Dungeons & Dragons

[weezix]

this does belong in this section, because its under roleplaying, and it doesnt say you have to roleplay it can be about roleplaying :cool:

Anyway just wondering how many of you take part in dungeons and dragons meetings?

i do, we normally do it every couple of weeks, although i missed the last one because i was ill....sob.

in our group we have a couple of idiots who do stupid things, like:
DM: "you see a goblin carrying the remaining logan berries into a small hole in a large hollow tree, with an opening about 40 foot up"
(the logan berries were needed to cure a disease)
Idiot: "Burn down the tree"
Me: Cast's Ray of frost on the idiots torch! (i was a low level wizard).

anyway any other funny stuff happened in your meetings?

[Kieran Dineer]

Lets see... Once we were eaten by an animated house. That was fun. And my DM has a story about how this guy killed a red dragon with an Oreo, if you wanna hear it.

[weezix]

go on....im intrigued

[JuggyFWB]

I know somebody that killed an Ancient Red Dragon using the Shapeshift spell and not a damn thing else.

[weezix]

we did kill a balrog at level 1, although we were just messing around while someone was in the toilet, we didnt bother doing dice rolls or anything, but i managed to cut off his toe...yay

[Crimson Mage]

My group meets every weeks (yay me!). I have a blast. Usually nothing happens during the session thats funny (Although I did help kill a group of 15 guards that were Lawful good, and me being the Lawful Good Cleric... well you get the idea). Usually its just jokes and weird puns, for example:

DM: You approach the vast mines of the Dwarven Kingdom, you hear the screams of people coming from down inside the tunnel, as if being tortured by some unseen horror

Me: Good thing I prepared my Cure Minor Wouds spell.

[Kieran Dineer]

Well, the party was all level 1 and had lots of gear to go dragon slaying (it was a big party, but he knew that they didn't have a chance). They got climbing gear, weapons, armor, donkies, the whole shabang. But this one guy... He got nothing but a black hooded robe and a bag of Oreos. So, they set off to the mountains with their map and go off to try and slay them a dragon for some gold and other goodies. When they get to the mountain, everyone but the Oreo guy climbs up and then they build an elevator, which the Oreo guy uses to get up along with the donkies.

Then they get to the dragon. It's FAST asleep. Completely asleep. I mean, a bomb could go off and it wouldn't wake up, that's how bad he rolled for it. So they sneak up to it and one guy goes up to pierce its head through its eye and kill it. He SOMEHOW misses and wakes up the dragon. It then burns and eats all of them, except the Oreo guy who's sitting back and watching them.

Okay, so the Oreo guy walks up to the dragon and munches on an Oreo. He has my friend roll a reaction. He rolls that the dragon is afraid of the Oreo guy. REALLY afraid of him. So, as it backs off the Oreo guy throws an Oreo at the dragon, not even hitting it, and he has my friend roll another reaction... The dragon dies of a heart attack...

So then he walks into the cave and there's a newly hatched baby dragon. He convinces it that he's its mother and he uses the baby dragon to take its real mother's treasure back to town.

[weezix]

lol, that dragon story is amazing

[Big McStrongmuscle]

I play with a bunch of friends every week...good times. Course, the only instance I know of to compare with the Oreo tale is one in which six kobolds, a torch, and a bag of flour almost took out a 5th level adventuring party.

[Lian]

We used to get together on weekends, but we ended up breaking off to two different colleges, everyone else in one place and me in the other. This Thanksgiving we might get together again for a session or three.

Hard to recognize a funny thing we did. I KNOW we had them, but I can't remember anything specific.

[Rogue_sqee]

So there We were, sitting In town, My party and I, and I go out to buy things. What do I buy? I already have all the equipment I need, rope, dagger, a bag of holding, a torch, etc. I get one things: A hunk of cheese.
"Why the hell are you getting cheese?" asks the DM.
"You'll see," I reply.
Off we go! Towards the perilous tower! Being the rogue Scout, I gallop ahead of the group. I enter the tower, and knowingly avoid the mindless zombies infesting the tower, heading to the top with noothing on me but rope, a dagger, a bag of holding and a hunk of cheese.
Of course, all of the treasure is in the top level of the tower: I unlock the door and re-lock it. By this time I hear my party entering the bottom of the tower. How? because they are screaming and hacking at zombies. I grin, Pack all the treasure into the bag, and climb out the window on my rope, lighting the torch underneath it so the rope will drop down to me when I reach the bottom.
The DM is fumes "zombies have eaten your steed, you must wait for the party to get back."
I smile, walk over to the cleric's mule, and pull out the hunk of cheese. The party never heard from me again.

[Kaine]

Can't really compare to that last one...

But I do have a decent one.

The party is camping for the night on their way to a city (for some reason I can't remember). There are four people in the party - A huge human fighter with an artifact-like Hammer, a elvish Fighter-Mage with a Staff of the Magi, a halflingthief with a powerful short sword that allows him to attack from distances, and a very intimidating Dark-Paladin (Me, the DM) - and (as the descriptions point out) are all very powerful. So they are camping when, out of the blue (or so they think), a Venerable Red Dragon decides to take a swipe at them. The fighter on duty with the huge hammer prepares himself and wakes the rest as the beast comes barreling down on them from the sky perpendicular to the earth. As it should, the dragon breathes fire - the rest of the party has already scattered, but Oh! Not the valiant fighter with 65 hit points! SO he fails his save, makes his System Shock, then immediately gets crushed underneath the heel of the landing dragon.

A fight ensues, the heroes win...

I feel bad for the fighter and resurrect him through Divine Intervention...

The party feels like there must be a reason that the dragon attacked and so tracks their way to it's cave. There they find a whole slew of treasure... gold, gems, magic items, etc. AMongst those treasures is a milky green potion. No identify spells at the time apparently... Fighter here decides to drink it to find out what it is... fails Poison Save... dies. Gets brought back to life with a little inventive healing potion and poison dispersal potions...

He sees another potion a little ways on in the cave, same milky green, and says, "What are the chances they are both poison...?"

Well... I really doubted whether or not I should allow him to live after dying three times in the course of two hours out of stupidity...

[JohnCourage]

i have been admonished by the almighty mods for this already, but could some one please PLEASE explain how this is more "role playing" and less "video games" than the similar Vampire thread which was (in the infinte wisdom of the mods) moved. no really, i'm asking for help here. really.

[Lian]

Video Games means Video Games. Irrefutably electronic.

Roleplaying may mean RPG, but here I'm guessing it's Pen & Paper. Which I believe the Vampire thread was about.

Nonelectronic does not go with electronic. Zingro.

[JohnCourage]

I guess i will post a story here too. harken my childeren to the Tail of Pete. Pete was a jalior much like anyother. a bit dumber perhapse, but who could blame him? he lived happily in his simple life for years until his dungion was invaded by other members of my party (i was off looting). now Pete was a simple man, and despite his profesion a trusting one. so when 4 armed strangers burst into his room he took them for visitors, and kindly asked them what they were doing in his home. Rather than answer, one asked his name, while another took a red hot poker from the fire place. Pete responded simply "Pete" to this inquirey, and was quite taken aback when the aforementioned hot poker was ramed underneith his arm pit (excelent attack roll, abysmal damage). Seeing that the attack had not had the effect they had wanted it to, the PC explained to Pete that he must have tripped. Poor guilles Pete belived these lies. More "tripping" and stabbing ensued (with continued poor damage), until Pete was left quivering in pain in the corner. Feighning sympathy, the group's mage moved to comfort the poor retard. And, to quote him exactly: 'I tell him "There there." in a soothing voice and pat his back, while i slowly draw my dagger and slam it into the back of his neck.' Thus ends the balad of Pete.

[Strider]

anyway any other funny stuff happened in your meetings?

I'm a DM, and have been playing for about... 7 years now.

I remember way back in the midst of second edition, I was running a campaign where a league of badguys were harassing a group of towns.
So, the good guys eventually foudn their secret hideout, and like all good guys, decided to sneak in. They go into the kitchen and kill all the cooks and stuff them in the pantry (just wait, it gets better). Oh, I forgot ot mention the fact that they stole theor clothes. They put them over their armour.
Then, they find the room where the baddies are discussing their evil plan. Then the good guys kill the guards, straight out (they palnned this all out). They checked the door, it was a large stone door, so the guys inside didn't hear.

So, with the path clear, they go back to the kitchen, grab a trolly, and walk in, (still in the chefs cloths, the whole time).
The 'evil' wizard in the party walks in, behind the trolly, amd the rest of the party behind him and yells: "Who ordered the Fireball!" and blasts them all.

So thats one story.

Another one is kinda shorter.

In 3rd edition, I had a party that contained a half orc. There was this particulary annoying badguy who teleported all over the place, and use illusion spells like crazy. They characters were really annoyed. The bad guy was very charasmatic, and tried to be friends with the party helping them out and stuff (he was a recourring nusense).
So, this half-orc indended (in complete rage at this mage[hehe, it rhymes]), pee in a cup and 'trip' next to the mage, getting orc urine on his fine robes (just to annoy him). So the orc walks up to the mage and 'trips', but the mage casts a cantrip, redirecting the urine back at the orc.
The player was kinda embarassed. And he said, in character, "Don't worry, its my own urine."

Well, those were two of the funniest events in my D&D career.

[High Octane]

First edition
Setting: University
Party: Halfling Illusionist with an affinity for pranks (Dawn)
Drunken Middle Eastern style Cleric with 18 strength (Rashiid)
Elven Theif/Fighter (Orville/not present during this)
Half Elf Ranger (Strathos/me)

Dawn says she looks for a prank to play while Im busy searching the archives (long story)

She sees a "flamboyantly dressed man in purple" walking around surrounded by about 50 young attractive university girls. Dawn attempts to jump into the crowd so she can cast the spell "Grease". Obvious prank. She fails to squeeze into the crowd.

Rashiid approaches, half drunk (but half sober!) asking "You want to get into that crowd?" Dawn nods.

Rashiid gives a push. A full push. At 18 strength. Straight into the crowd. Dawn almost FLIES he pushes so hard.

The gils ALL fall over like duckpins and lots of screaming ensues. The head guy leading them around gets up saying "Fo'shizzle?"

We catch a glimpse of his cloak. On the back it says "Snoop Dogg: Girls Gone Wild"

Strathos says nothing, but sees approaching security. Picks up Dawn, slings her over his shoulder, and runs like hell out of there. Rashiid is hot on his heels.

[Ambassador]

Not a story, per say, but possibly worth sharing. In Second Edition, there was a profoundly useless item listed in the equipment section. The barrel of pickled fish. I was forced to deny two individuals from two different gaming groups proficiency and/or specialization in the barrel of pickled fish. Though the thought had crossed my mind that I should slap together stats for this barrel and allow its use, at least once, for the intrinsic humor factor.

[Jack of Spades]

I have a group that meets weekly. And there are some funny moments.
here's one.
First you have to know this. The party was being followed by a demon who disguised himself as blacksmiths to keep selling them cursed items.
*party enters town**Paladin goes to Church*
Mage:Stupid bullette broke my Staff I'm gonna get it reforged.
Thief: Good plan I'll get some new daggers while we're there.
*enter blacksmithshop*
Mage: Hey we need a new staff and some daggers. Can you help us out Mr...what's your name?
*Demon rolls bluff* it's 1
Demon: I am Na'zghoul of the 534th layer! Tremble before me!
Thief: Hey you do a good evil voice! So how much for the equipment?
Demon:uhhhh...on the house this time

note: Yes the party did eventually kill the demon and it killed them. The Paladin was got in a hit with a +3holy longsword which killed the demon.The demon fell back off a cliff and the thief caught it's foot so he could steal any items it had. The thief started to fall so the Mage grabbed him. When the mage fell the Paladin couldn't pull them all up. The party then fell100feet to thier deaths.

good times good times

[Can O Ninja Repelant]

Hahaha, it's the orc's own pee.

Well, my group plays online half the time, so I have all the chat logs right here for referencing.

My character is Ethran, a charasmatic Rogue/Psion and my friend Jim is Ethran's partner in crime, the homicidal Halfling Rogue Aluvian. We were just told by Pinkish (I call him Pinky) the leader of the local thieve's guild that in order to join we had to raise 2,000 gold each in the next 20 hours. If we failed, a 4,000 gold bounty would be placed on each of our heads.

Pinkish: "Now, get out of here. Remember. Tomorrow, sundown, be here *with* the money."
* Aluvian leaves
Ethran: *sigh* "right, boss."
* Ethran leaves too
Ethran: "Aluvian, we are screwed."
Aluvian: while we're leaving, "so ethran, what do you suppose the best way to get this money would be?"
Aluvian: "i imagine robbing drunkards would waste time since their money has been spent on alcohol."
Ethran: "Well Alu, we could always whore ourselves out to 20 chicks for 100 gold each.
Ethran: or in your case 200 for 10 each."
Aluvian: "how many chicks would pay for a halfling?"
Ethran: "not 200 my friend, not 200."
Aluvian: "so, i guess we have to do it the old way. stealing"

Another good time was when our group was captured by a powerful wizard by the name of Azgrobaht the Endbringer. He kidnapped us in our sleep, and forced us to retrieve a ring that was being held by a group of anti-magic cultists on threat of death. We got the ring and gave it to him, when he started casting a fireball at us. Luckily, the ring absorbed the spell, and Azgrobaht was killed by an imp he was using as a maid (that was being prevented from killing him by a magical shield that was also dispelled by the ring). Upon finally getting to search the tower we were in, we found something: a journal. I can't describe to you how awesome it was, so here it is:

<Shard> From the Diary of Peter the Mighty
<Shard> "Having spent a considerable amount of my resources in preparation for this
undertaking, I think I am finally prepared. The protection ward has been placed, the
circle drawn, the components carefully measured and consumed.... I prepare... soon, I shall
have a demonic thrall of unimaginable power..."
<Shard> From the Diary of Peter the Magnificent
<Shard> " Although my thrall is more....diminutive than I had expected, still he is mine. And
with my loyal demonic servant, none shall stand in my way. I prepare for other ....um...
preparations. *note to self, plan real speeches ahead of time. No person will be intimidated
by a...a...speech bumbler. Let alone one named Peter... I need to do something about that..."
<Shard> From the Diary of Azgrobaht
<Shard> " My studies have brought to my attention a ring of unfathomable power. A ring
which unravels the very tapestry of magic itself. Its bearer would become impervious to
even the mightiest of magicks. NO WIZARD WILL BE MY EQUAL and
whoever...whomever? Yes, whomever stands before me shall rue *the next few lines are
scratched and tattered* This is really starting to become bothersome. My thrall keeps
trying to kill me! It is no match for my ward spell, of course but... he's destroying my stuff! I mean, if not for my
timely intervention with the broom he would have destroyed my diary!.... hmm... Diary... it
sounds... sounds so feminine.... never really noticed that before....tsk, tsk, something must be
done, appearances are everything..."
<Shard> From the Journal of Azgrobaht
<Shard> "Though the preparation has drained what little reserves my coffers still held, I
think I am ready. I have found adequate pawns to retrieve the ring, ( as it'd probably be
for the best if the soon to be former owners of the ring aren't aware of my existence…. At
least until I have a power base to work from) a few carefully chosen ( and quite
expensive!) spells to keep them under my power until they have completed their task. I
have spent nearly all of my vast resources purchasing these scrolls, hopefully
they will do the trick, for if they fail I surely can not yet defeat them. Sure enough one
day I will be of a godlike nature, but for now I am merely a novice as a mage. Hmm...
something's still not right. Not.... imposing, awe-inspiring enough..."
<Shard> From the Doom-log of Azgrobaht the Endbringer
<Shard> " The "noble" adventurers have been awoken....awakened? When I am THE
SUPREME GOD OF THE MULTIVERSE I shall hire.... nay, COMMAND the finest linguist
in the land to answer these questions for me.... anyway, the adventurers have been sent.
When they return with the ring, I shall dispose of them... and then no one will stand in my
way...."
<Aluvian> "we were captured by peter the wizard. i feel so cheap now"
<Ethran> "i feel cheap, too, Alu"

[High Octane]

First edition:

My Elven thief was shooting arrows in a doorway. The Half-Orc with 18(96) Strength, was holding the door open so my thief could shoot arrows at the bees. The half orc was suffering penalties to attack cause he had to hold the door open, so he decided "SCREW IT!"

The player and apparantly the character along with him forgot the thief. He slammed the cast iron door.

Clean unconcious.

[Tor]

3ed.
Look at my sig.

[Necro_Slayer]

I remember i had a two foot tall halfling, and he climbed up a tree that got set on fire by a hellhound, and died..................... :bmage:

[Tor]

Don't mess with the halfings... you can find no better thief, but the scene looks funny.

[Necro_Slayer]

True, that was the first game i ever played

[Necro_Slayer]

i now someone who was killed by an angry badger

[Tor]

What was that then... an ELF?

[Necro_Slayer]

no, a human bard

[Necro_Slayer]

probably got weakened by something else

[JuggyFWB]

That reminds me of the Dire Badger my friend used to summon.

Not that he was a Druid or anything. He was a Gnome, actually, and as such he had the ability to cast Summon Creature I once a day. He alway's summoned a badger; more important, it was *always* the *same badger*. No matter what happened to it, the next time he cast that spell, the *same damn badger* came up.

Over the course of a year-long campaign, that badger grew to hate him with a firey, burning rage, dudes. It had been stabbed, burned, crushed, fallen over a cliff, eaten by a Griffin. Once we used it to set off all the traps in a dungeon. We'd summon it, send it down the hallway, and once we heard it die we rested and summoned again. In that ONE DUNGEON the badger died about 300 times.

Next session my friend ended up in an Orcish cooking-pot. Courtesy of the badger. :D

[Necro_Slayer]

Dude, thats awesome

[The Werewolf Lord]

Hmmm.... I can remember a few dumb things. Done by my dear friend.

Him and his party was staying at an inn. There was a Druid with two pet bunnies! But the bunnies were annoying one of the characters, so he threw one in the fire place. It died. The other bunny got scared and was about to flee the inn. The druid yelled, stop it! My friend, playing a dwarf, chased the bunny. He took his axe and chopped the bunny until it was nothing but fur and blood. I caught it, he said happily. Then the druid killed him.

And once, when he was a DM, he told me to go South-East for half a day, then go South-North until it got dark.

And a vampire story... He was DM in vampire, and had a NPC. The NPC, a vampire of course, told the party to meet him at dawn by the forest... My friend didn't realize the bad part about vampires meeting outdoors at dawn, until one of the players was kind enough to tell him.

And our great idea! There was a primitive inn... very primitive... they didn't even have keys. So when you paid for a room, then you got a wooden beam with the room number on it. Then you could block the door with the beam. If you paid a lot of money, for security, then you got one of metal! The worst part was when you had to leave the inn for some time. One time I carried a beam for 3 days.

We still use the beam everytime there is a poor or primitive inn. :D

[Ghost]

Two things Vampire Kobolds, and Blade barrier + ring of the ram

[Lian]

Hmmm... I remember one time, right after converting to 3.5 characters, the ranger had a badger animal companion. The fight coming up was a sunwyrm, which they beat.

I mention the badger animal companion because it lasted all of a minute or two in that session; sunwyrm uses breath weapon, badger fails save, badger gets around -60 some hp. The rest of the session consisted mainly of badger jokes.

[Metacide]

my group meets weekly and we alternate between me being the DM and another guy DMing. In the other guy's quest we had to scale a tower so we could enter form the top and work our way downward. Well we broke into groups to survey the tower to see if there was an obvious way to do it. The Paladin went off by himself and was attacked by some fiendish templated monsters, he ran away screaming. So now we know that there is something at the top of the tower just waiting to kill us so we invented a very good plan to combat it.
We decided to teleport ot the top of the tower, i mean who wants to climb? So one person would jump into another's bag of holding and then that person would jump into another's and so on until only the Psion was left with everyone in one bag of holding, she then teleported to the top and we all jumped out as quick as possible.
Nothin had happened yet so we creeped up on the center of the tower to find that there was a deep dark hole (actually a darkness spell) when all of a sudden our plan turns to crap and we are bein reamed. The Psion grabs the closest person and teleports away. I drink my potion of heal, i was down to 14 hitpoints, and leap off the side of the tower and plummet 300 feet to the ground, 30d6 damage plus ruined my armor, but i lived. the other 4 members were slaughtered. We decided to adventure elsewhere after that.

[chixdigpaleguys]

I think the stupidest idea my DM came up with was the white vampires, who were alergic (or whatever to darkness) This one wanted us to do a quest, but my cleric friend cast darkness and killed an entire room of them = )

[Hamelin]

I would really like to get into D&D, my friend has all the books and whatnot that we would need, but none of us know where to begin.

Are there any good resources online for complete and utter novices?

[Neverwhere]

d&d is easy as pie... just read the books, get an imagination, and some paper and pencils and your good to go... Oh, and you cant forget your dice.


My D&D group met every sunday before i went to college... now there is nobody who wants to play that i've found around here :(

[weezix]

if you dont have the die then you can use a scientific calculator, for example if you want an 8 die rolled put in

8 Ran#

[Hamelin]

See, you totally didn't answer my question.

[Neverwhere]

you want websites? www.google.com

[Hamelin]

You don't think I've looked with google? All my efforts thus far have really turned up nothing.

You don't have to act so indignant, I'm simply looking for something really simplified that I could use to figure out what the hell I'm trying to do with this.

[GatoFiero]

d&d famous last words:

"HEY LOOK!... ARCHERS!!"
"Come on, what could possibly go wrong?"
"I'll poke it with my sword."
"I though YOU brought the food!"
"Diamonds... Gold... Sapphires!!! Terry! Terry, we're rich, we're rich, we're fabulously wealthy!!!! Terry... Terry...??"
"What do you mean a 'herd of Tarrasque'?"
"Oh, shit."

Edit - I still havn't found a group to play d&d with yet but here are some of my fav. storys that i've heard.

Situation: The party is wandering through a wood.
GM: Suddenly, five huge brutes with clubs jump out of the shadows and surround you.
P1: I draw my sword.
P2: I draw my club (It was a barbarian, so what do you expect?)
P3 (with a voice that reminded me of something between RoboCop and T-800): Identify yourselves!
(Short pause)
P1: Identify yourselves?
P3: Well, I had to say something...
P2: You could've said something like "I draw my mighty sword and attack the biggest one!".

that was the only d&d story, these other ones are battletech storys:
Situation: The party tries to capture a Dropship of House Kurita which is just leaving a jumpship. They're inside it and looking for the command center.
GM: As you are walking through the corridors, you are passing a strange-looking door and...
P1: A door?
P2: Perhaps it's the way to the command center!
P3: We have to be careful. Is there anything written on it?
GM: Does anybody in the party know Japanese?
P1: Nobody does.
GM: Then you can't read it.
P3: I have a VERY strange feeling about this.
P1: So what? I say we charge right through it!
P2: Why charge? We have C8!
GM smiles and wonders why the Kurita techs were too lazy to translate the word "AIRLOCK" into English...
(Hee hee hee...)

GM: Your scout lance is confronted with a Galaxy-sized Clan assault force! What do you do?
Player 1: Die with honor!
Player 2: Counterstrike!
Player 3: Ummm... Retreat?!
(Pause)
Player 3: Give peace a chance?
(Pause)
Player 3: Oh come on! Please!?
(Pause)
Player 1: No. Death before dishonor!
Player 3: Yeah, whatever.
Player 1(piloting an Urbanmech): Charge Attack!!!
Player 2(Elemental): I'll make a DFA on that Atlas!

[Neverwhere]

ok.. i guess I could look into finding you one.. but to be perfectly honest, looking on a website will NOT teach you how to play. One must learn D&D through doing/seeing, not through reading. Its really an acquired skill. Ill post back here if i find a quality site. Oh, and Im sorry if I sounded like an ass, didnt mean it in that context.

[Neverwhere]

d&d famous last words:

"HEY LOOK!... ARCHERS!!"
"Come on, what could possibly go wrong?"
"I'll poke it with my sword."
"I though YOU brought the food!"
"Diamonds... Gold... Sapphires!!! Terry! Terry, we're rich, we're rich, we're fabulously wealthy!!!! Terry... Terry...??"
"What do you mean a 'herd of Tarrasque'?"
"Oh, shit."
Been there, said those :D Especially the Archer and 'Oh shit' ones :D

Oh, and the 3x 20 rolls rule kinda SUCKS when a goblin wench can kill you in one roll.... not that i've ever had that happen.. i swear...

[Neverwhere]

http://www.necromancergames.com/products.html <-- Free tutorial game: Walks DM through setting up a successful campaing, players get helpful insights (readying actions, holding actions, attacks of opportunity, etc)

http://directory.google.com/Top/Games/Roleplaying/Genres/Fantasy/Dungeons_&_Dragons/Software/ <-- self-explanatory

http://www.fantaseum.com/tips/index.asp <-- lots of helpful tips



More if needed

[Necro_Slayer]

by the D&D adventure starter set. its only like, 15 bucks and it comes with all the necasary stuff.

[Neverwhere]

I would really like to get into D&D, my friend has all the books and whatnot that we would need, but none of us know where to begin.

Are there any good resources online for complete and utter novices?
Like he said, online

[Whitemage]

THIS is like a D&D session, and it's true cause even I laughed recongnizing myself in Fighter. XD

http://www.cybermoonstudios.com/8bitDandD.html

[Jack of Spades]

Here's a good quote.
"What are you racist!? So what if they're 'black'?! I'm an elf too, a noble even so just let me talk."
Needless to say the party was annihilated. The two PC's that weren't killed were sold into slavery.

[Whitemage]

Here's a good quote.
"What are you racist!? So what if they're 'black'?! I'm an elf too, a noble even so just let me talk."
Needless to say the party was annihilated. The two PC's that weren't killed were sold into slavery.
Heh, damn.. before I could even say my joke about how all drow eat fried chicken and watermelon.. XP

[Metacide]

We have this one guy in our D&D group who will play for about 5 minutes then promptly fall asleep. At first we ignored it and just woke him up for the fights, but it started to get very annoying, so we started to get creative with it. The DM had an unused curtain rod that we promoted to "Rumpin Rod" which we would use to poke him with from a distance, mainly in the ass but sometiems in the face as well.
One time he had enough and he and the DM fought over the rod and it is now a "scythe."
Other times we used the toilet plunger on him. ya know, wipe it on his face. plunge him in the butt, that type of stuff. good times.
BTW if anyone in the tacoma, WA area is lookin for a group, we could use a few more people.

[Kaine]

I've been playing/DMing 2nd Edition D&D for about 10 years... so I have an interesting store of stories... they just need to come back...

My group in college had a character very similar to that named Maximillian Verbosia, a ratehr old Human Bard. I made a rule that whenever Dan (Maximillian) was asleep, so was his character. That made for a very interesting case of narcolepsy in the game...

One time the party was camped outside of a huge gathering of fire giants, orcs, and a Green Dragon when they were ambushed by a group of the aforesaid Fire Giants. They broke through the forest and one of them stepped on the sleeping Maximillian.... we promptly slapped Dan and said, "Wake up, you just got stepped on by a giant."

His eyes fluttered open, he looked at us and said, "Well, then it would obviously be stupid for me to wake up then, wouldn't it?" And rolled back over and went to sleep.

Another situation that has nothing to do with narcolepsy...

The same Maximillian was separated from the party in the middle of a large city and found himself in the very "Open and Liberal" part of town. It was nighttime and he needed a room, so he wandered into a Bar called The Burning Spear (Phallic Reference). Inside, he soon found out that it was a gay bar with an Inn over it. Despondently, he proceeded to the desk and rented a room.... the whole time a guy in the corner kept staring at him.

Maximillian got to his room, found the lock broken and curled up on the floor with a chair wedged against the door handle.... he woke up with his pants around his ankles and his arms and legs roughed up. DAMN YOU NARCOLEPSY!

He got him back though... Maximillian went downstairs and saw the man who was staring at him the night before blowing kisses at him. So... Maximillian cast Charm Person...

Max led him out to an alley and convinced him to take off his pants - very easy considering the charm person spell.... he then convinced him to walk out in the street as a noble entourage was coming. Then Max cast Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter on him...

He laughed while he was beaten to death by guards... the only case of that spell working correctly...

:p

[Rumple]

I've been playing D&D for about 8 years now, DMing for about 6... We meet to play every Sunday, currently. We're playing a rather high-octane game in an alternate Prime Material. Next session we fight Bel, Archdevil, Lord of the First. We're nervous. :D

I'll reserve my funny stories until after that, I have a feeling desperation can churn up some comedy here. :)

[Necro_Slayer]

pc:where did you come from?
Me:the closet
pc:you where born in a closet?
me:ummmmmmmm yes
DM: you hear singing coming from the closet
pc:OH there are halflings making singing in the closet



he wouldnt stop saying making singing in the closet......it was quit annoying

[Metacide]

quick question for anyone out there. I like to throw riddles at the PCs when i am the DM but i want more than just the standard word riddles that you find with Google. Does any one know of a place i can look or possibly know of one they can just tell me?

[Rumple]

There's some 3rd party books that expand on this type of thing; as well, there's resources like Dragon magazines and adventures you can lift riddles/puzzles from.

Just as a caveat, always remember that answering the riddle is not the only way to pass the puzzle. A good enough rogue can work wonders... the best way to encourage people to solve them is bonus xp for trying, and better xp for solving besides just "rolling" your way past a puzzle.

[Neverwhere]

make up your own meta :D

seriously, ones you make are always the best. Just do the easiest thing in the world: mince words

[Metacide]

i have mad a few of my own, the trouble is that the gamers are starting to learn how i think and can guess the answer after a few moments. what i really want is a puzzle with no answer, that's sure to mess with them.

[Muffin Mage]

Ahh, the stories I could tell... But I'll stick to two.

First: My gravyboat.
This was in one of our more recent campaigns, where I was a wizard, and the entire party was about to be deified. Now, we were about level 38 at the time, and Dan, a recurring irritation that had spawned a novel of annoying jokes (like the couch, the hydra in the cookie library, the tea, and the brownies), had teleported into Sembar's (that's my character) tower. He desecrated my altar, then began throwing my antique china set out the window. Mishra appeared, and put some sort of dimensional doorway in front of the window. I said "No, not the gravyboat!" Dan, of course, picked up the gravy boat and threw it out the window. I dove after it, and was teleported somewhere. Afterwords, we looked both in the destination, and around my tower, but didn't find the remains. So my wizard is firmly convinced that his gravy boat is somewhere, and he is bending all his resources and minions to finding it.

Our pimpin' tank.
In our current campaign, we have come to posses what we refer to as the pimpin' tank. It is pimpin'. Here's how we got it:
We were guarding a caravan (you know, pretty standard level 1 stuff) when we were captured by goblins. They sold us into slavery, and we were being shipped in a fairly sturdy four-wheeled wagon, pulled by mules. We escaped before we reached our destination, killing the slavers and taking the wagons. We launched an assault on the slave-run farming community that was our destinaiton, getting all my peasants killed, and getting a bunch of nails and a few large steel shields. Sometime previously, we had gone into a cave, and mutated, growing stronger and becoming oddly colored.
In the next town we entered, we killed a priest, for some reason, and fled. Then, we spent about two months in the town after that, beefing up our wagon with the spoils of war. We basically nailed steel shields to the sides of the wagon, mounted crossbows on all four corners, with an extra two in the front, and put a little cupola on top, over some wooden boards. We also reinforced the axles and wheels. You must remember that we had no mages or clerics of any sort during this entire time. It was all fightery goodness.
And our tank is, indeed, pimpin'.

One gaming session story:
I finished my bottle of orange soda (a 2-liter), and was bored while our DM rambled on about some unimportant thing. I picked up my bottle and threw it at him, striking him right between the eyes. It was hilarious.

[High Octane]

In one of the present groups I am in, this level 1 wizard with 4 hit points keeps opening barrels, doors, and other things. They ALWAYS end up trapped. Anyway, at one point my character was outside the room that Kag (the wizard) opened a barrel with a flame trap in it. Then (not due to Kag) a wall fell down. My character peeked into the room and frustratedly said "What did you do Kag?"

So now every time I hear something bad or otherwise destructive happen, I say "Kag, what did you do?"

[Kebur Ame'trakel]

A few years ago I was playing a game of D&D with my friends in college. The party consisted of a fighter, sorceror, cleric of shar and a rogue all level 5. We had just finished a quest and returned to the fighters hometown of Silverymoon. We had just accepted another quest and needed to get supplies so the thief stated that he would do all the shopping since he had an 18 Char and a high diplomacy skill. With that he jotted down a "grocery list" of all the equipment we needed (this is all in character of course).

The thief strolls up to this small little weapons/armor shop with only the storekeeper there, no guards. Before he enters he picks up a handful of dirt and stuffs it into his pocket. When he enters the shop he begins reading off the list to the clerk, and the clerk would place the equipment on a table in the front of the store. The thief makes a search check and the DM informs him that there is a tablecloth on the table. Once the list was read out the thief asks for other highly valuable looking items, those too were placed on the table. Finally the storekeeper rings up the bill and as the thief appears to be getting gold from his pocket he pulls out the dirt and throws in into the shopkeepers face, grabs the table cloth with the items stuffed inside like a sack and hauls ass out the store. What was amazing was the sheer luck of his rolls. He only had a 12 strength and was able to pass his strength check EVERY time by rolling 16's and higher.

So the storekeeper quickly persues the thief with his very expensive looking warhammer in hand. It turned out this storekeeper was a level 10 fighter with a +2 Warhammer with 1d6 cold damage; needless to say if the thief got hit by that hammer it was have taken him out cold in considering he was running with his back towards the storekeeper. The DM conveniently added a feature to the hammer that made it return to the owners hands when thrown (sounds like Aegis Fang from Salvatore's novels). So this thief is running from this storekeeper through backalleys with a sack full of a suit of full plate, 2 longswords, a tower shield and other small shit like arrows, bolts, etc. dodging powerful throws of this warhammer and GOT AWAY! He passed EVERY roll check it was amazing and a stroke of dumb luck, but it was hilarious watching the thief player's face when had to make a roll on whether or not he was gonna get hit. He would have been screwed because he would have either been killed or thrown in prison, and our party would have left him there because we all made an agreement to no prison breaks when we first formed the party (in character).

[Necro_Slayer]

Me and my party entered a dungeon and saw a door to the east and a garage can to the north.We approached the door and listened to hear sniggering.I open the door and kill a few hobgoblins.For some reason i skin the hobgoblins and cook them.i heard squeeking behind me then saw a dire rat that had followed us for a while from the garbage cans.I gave it some of the meat and it kept follow close behind us.
I was feeding every five minutes or so and eventually, was my animal minion as long as i feed it every five minutes. :bmage:

[Dante]

I would really like to get into D&D, my friend has all the books and whatnot that we would need, but none of us know where to begin.

Are there any good resources online for complete and utter novices?

3.5E System Reference Document (http://3.5srd.com/web/sovelior_sage_srd/Sovelior%20SRD/home.html)

This is essentially the Player's Handbook in HTMl form.

But if you already have easy access to the book, you might also want to try the wizards.com boards for information on how to start a character.

[Minkus]

Hehe, so many fun times with DnD. Most of them consisted of a combination of sleep deprivation and caffeine. These are some of the few that had none of either.

1) Band of the Great Gray Goat.
One of the players in my group wanted to play a minotaur, but didn't want the whole evil thing. DM, being more about the fun than the rules lawyering, took a standard mino and crossed it with a paly. Player needs to take Holy Water every two days, but since I was a cleric, no problem. One of (yes, we had several) our NPCs was a centaur who spoke Mino. So, standard operating procedure was mino charge, centaur follow, elven ranger ('nother NPC) on cent's back. Cleared a full mansion without those three ever coming to a complete stop. Laps on first floor, charge up stairs, repeat. Since the house was full of special skeles, the minos horns got a rainbow nimbus, his axe got blood red and flames, and the cenataurs hooves all went pink.

2) The Hammer!
My bro, Phil, was playing a fighter(prof:blacksmith) with a sledge hammer for a weapon. We got to a specially sealed door, and discussed how to get by it. Basically, there was a rose with all the pedals spread out. Slide the pedals back into place, presto chango. Well, being the oh-so-strength oriented person he was, Phil attepmted to slam the door open with his hammer. Now understand, this hammer was his pride and joy, he had named it and all. It disintegrated upon impact, and ever since, whenever we have a lull in the gameplay, a good "Phil lost his hammer" never ceases to amuse.


3) The Coliseum.
My DM decided to amuse a few of our players and set up a coliseum-style campaign. First, defeat our opponents, second, get out of slavery, third, reap vengeance on our former masters. The ONLY time I've ever seen two (or more) 18s on a character (naturally rolled, anyway) was our fighter. A barbarian (2nd ed, basically the same thing) He had 18/00 STR, 18 CON, 18 DEX. We all watched him roll these naturally. He, at level one, took out an Ettin (level 2), then a full squad of hobgoblins (level 3) and a band of Ogres (level 4). This was done in one gaming session. Then I, our mage, was the only one who wasn't in the pit during the last fight, which was against a hydra. I, being the lowly lvl 6 that I was (the highest of the group), took it upon myself to kill it with a fireball. Then, the fighter demanded to due me...after we escaped. I had, after all, shown him up, what could make more sense? Before that could happen though, we got stuck in the sewers. Our elven rogue got tired of me whining about not being able to see in complete darkness, and hit me. 1 pt damage. I responded with a burning hands. He stabbed me, I blasted all of us with another fireball. The fighter, with his insane hp, survived, and butchered what remained of my charred corpse, demanding I return to duel.


4) The Tower. I had a good human ranger, and my DM decided to make for me an NPC nemesis...a human ranger. Basically, we were going to be at each other's throats for a couple of in-game days straight. Or so my DM thought. My first task was to check on the Bron's holding's. No problem. He asks me to check a tower in the middle of the woods, to which I readily agree. I head into the tower, and get shot at by an arrow. Start duel. For the next hour and a hlaf, IRL, the two rangers go up down, and through the tower, hunting each other...or so I thought. Actually, the evil one left about 3 IRL mins into the duel. So I'm going around, wondering when he'll pop out, who'll catch who, etc, and doing all the stuff one does in an odd place. Move 2 feet, silence 5 mins. Move 5 feet, stab lumpy sack, silence 5 mins, repeat. After that little fiasco, the ranger became completely paranoid and would only consider a place "safe" after one trap per square foot being used was set. If he slept in a 10x10 room with one door, ten traps were set at that door. He lasted until he met another adventurer who set off one of his more viscious traps, and killed himself in the process.

[Raven!]

Ok. My current group and I were adventuring on this island that was based strongly on an Indian culture with a warrior cult and Shiva and all that. So we're on this island and trying to help the poor natives in their quest to win back their island from this bad evil wizard dude. So we're about 2nd to 4th level and we discover something: if you touch the Guradian Statue of a village, you get a power, but you loose a power too! Usually you loose two things for one. I was playing a wizard (Gnosh the Great) and so we find another statue and this one represents the Goddess of Wisdom. We can see that by the engravings in a book we find.

So our bard walks up and touches it. ANd looses two points of Intelligence for one point of wisdom.

What happens. Everyone is laughing at her shock and i just go: "Well look at it this way, you're wise enough not to do that again." That just made it worse of course.

****

Then in a game a few years back (AD&D 2nd Ed rules) we were all lost in this dungeon. It was a moving maze, so as we walked we got seperated. Well, I was playing a halfling cleric and managed to stick close to our groups fighter and we're taking on these enemies with no light at at all cause it is dark and spooky. Well we open this door and there is this person standing there with a huge sword, who we proptly hit with everything we have.

Our thief never forgave us for that.

****

In another game I had a wizard, Seltar the Powerful and Strong, a 1st level wizard. We were exploring a ruined keep cause the locals said it was haunted and they asked for help. Well to get to this keep we had to cross over some water, and our boat sank. So I die of drowning cuase the DM just rolled bad, but he felt kindly and said I really didn't die I was just knocked out and floated to shore. Well I was like. Ok, lets have fun. I decided that the knock to his head and minutes without oxygen led to him basically going insane (he had an 8 wis anyway). So he is giggling as he moves around and the DM loves it (bonus 100 XP! WOOHOOO!) and we get hit by what I think is a leperchaun. Who polymorophs my staff into a flower. So i'm running around pointing my staff at people and shouting "FLOWER POWER" while flinging magic missiles. It was great.

****

Thats all I can remember right now.

Raven!

[The DubhGhaill]

My friends usually just say stupid things, my favorite being my friend James "yeah, that where you were, times six!" which was followed by my other friend saying "James, get off the crack!" but this was at 4 in the morn, and much is non-sensical then. Anyway, I play with two groups, one being with 4 other people, and the other with about 12 people total. Two completely different styles of playing. In the small group I have a wizard, and in the alrger one I've a barbarian.

Oh, does anyone have any ideas for the XP cost of using permancy on something like Bull's Strength? Because I enjoy the twinkage of that kind of thing...

[High Octane]

Rogue: I quickly open the door and tumble to the left to avoid arrow fire.
DM (me):*begins to laugh hysterically for 3 minutes straight* You just rolled down a circular flight of stairs!

I swear to god, I didn't plan that, or make it up on the spot. I'm not that creative. He rolled down the stairs and then rolled a d10 and said "My pride takes 8 points of damage."

[RangerAidan]

-Having a xenophobic Dwarf in our party sucked.
-Being unable to convince the guy not to use the name Gord Battlehammer sucked
-Gord with ridiculous luck finding a Luck Blade with one wish sucked.
-Gord misspeaking and wishing he wasn't so lucky was golden.

You see, My half-elven, Female, CG Cleric of the Elffather didn't seem to set well with Gord the CN male Dwarven fighter. We tried to be cordial, but (see sig.).
We just seemed to have this big problem with making fun of each other. He's dumb as a rock and looks like someone set his face on fire and put it out with a hammer...which is not to say someone didn't. I didn't even set his face on fire. It was the slamander, I swear, it wasn't me. THough nobody was keeping a close eye on him, I'm pretty sure it was either the Thoqqua he tried to eat, or the fire baby (what are those called??) he thought was cute, and that thought his beard was fun...Either way, something set his face on fire, and I distinctly remember him yelling for us to put it out. The wizard was dead (again, for me to bring back), so no ray of frost, paladin just rockin out to that unstoppable dance spell while the damn bard played his bagpipes for no apparent reason (Which turned out to be a Geas placed on him before we met for having been found guilty of playing the bagpipes in a public place). I had already used my create water spell for a shower earlier that day, so, my ponderings were interrupted by him yelling something about his hammer. It was a nice hammer, let me tell you. Now, I'm not sure if he wanted me to use the hammer to put out hte fire, or whether he just wanted me to stop the fire baby from eating it. I suggested he use the pool of liquid behind him, just for good measure. The DM pipes in, laughin, "it's highly flammable, you know...plane of fire?" As you can see, this just made him yell at us with more fury than before as he failed will save after will save to keep from running around in terrified circles. I finally tripped him and repeated;y pounded him in the face with his own hammer until said fire was out. His CHA was subsequently lowered from 9 to 4. Hey, I'm still CG, ain't I? Kinda funny how my WIS is an 18, though.

[DieLiberalDie]

top 3 shitiest things in ADnd
3. 10 towns
2. lack of rum
1. having a liberal but hot elf in your party who needs to grow a beard.

Damn i need sum rum. rum, rum, in my tum. God Damnned elf and her little elf worshiping, seems like everytime i kill sum unlucky giant she be takin my treasures and giving to sum god for sum no good damned reason. Thats how she burned me beard. We found quite nice items in a duengeon, a big one were i killed everything! and then ate the meat from there carcases which might i say was quite good, drow not taste to bad. Any way i found a luck blade, so that little elf decides that to keep herself lucky and not grow a beard so she steals it and uses the wish to burn me beard, thats right burn me beard. The weakling elf couldnt talk with its mouth full of drow. She tried to say let me grow a beard so i can be the wife of this lovely dwarf. But as i repeat myself the elfs weak jaws could not say it with food in her mouth. Theirlin lies the story of my missing beard

[RangerAidan]

...decided to listen and come on the forum

[!]

In the first game I ran, a one on one game, the player had managed to go from a farmer with a hoe to some sort of angel cyborg who owned a very large continent, had his own militia, and also had a hillbilly in a hovercraft with a shotgun that, whenever fired, killed five of his men. Don't ask me how it happened, as I do not know.

[RangerAidan]

Don't smoke crack

[!]

I wasn't really doing a serious game (obviously), I was just getting the hang of DMing. Which failed horribly. But hey, I'm getting better at it. I honestly can't remember how that happened, or even why I let him be a farmer in the first place. Shit happens, I guess.

[RangerAidan]

Too true, man. That's just the caziest story i've heard!

[e-man2001]

my favorites moments fell within a 2nd ed. planescape gaqme last year with friends.
party consisted of a sensate theif/fighter, a dustman necromancer(me), a xiaositec wildmage, doomgaurd theif, thrikreen druid, and a doomgaurd fighter.

needless to say an eccentric lot... specially the wildmage. (he would cast BABBLE any time we were about to get useful info from NPCs)

so first, we goto Bytopia. (in case you dont know its a plane that is basically two planes on top of eachother... the ceiling of one is the ground of the other and vice versa... so if u look up you see the other side... they are connected by a great column... and gravity shifts midway through.)
We are busily moving from layer to layer climbing the great column. and I am skulking about how annoying the sensate is as she hassles me about life. When I pass the "gravity shifts here" sign. And the xiasitec moves it 6 feet lower ;) making the sensate not prepared for it(she had lagged behind) and almost die.

Later on in the campaign our xaiositec "bought" a kitten from another xiaositec and had cast continual light on its tail. It was later taken and boiled by orcs who had us captured. So it was a skeleton. And as the necromancer i was I resurrected it and 'gave' him control over it. He used it as his "familiar" of sorts and it rested on his head for the rest of the campaign...

Fast forward to the games eventual ending... and the last words said by my character as we part "mittens, Claw his eyes out." and i walk away.

Good times

[The_Phat_G]

I have quite a few stories, even tho I only played with my group about 5 times before the DM got fed up with 7 people groups and knocked it down to 4 or 5.

I'll start off with the story of my first session ever. My character, an elf ranger, was heir to a grand fortune. He was a teenager by elven standards (130-somethin), so he was still living at his dad's mansion (I think this is rather funny in itself). So the party shows up all tired and such, and my friend's LG dwarf cleric sweet talked my dad into letting them stay the night. For reasons beyond me, he stuck the one-eyed dwarf fighter in the wine cellar for the night. Anyways, the "neutral" sorcerer gets up in the middle of the night and casts invisibility on himself. He goes snooping around, looking for valuable stuff to liberate from the wealthy 1%, when he sneaks into my parent's room, and sees an important-looking chest sitting in the corner. He finds a key to it in my dad's top drawer, and opens it, finding our family heirloom, an enchanted longsword named "Korisnian". So, he picks it up, but finding it heavier than he anticipated, he drops it with a very loud "CLANG". My dad fails his roll pretty badly, and rolls over in his sleep mumbling about "That damned kid". So the sorcerer takes Korisnian and hauls ass outta there. He sets off an alarm somehow (I forgot) and he hops onto his horse, which was cursed in a previous session, and is slowly transforming into a nitemare. Our guards take after him, and don't do a very good job. The first critically misses and nails the other in the back of the head with an arrow. Two more get knocked out by a Stinking Cloud released by the nitemare, and the other was simply crushed beneath its hooves. Then my father, the party, the portion of our guardhouse that wasn't on duty, and I took off after him. He conveniently found a group of bandits to blame the robbery on, and battle ensued, in which my father died valiently. I noticed the sword, and pointed out to everyone else that it happened to belong to me (dad wouldn't need it anymore anyways). The sorcerer managed to fool everyone but me that he found it on the bandit leader. So, after the dwarf cleric was finished swapping whatever he was wearing with my father's full-plate, we were off. That night, the sorcerer found out why it's not nice to fuck with elven artifacts like Korisnian. Because any non-elf that was in possesion of it had terrible nightmares every night. And he failed all his rolls miserably. So after 4 days with no sleep, I simply walked into his room (we were on a boat now) and reclaimed Korisnian. I'll stop here tho, cuz this is getting way too long.

[Lycanthrope]

Yes, I've had some interesting times with DnD. In one game, where I was playing with some people I didn't know, we were in a town that was "unexpectedly" invaded with goblins. PC's: a half elven bard (me), a human rogue, and a kabold sorcerer of all things for a PC to be... but.... so the goblins are acting unusually organized, and within minutes have the town guard down. The sorcerer slips out the back way, the rogue goes off to see how much he can plunder in the chaos. While in a blacksmith's, Gets a couple bags of caltrops and scatters them across the street. Meanwhile, I attempt to bring courage to the people of the town in the tavern. they run outside, mill about confusedly, for a few minutes, before being fired upon by one of the goblins. They turn tale and run... straight through the caltrops. Everyone in the town now has been incapasitated except for me, the rogue, the sorcerer, and the goblins. In the end, there were only three functioning able bodied people in the entire town.

[Locke]

Alright I have a level eleven half-elven fighter named Ferradane with improved two weapon fighting. First hand: Vorpal Sword +3, second hand: Long Sword +2 he also has some wings of flying so just imagine how fun that is.
First and most recent story: We are wandering through a large wasteland and we find a civilization of gnomes harvesting gold and steel and what not. They use elephants as their main defense and transportation because A: Elephants are out there and B: they can use them and C: they are tough mothers. So later they tell us that they claim to be tormented by a dragon and it calls for an elephant full of gold each month. This is pricly to them because it takes down their defense and they lose gold. So they plead and beg for us to kill it. Naturally the greedy Chaotic Neutral character that I am says ok seeing the long term benefits. So we venture to its cave. After a long climb we get to the top (for Ferredane it was a fly hehehehe) and we are trying to decide what to do. All of a sudden a dragon materializes in front of us with its large mouth attacted to the barbarian. So we all attack, dwarven sharpshoot does his damage and the rest of us miss. Dragon does a breath weapon and Ferradane side-steps for half damage. In the same round Ferradane criticals with is vorpal and off goes the dragons head. Easistest two round battle with a dragon I have ever had.

[Nimbus]

Don't mess with the halfings... you can find no better thief, but the scene looks funny.

My friend you are most obviously not acquainted with "The Munchkins guide to Powergaming" For if you were you would know this simple truth. A Halfling does not a make a good rogue. A Halfling does not even make a good halfling.

[Tor]

Hey it worked for me... I stole the crown jewels and the guards pants while I was level 5

[Lycanthrope]

That might have just been your dm fudging in your favor. lets see... hard cold facts are always nice... A halfling gets a +4 bonus on hide checks (nice, but also applies to gnomes), a +2 bonus on Climb, Jump, and move silently (also nice, especially move silently, but is not going to help you steal somone's pants), and the +2 dexterity would come in useful. They also have the nice favored class being rogue so that it doesn't count as a multiclass.

[Jack of Spades]

A natural 20 explains the jewels.
But as for pants they're easy to steal but getting away with it is another matter.
Killing you DM's prized "boss" monster in 1 round with an Earthquake spel is quite enjoyable :cool:
DM:Nick you win initiative
Me:I cast earthquake!
DM: huh? Lemme see that!...hmm25% chance...saving throw DC20...Ok he should be fine!*Rolls %tile*DAMN!*Rolls D20*ok 3 plus...DAMN!-I mean...a screw it...Damn!
Me: So since I got here 2 rounds before the others the XP is all mine right?
DM:...yes...You bastard

[Lycanthrope]

My new favorite is when myself and my party pretty much twinked a Diabolical Fortress that my DM set up to be Uber Difficult. He put two Kytons in a room full of spiked chains. I killed them both with a cone of cold. Then when we faced a Pit Fiend and killed it in three rounds. Much fun.

[Mashirosen]

It's really sad that you're not even trying, Delamar. When I said you were banned, I meant it.

[Dante]

Go Mash!

We actually tried playing a Lame Mage against a Hulking Hurler. The Lame Mage won, but ony because of Time Stop

[Dark Archon]

I've recently started a D&D campaign. Only our DM has ever truly played before. Makes for some....interesting developments. Like this one time, we were in a house talking with an NPC because it was to dangerous to talk outside, when a party member of mine, spots a shadowy guy hiding in the corner. You want to know what he did? He asks the NPC we've been talking to, "Hey, who's that over in the corner?" Which was answered by a crossbow bolt promptly sticking through our NPC as he was about to explain a major plot event.

Like I said, interesting times...

[Lycanthrope]

Or, he may be a genious who predicted that. I like to throw the PC's for a loop in my campaign. Since my players paroose this sight and know me by screen-name, I won't give any details, but suffice to say that it is damn complicated, and any time they think they have the entire picture, they don't.

[Eli-kun]

Once my friend was in this campaign where he changed a gargantuan creature into a small iguana and called it Herb. He carried it with him, until his party came into a small cave filled with demons. He threw Herb in and cast dispell magic. Herb crushed the demons and the rest of the party.

Once my mom played a ranger that knitted socks for the rest of the party. When a Mind Flayer came in with some zombies and caused some commotion by chasing an elf, my mom's character got angry and said "You made me drop a stich!"