretty well made, too.

[MetalPsycho]

FUCK NPCS!

*cough* Anyway, Red Mage and Fighter best finish up their shopping. Cause there ain't gona be much of a town around if this keeps up.

[Vaij]

Me thinks that the town will have a more 'assorted, burned debris' quality to it very soon.

[Nucleus]

FUCK NPCS! The latest Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion mod!

[CrotchKnocker]

"FUCK NPCS!" mod? hook me up!
on a more on topic note...
Me thinks that the town will have a more 'assorted, burned debris' quality to it very soon.
Damn right!:D

[Satan's Onion]

I dunno. It's not entirely impossible for me to imagine that BM would find just a bit more patience...he'd probably see it hiding deep in Dancer's cleavage.

[Dark Assassin]

Well, looks like I get to say "To hell with Sarda's airsub! They're either gonna get the good submarine or the mermaids will fortify it so that it won't kill them all!"

Wow, that felt good. I'm one of those gamers that don't really talk to NPCs. Sometimes that's just a good way to speed the game up. Sometimes it just bites me in the ass. I just rely on guides for the answer to why I'm stuck, but only when I'm stuck and only for my problem. That's what Black Mage and the others should do. They have that issue of Nintendo Power.

I'd actually like to see them use the Nintendo Power again. Maybe get some directions to their next destination without Sarda butt-fuggin' them.

I wonder how Thief's airsub insurance scam is doing.

[Buddha Fett]

Well done Brian, another great comic. I'm looking forward to seeing whether or not BM goes on another killing spree.

[Ryong]

And this is why the character goes talk with the NPCs, not the other way around.

[Tiako]

I was noticing that the final NPC is a modified White Mage sprite, and yet I wonder if that has any meaning to it.
I think it means the FFI didn't have too vast a varaity of sprite models.

This reminds me of a bar in NWN. I went to the waitress to see if I could get anything, and she referred me to the cook. I went to the cook, and you can guess what happened.

Fricken NPCs.

Also, I might as well ask, why is it called rube duty?

[catlover20410]

Rubes=locals.


Bm has a new target for his horrible, HORRIBLE pickup lines.

Who are these "sky warriors" and what is this "flying object"?
I mean in the context of the game, not the comic.

[Skyshot]

The five Sky Warriors were predecessors to the Light Warriors, and the original owners of the airship. The flying object was a robot holding onto a cube that lets it fly.

Also, I haven't laughed like this in a long time. Even when I go back to the comic and already know the joke, I still laugh till it hurts. NPCs are just weird.

[Seran]

The Sky Warriors had disappeared after they -- well, actually, I can't remember. I do remember something about the Lufenians having sent some warriors out but the warriors never returned...then later in the game, it is revealed that the bats in the Chaos Shrine (Temple of Fiends) were actually those same warriors, having been cursed and rendered without voices,

[Derbeste]

[font=courier new]The five Sky Warriors were predecessors to the Light Warriors, and the original owners of the airship. The flying object was a robot holding onto a cube that lets it fly.


Are you sure?

I thought the float rock found in the ice cave let the airship fly. I played FF1 through many times, but never played Dawn of Souls. I assume it's the same though.

The shining object flying to the east I always understood to be the fairy before it was captured and bottled by the pirate.

The cube you are referring to was the key to get from the sun tower to the sky castle to fight Tiamat, the fiend of Wind.

[Skyshot]

Point by point --

I thought the float rock found in the ice cave let the airship fly.It gets the airship out of the desert, but someone in Lefein tells you about the past owners of the airship. Note the helicopter rotors.The shining object flying to the east I always understood to be the fairy before it was captured and bottled by the pirate.I always understood him to have kidnapped it out of the spring.The cube you are referring to was the key to get from the sun tower to the sky castle to fight Tiamat, the fiend of Wind.The robot in the tower agrees with me, if I remember correctly.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

The Story of the Sky Warriors:

In the original Final Fantasy 1 game, the Sky Warriors were a band of 5 warriors put together by the residents of Lefein, formerly the rightful owners of the Sky Castle, before they got kicked out by Tiamat. The Sky Warriors were given the task of defeating the Fiends, and returning the people Lefein to the Sky Castle. (And can you blame them for wanting to get back to Sky Castle? I mean the town of Lefein is a dump, and don't get me started about the swaddling cloths the citizens are forced to wear since the robots revolted.)

However, they screwed up really badly.

Details are minimum, but what we do know is that they landed (& subsequently broke) their airship in the Ryukahn desert. Personally, I blame heavy drinking.

From there, the Sky Warriors managed to eventually make their way to the Temple of Fiends hanging out at bats, the reason you can't understand these bats at first is because they speak Lefeinish. The Sky Warriors claim that it was Chaos who transformed them into their current bat-like state, but let me ask you this, in all the times you've played FF1, has Chaos ever used a bat transformation spell on you?

I think not!

Could the Sky Warriors perhaps used a spell that transformed them into bats, so they could get to the Temple of Fiends, only then finding out that they couldn't transform back? Maybe...

Or at least that's my own personal theory.

As for in-comic, there hasn't been a showing of the Sky Warriors thus far. I have a theory that somehow the Lite Warriors will encounter a Sky Warrior bat offering up the Sky Warrior gig, and turning the 4 of them into Legendary Sky Warriors Bats (because the Sky Warrior gig is a 5 person deal, and they also have to be cursed bats. I don't know why.)

Of course, Brian might have a better idea, but since he mentioned them in this latest comic, I suspect he has some intention of using them eventually.

SWB
- Personally, I've always taken it that the Floater rock (which you get from the Eye monster in the Ice Cave), is used to both raise the Airship from the Ryukahn desert, as well as fix it.
= In the Waterfall Cave, you discover a robot who has stolen the CHIME which is a device that lets you operate the Mirage Tower, so you can get to Sky Castle.

[Demonlink2]

I wonder if BM will randomly barge into someone's house like in most RPGs. I always love to do that, just barge in like you own the world.

[Lord Kibble]

Hey SWB, while we're vaguely touching on the topic, what's up with that single blank pixel on WM's face, just below her eye?

[Mauve Mage]

I wonder if BM will randomly barge into someone's house like in most RPGs. I always love to do that, just barge in like you own the world. Breaking, entering, and robbing them blind. Oh, how wonderful it is to be the noble hero in an RPG.

[Demonlink2]

Why does that sound like something theif will do after "not" committing airsub fraud?

[Flarecobra]

Hey SWB, while we're vaguely touching on the topic, what's up with that single blank pixel on WM's face, just below her eye?


If you look, 95% of FF 8-bit female sprites have that.

[Sky Warrior Bob]

That white pixel usually either indicates youth or is attributed to a female. I think its supposed to indicate a shine on the cheeks, kinda like how they give little red cheeks to young anime characters.

It was on FF3j's White Mage long before I even got to her, but I have had a habit of putting it on all my female sprites since.

SWB

[Tiako]

I just thought of something. Have the LWs already encountered Tiamat? Because if they haven't, then I think there is a good chance they will pick up a new quest. By the way, are the LWs on the Main Quest with Sarda, or is it just a side-quest from Hell?

[Sky Warrior Bob]

Tiamat comes after Kraken. Tiamat is the Fiend of air, Kraken the Fiend of water. Kraken guards the water orb (which is what they're after now), and Tiamat guards the air orb (which we assume they'll go after next).

Unless Brian is going to make a switch on us, and opt to go after the air orb first.

SWB

[Flarecobra]

Does that mean we might see your friends, SWB?

And why do I get the feeling that after the Kraken battle, Thief's going to host a sushi bar for a comic?

[Tiako]

I was just thinking that since the LWs are sans air sub, they might have to go to Tiamat first. I mean, they're kind of at square one at moment, and we know that Thief won't use the funds from the not insurance scam for anything useful.

[PCD]

Huh.
You know, it's strange. Pretty much any webcomic you find that's parrying an RPG will, within the first 20 comics, riff on how weird it is that NPCs just say random crap (Often surprisingly relevant to your mission) to you that no normal person would go about saying. And yet Brian has managed to wait until we've nearly hit number 700 to make this observation.
And while this material is by no means new, I still somehow manage to be amused. Not as amused as I would have been if it weren't such a common joke, But amused nonetheless.
...The Sky Warriors, eh? ...What?
On another attention-whoring note, yay for 200 posts!

[Ryong]

Breaking, entering, and robbing them blind. Oh, how wonderful it is to be the noble hero in an RPG.

Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.

Hey, I Know You, Three!
Furthermore, expect to encounter most of the following obligatory non-player chararcters (NPCs):
The townsperson or crewmember who wanders aimlessly in circles and never quite gets where he is going.

Puddin' Tame Rule
The average passer-by will always say the same thing no matter how many times you talk to them, and they certainly won't clarify any of the vaguely worded warnings or cryptic half-sentences they threw at you the previous time.

Perversity Principle
If you're unsure about what to do next, ask all the townspeople nearby. They will either all strongly urge you to do something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing, or else they will all strongly warn you against doing something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing.

The grand list of console RPG clichés is a good thing.

[Tiako]

And yet Brian has managed to wait until we've nearly hit number 700 to make this observation.
I hate to burst your bubble, but within twenty comics (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010412)there were the guards at the gate who only said "welcome to Corneria". Fighter had a (not so) surprisingly intellegent conversation with one.

[mammothtank]

The grand list of console RPG clichés is a good thing.It is at that. (http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html) I mean come on, clichés are part of what make some games entertaining. "Hey, I've seen that before!" It also seems to apply to webcomics based on games, about which jokes are made to increase the humor factor. Fun times.

[PCD]

I hate to burst your bubble, but within twenty comics (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010412)there were the guards at the gate who only said "welcome to Corneria". Fighter had a (not so) surprisingly intellegent conversation with one.
...Damn it.

[Fifthfiend]

Since when does this comic do Final Fantasy jokes?

I'm not sure I care for it, quite frankly.

Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.

It's Locke's Law, and damned Johnny-Come-Latelys the lot of you!

[Jared Todd]

If you'll look you will see that BM hasn't at her face yet in the comic.

Oh! You meant it's her boobs he's looking at! Ha hah ha! That's a good one!

I wonder if BM will randomly barge into someone's house like in most RPGs. I always love to do that, just barge in like you own the world.

Of course. After Brian made BM stand at the street corner to not listen to anyone, and wait for the Lite Warriors.

I hate to burst your bubble, but within twenty comics (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010412)there were the guards at the gate who only said "welcome to Corneria". Fighter had a (not so) surprisingly intellegent conversation with one.

Isn't it, like, each comic that he brings back a joke from the older comics?

[Vidihawk]

Isn't it, like, each comic that he brings back a joke from the older comics?

I am decently certain he didn't do so in the first comic... I'll have to reread it and all the previous, though... Just to be sure.

[JONJONAUG]

"Welcome to Corneria"

Strangely familiar here...