White Lines, not to be confused with Cocaine.

[Hizke]

Okay. So I have this comic I started. It only has five friggin' pages up, and only one of them relates to any specific story at all, which will probably follow through with little to no continuity.

Please note also that I cannot color and my knowledge of Paintshop is limited. I just learned how to adjust levels last night.

So, here it is! (http://drunkduck.com/White_Lines) Feedback can be left with me here, where I will gladly take criticism and ideas. Oh, and... Anyone with the ability to color... Feel free to call me... >;3

TEH EMAILZZ O RLY??? (Hizke@hotmail.com)

Your gracious, subjugated vassal,
Etn--

Hizke

[shiney]

Your comic is actually pretty good. It's really difficult to follow the panels sometimes, but really...

FuFuFu...Take your clothes off.

I laughed.

[misterchainsaw]

Your comic is, confusing random and enjoyable to read. I like it, definitly make more.

[Sean C]

Well, I hate to disagree with everyone here, but this comic, well, sucks. I know the point is to be random, but there's random that good and there's the kind of random that doesn't add to the humor. This strip uses the latter.

Problems to address:

Art - It's just another quickie "manga" (Believe me, this may look like manga, but it ain't real manga.) You're using tired facial expressions and general manga stereotypes, and it's been done to death. Whenever I see that kind of thing, I think that the artist has no grasp on what manga really is. The lines are hard to make out, and the scans are awful on the eyes. Pick up a pen and ink this, or at least adjust the levels/brightness/contrast of the strip before you post them. The character designs use WAY too many cliches, and are quite ugly and unimaginative.

Humor - It's not funny at all. "Take your clothes off." BWAHAHA! Is he drunk? That jokes been done a million times before. Get some original material. The randomness only makes an (visually) near-unreadable comic more so. Pointless violence such as the axe joke does not a funny comic make. It just makes you, the creator, look very, very disturbed.

I'm sorry if I'm sounding harsh, but this comic needs a HELL of a lot more development; you should have waited a while longer before you launched, especially if you need to learn more about the digital aspects of webcomicking.

[BlackMageGirl!]

How about cleaning it up a little? @@ I would read more and give more, but I can't follow it at all. I think actually understanding what they're saying comes before deciding if it's funny or not.

[Rezero]

I don't get it. None of it flows together. It has no literary value that I can detect. It seems to follow the compisition of Hitler's Mien Kampf (In organization, not content) in that its like an illustrated diary; just a bunch of random thoughts and feelings thrown together with no thought to order.

[Esquire]

Pretty much what everyone else has said. It looks like a bunch of rough sketches instead of a finished product. The humor is a rehash of half of the webcomics out there (i.e., manga and/or vg humor), and it gives me a headache trying to follow it.

[Roy_D_Mylote]

Yeah, not seeing where a lack of literary value is a negative towards a comic. Know what has "literary value"? To Kill a Mockingbird, that's what. And did it suck? Hell yes.

Whereas, Something Positive lacks typical literary value, and it's one of the most besterest things everz.

Me talk good.

[Meister]

Thread necromancy much, Roy?

Ya know, if at least you had said something about the comic instead of making a generic statement on writing.